I wouldn't blame the judge if he decides to put me in jail. For starters, I survived when my girlfriend didn't. The wreck could in fact have been my fault, even though mum has been telling me since the day I woke up, lost and confused in the hospital bed that its not. Also being put in jail wouldn't make too big of a difference. Sure my food supply would be cut and the quality would be worse, but id be just as lonely as I am free. I know I've only been here over night and they didn't even put my in an actual cell since I've only got until tomorrow until I'm taken to court so I'm able to find my true destiny, but Since I've been here I have refused to sleep. I sat up thinking all night, how stupid must I be to really and truly believe that I, Harry Styles, had some shot at a normal life? Of course I did before, but no one knows how bad one simple mistake can screw you up until it happens.
"Harry styles you have a guest" A female speaks. She has on high heals an a blue skirt down to her knees and a formal jacket to match it. Just as soon as she walks away, in walks my mother and father looking towards the ground.
"Oh Harry!" My mum runs up to the thick black bars that Separate us and her eyes get glossy. I hate how many times Ive made her cry already. Small lines are etched into her forehead and im sure they are from all the trouble I have managed to conjure up these past weeks taking a toll on her poor body. My father stands back with his hands in his pockets and rocks back and forth in discomfort. From all I've gathered, he doesn't speak much, or maybe he does and is just uncomfortable with his sons change in mind and behaviour. Either way, he is tall and isn't too skinny looking; Im not saying he's fat, just broad and massive in general. I suppose he is who I inherit my height from, I'm about 6 foot although my appearance doesn't give off that I would be much of a fight.
My mum stays staring at me and notices me examining my father. "He's just confused baby, he will warm up. He loves you so much this is all too difficult for him all at once" She nods and whispers low so my father wont hear. Her eyebrows are latched together in an emotion I'm unable to describe. "Tell him hello, he feels excluded. You two were so close baby, I think thats what he needs to hear. You speak to him."
I glance back over at the towering man. His focus is to the ground still and I can only imagine how fast the engines of thought are moving under the bone of his skull. "Hey dad" I nod at him once although he cannot see me while looking at the cheep cracked tile plastered onto the ground. His head snaps to me rather quickly and for the first time I see a sliver of life creep into his features as he strides slowly towards us. His arm connects with the middle of my mums back pulling her lovingly against his rib cage. I stand sort of out of place behind the steal caged area observing such a small gesture that managed to spark a warm feeling within me.
"One more day until your destiny huh, son" Dads voice is deep and monotone. My mum looks up at him her arms wrapped around his waist because thats what she can reach the best, shes quite short and the fact my dad could probably be a good six four doesn't support her case.
I nod and search the floor as if it would tell me the answer ahead of time to cut the anxiety building in my stomach loose. When I don't find what I'm looking for my eyes trail back to his mossy green eyes. "Yes sir, hopefully im free" I smirk, unable to whip up an actual smile with the amount of uncertainty I contain. I don't even know if I actually want to be free anymore.
My parents nod. A guard enters the room announcing that visit time is over and they will need to be escorted immediately. I find it strange that they both leave without a word, hooked together by their hands, Leaving me wanting to hear just one goodbye. No one says a word.
This cage isnt too bad. I find myself laying on the metal bed in the corner taping my knuckles just to hear a noise other than my restless thoughts, they are a sound all too familiar to me and I grow to hate them more and more every time I'm alone. I don't think Lauren will visit me, after all shes only someone I met and drug into a big, muddy mess. She probably doesn't appreciate me too much at this time and could care less whether I end in jail or even if somehow they decided its just best to kill me on spot. I mattered to keep her company at the time but something possesses me to believe that she will never care for me as an equal person. No one will. Maybe I'll get a visit from someone important instead, like Ethan.
I pass time by tracing my finger over the dusty floor creating pictures that are hard to make out since all I have is my finger and a dim light. The guard glances at me every few minutes, as if he suspects im drawing an escape route and am about to test out my theories right in front of him. He has to be stupid to think I would, I don't know the slightest bit about where I am or how I could possibly leave.
Within only a few hours the young girl who has been giving me my meals brings in my dinner. She is beautiful with long dark black hair and green eyes that almost blend grey. Her skin is pale and looks smooth to the touch and it holds a very pleasant scent. I look up at her and stand to my feet taking the tray into my scarred hands thanking her quietly. She usually leaves quickly not making eye contact but this time she sits on the edge of the so called bed in my cell and looks up at me as if shes in deep thought.
