It’s horrible, the state that Zayn in is.
I can’t believe that I just saved someone, from killing himself.
And it’s Zayn, why didn’t he call or even text me?
I have some feeling of guilt over me, I hate myself in a way. But I never thought it would come this far, that he would kill himself.?
He lays down on the ground now, and he is realizing that he lays down on the floor, and what now?
‘Zayn, can you hear me?’
His eyes go open and then close again, it’s really scary to see this, it seems like he’s gonna die..
‘Do I need to call an ambulance? Zayn answer me?’
Came finely out of his mount
And I was relieved that he could talk, that I know he lives and I smile a little..
I lift him up and take his arm in mine, I’m gonna take him to my home. It will be better to talk and to take care of the little wounds he has like everywhere..
We start to walk very slowly and after a while we reach my house, save.
I open the door and let him in, I guide him the way to my sofa.
And he sits down, and I see that he starts to cry.
‘Zayn please, can you explain everything to me? But first do you need something to drink or to eat?’
‘I-I would like some coffee if you have’
I nod and after a while I came back with 2 coffees and some chocolate cookies.
I place them on my table and I look at Zayn
‘Can you now tell me?’
‘I don’t know what to tell, I think you get it already don’t you’
‘How can you be so desperate?’
‘I just didn’t saw a way out anymore, Demi. Everything would be better. There was a black whole and I was walking in it’
‘Why didn’t you ever called or maybe sent a little text?’
‘I didn’t wanted to be a bother for you, I’m sorry’
I walk up to him and sit next to him, and take his hand.
‘Hey, you aren’t a bother! You would never be! Zayn please look at me, I’m not kidding! I mean it!’
We look in each other’s eyes for a while and those perfect brown eyes of him don’t shine as they did a while ago.
‘I will be here for you, don’t forget that’
We look in each other’s eyes for a little more and then break the stare.
I tell her my whole story and she gets it
‘Thank you, I can’t say that enough now’
‘Zayn, I just want you to see that you need to be here. I need you, Harry needs you! And I know Liam and Niall need you more than ever.’
‘I’m not sure’
‘Did you know Niall and Liam were in a car crash?’
‘Yeah, last Friday. The day that they were a 11 months together, the whole school talks about it’
‘I can’t believe it’
‘If you had killed yourself, they would never come up again’
‘Niall probably don’t know anything about this and Liam was mad, but I know that he wants to be friends again’
‘I just let my feelings take over me and I can’t do that, not anymore. I figured out that I didn’t even had feelings for Liam, I was in love with that kinda relationship they have. I was jealous about their relationship, I would like to have the same contact with someone as them, I would like to love someone like they love each other’
‘Zayn, just stop thinking about Liam right now! You know the truth now, just look someone that you can share that with, someone who waits. Someone who deserves to have such a boyfriend than you Zayn, you are a very special person! It would be a shame for the world losing that kind of people’
Her words go through my veins and I know she means it.
Liam is my best friend and Niall too, I can’t lose them.
I never loved Liam, I loved the person he was in his relationship with Niall. I would hate myself if I would ever broke that up, by my stupid behavior.
‘Your right, you’re the best! I couldn’t thank you more!’
‘I didn’t wanted to bury one of my friends under the ground Zayn, I hope that I never have to see that, because it wasn’t such a great thing to see’
‘I’m so sorry, Demi’
I say and I go over to her to give her a hug
And she deepens him and buries her head in the crook of my neck
We talk to each other some more and after that I go home.
I really need some rest, and after that I go to the hospital. Maybe are Niall and Liam still there
I have massive pain in my ribs.
They hurt like hell, but they will be better..
There is a good thing to!
We can go home today!
Finely good meals and my mom and dad and brother again..
Liam is packing our bags, we cleared everything out and we still love each other, we love each other even more now.
I just have really weird things going on, I keep seeing those things over and over again.
Those thing are; our car crash
Every time when I close my eyes I see that car hit that tree over and over again.
I didn’t told Liam or my mom about it because I thought it would be nothing and they all have enough around their head and I just need to live with it I think.
It will be probably because of the shock but in a day or two it will be gone I hope..
‘ready to go darling?’
Liam asks me and I nod really friendly
He smiles at me and comes closer to my lips and pecks them really soft and I smile at him..
‘C’mon, push this baby Payne’
I say and he start to push the wheelchair I’m in.
And we stop at the reception, and we both do the sigh that Jay needs to come out of her cabin..
She smiles at us and then comes over to us..
‘Hey boys, you are going home?’
‘yes we are’
Just on the same moment me and Liam are pulling something from behind our backs..
Liam a whole bouquet of red roses and I pull up a card with in big red letters “Thank You!”
‘aww boys, you didn’t have to do that really’
‘You are the woman that saved our lives!’ I say
She smiles at me
‘No baby, that were the doctors’
‘Well we don’t care about them!’
I say with a really big smile on my face.
‘You silly come here’
She says and she comes over to me and she gives me a kiss on my cheek
‘Take care baby!’
She whispers in my ear and I nod at her
‘Liam, take care of your man over there and also about yourself’
he says smiling
He hugs her and she smiles
‘Don’t forget boys! It’s just Niam Forever!’
We both smile at her and we wave her out
Once we were outside I feel a dejection come over me, I don’t know what it is.
But there were cars everywhere, I wasn’t convertible anymore.
When we were at the car of Liam’s parents Liam pulls the door of the car open
And there it was again, that feeling, of not being save.
That memory of being in that car and not knowing what to do.
I can’t do it, I can’t get in the car.
‘I can’t do it, I’m not gonna do it!’
‘what?, what aren’t you gonna do?’
‘I’m not going in that car’
‘Liam I can’t. I keep seeing our accident over and over again, I don’t feel save, I don’t wanna be in that car. I’m not going in that car too’
‘Why didn’t you say that before?’
And tears are coming down my cheeks
‘Hey babe, don’t cry. We leave this baby here and we walk home, nothing to worry about, I get you. Hey, don’t worry about it, it’s gonna be alright’
Again, I’m glad I have Liam. He’s an real angel..!