Why Not? A Larry/Niam Fanfic

Harry his parents are divorsed but he has a really hard time, he moved with his mom to Wolver Hampton.. Soon he gets to know Zayn, Liam and Niall.. But an other person very special in his live is Louis.. His live quickly starts to be a drama story.. We Will see what that we be Bring

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17. Chapter 17.

   

Zayn’s Pov

I’m tired of it, just tired of living.

I hate being here, I try to talk to people but they don’t response.

Why would I be here when they don’t need me, and I don’t  need them too.

I will be much, much happier when I’m above.

I hate myself for doing such things to Liam! He was one of my best friends and now he isn’t anymore, he probably never wants to talk to me.

I just let my feelings get over me, I know I shouldn’t kissed Liam twice. I know that all, but I  knew it all much too late.

I deserve not being here anymore.

I deserve that people hate me.

I deserve that I hate myself, and I never can be happy again.

I just threw my whole life away from the day I stared to have feelings for Liam. I just needed to be strong and just ignored them. Then I wasn’t here right now..

 

 

I start walking now, I was in my little park.

I usually come to here when I feel sad or alone. But now I just was sitting here to think, should I do it? Or shouldn’t I ?

I would feel much happier, and I just wouldn’t be a bother anymore..

I start walking faster, I want this to be done..

I hate myself and I hate this fucking world.

I wouldn’t even fit in once..

I hate it, I hate me, I hate myself…

When I’m almost at my point where I need to be, I start to walk slowly again..

I see Niall in front of my eyes. I see Liam and everything comes back, all those perfect memories. Just all away with one stupid kiss.

Again, I hate myself.

I start cutting like a small month ago, I knew that it wouldn’t be anything.

I thought with cutting that it would be better, I thought things wrong.

I did it and I had pain, but I know I deserve that pain.

So I kept doing it, hoping that after one cut something would be better.. I knew it wasn’t gonna happen, but I kept trying it over and over again..

With thinking on it I lift op my sleeve and I see all the cuts on my arms..

But then I think of my legs, thighs..

Also full of those.

A tear slips out of my eye..

I am here, I need to be here.

I hear cars, and more tears stream down my face..

I walk into the middle of the street. And then I climb up the celling.

I know it, I’m sure of it..

Zayn Jawaad Malik is gonna commit suicide right now..

I look right in front of me and try to focus me, after this I’m gonna be happy. I’m gonna be free, I need to leave the past behind me..

I close my eyes for a second, cars chasing by.

Under me next to me..

Everywhere, I will be dead with in a second.

Finely ready to go..

My eyes still close and I feel myself getting lighter, as light as a little feather..

Just when I wanna fall, all the memories of my past go through my mind..

I lose grip of the celling and I’m ready to fall..

Goodbye world

My hands lose the celling and I start to move, but just on that moment I feel two strong hands on my torso.

Pulling me over the celling again..

I open my eyes slowly, feeling I lay down on something and I look up.

A pair of beautiful brown eyes look right in mine..

Demi…

 

 

 

  

 

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