I’m tired of it, just tired of living.
I hate being here, I try to talk to people but they don’t response.
Why would I be here when they don’t need me, and I don’t need them too.
I will be much, much happier when I’m above.
I hate myself for doing such things to Liam! He was one of my best friends and now he isn’t anymore, he probably never wants to talk to me.
I just let my feelings get over me, I know I shouldn’t kissed Liam twice. I know that all, but I knew it all much too late.
I deserve not being here anymore.
I deserve that people hate me.
I deserve that I hate myself, and I never can be happy again.
I just threw my whole life away from the day I stared to have feelings for Liam. I just needed to be strong and just ignored them. Then I wasn’t here right now..
I start walking now, I was in my little park.
I usually come to here when I feel sad or alone. But now I just was sitting here to think, should I do it? Or shouldn’t I ?
I would feel much happier, and I just wouldn’t be a bother anymore..
I start walking faster, I want this to be done..
I hate myself and I hate this fucking world.
I wouldn’t even fit in once..
I hate it, I hate me, I hate myself…
When I’m almost at my point where I need to be, I start to walk slowly again..
I see Niall in front of my eyes. I see Liam and everything comes back, all those perfect memories. Just all away with one stupid kiss.
Again, I hate myself.
I start cutting like a small month ago, I knew that it wouldn’t be anything.
I thought with cutting that it would be better, I thought things wrong.
I did it and I had pain, but I know I deserve that pain.
So I kept doing it, hoping that after one cut something would be better.. I knew it wasn’t gonna happen, but I kept trying it over and over again..
With thinking on it I lift op my sleeve and I see all the cuts on my arms..
But then I think of my legs, thighs..
Also full of those.
A tear slips out of my eye..
I am here, I need to be here.
I hear cars, and more tears stream down my face..
I walk into the middle of the street. And then I climb up the celling.
I know it, I’m sure of it..
Zayn Jawaad Malik is gonna commit suicide right now..
I look right in front of me and try to focus me, after this I’m gonna be happy. I’m gonna be free, I need to leave the past behind me..
I close my eyes for a second, cars chasing by.
Under me next to me..
Everywhere, I will be dead with in a second.
Finely ready to go..
My eyes still close and I feel myself getting lighter, as light as a little feather..
Just when I wanna fall, all the memories of my past go through my mind..
I lose grip of the celling and I’m ready to fall..
My hands lose the celling and I start to move, but just on that moment I feel two strong hands on my torso.
Pulling me over the celling again..
I open my eyes slowly, feeling I lay down on something and I look up.
A pair of beautiful brown eyes look right in mine..