"Im sorry this happened" She whispers trying to hold back tears brimming her eyes. I sit on the metal next to her, my eyebrows are knitted together and I pull my bottom lip between my teeth. Im not sure what shes getting at, for all I know she could be talking about the milk spilt on my tray. "I have been to school with you since we were young. I cant say we were good friends because we weren't, I was rude to you and to Jenny. I know now that I shouldn't have been, now that its too late. You were loud or obnoxious. Just foolishly in love at such a young age and I was devilishly jealous. Who wasn't? Youre handsome and sweet and she was absolutely dazzling. I-" of course shes talking about what I hate the most.
"Its okay" I warn her to stop. her jaw hinges shut and she nods. "I cant hold a grudge over someone I don't know." Its true, shes done nothing to me that I can remember.
The pretty girl sits in thought then pulls all of her thick hair to one shoulder then drops it carelessly. "Im sorry the food here is so terrible." she laughs , Im thankful shes changing the subject now. "I don't like giving it out but when I have nothing else to do they put me on meal duty." I cant argue with her because the food really is shit. For lunch I had semi cold mashed potatoes with green beans and fatty chicken that tasted like if plastic and rubber had a child would. I ate the mashed potatoes simply because I am hungry and wasn't about to eat the fake meat or slimy greens. On my tray now is a bowl of what looks like soup and crackers on the side. Why milk was my drink I cannot put together but I would never question it, I'm here because I'm in trouble.
"I went to Jenny's funeral but I didn't see you there, I didn't feel it was my place to ask for you though" I wish she would shut up now, I remember my mum telling me about her funeral when I asked. I was in a coma still and couldn't be there obviously. Even if I were awake I have a feeling that no one would have taken me, sure her immediate family is fine with me but that doesn't mean no one else is furious.
I clear my throat and brake a cracker in half to put into my mouth. "Uh I was unconscious" I mumble crunching on the dry food. Now id really like for her to leave, it doesn't surprise me when she makes herself comfortable by pulling her knees to her chest instead.
"Oh my God I'm sorry!" she gasps with her shinning eyes filled with a tremendous amount of sorrow. I don't want her nor anyone to feel sorry for me, its my fault I'm here in this situation, why doesn't anyone understand that? Instead of answering her verbally I just shake my head and focus on my palms. If I speak I'm scared I will end up telling her to leave and she will take it as harsh. Im tired and stressed from what I am being forced to face tomorrow.
"Okay well I better get going, good night Harry" The mystery worker picks herself up from my piece of metal and and forces a smile. Her skinny fingers are laced in her hair flipping it over her shoulder as she steps from the hole in the wall and locks me in once again alone with my imagination.
Im not hungry when she leaves. I wish that I could be locked up somewhere else, it smells weird here and its almost completely silent. The orange jumper they have me in itches at my skin and is crunchy feeling, like they are stale and dirty. You would think wearing a body suit would at least keep a man warm in this stupid ice box but it seems as though it was created to do you no benefit.
I lie down on the cold shiny surface pulling my knees closer to my body than usual to keep my feet from hanging off, I don't have a clue as to what time it is but the philosophy I'm going by is the earlier I go to bed, the earlier this will end, I know it doesn't hold the slightest bit of truth but its enough to get me through the dragging night. Its hard falling asleep to squeaks of mice and rodents or the snores of someone on night duty that has fallen asleep instead of doing his or her job. Someone is in the temporary cell next to me, Ive never seen them but I hear them mumble in their sleep. The voice is raspy and muffled so I really cant tell if its a girl or boy, I cant tell you how many hours I've spent on that mystery, yet I cannot find the answer. They don't get visitors or conversations with anyone really. I spend a good two hours probably imagining just who the person could be before my vision is blinded by my eyelids.
"Harry!" A girly whisper flows through the room and something hits my back causing me to roll over and open just one eye to get a look. Lauren is standing with her hands on the bars smiling big and she lets out a giggle. I rub my head and sit up squinting both eyes and yawn.
"What are you doing here" I whisper back searching for a clock but one doesn't appear in my view. Lauren shrugs and smiles even more wildly. One of her arms is now extended from behind the wall so it is out of my vision and I cannot tell what shes holding. "What do you have there?" I point to her arm and she looks over towards where its held out and she giggles an empty laugh.
"A friend" She laughs again dragging out the friend as her shoulders and arms sway. She bites her lip and keeps eye contact with me the entire time. Why did Lauren come here randomly with a friend while I was sleeping? What time is it and why is she so happy? Maybe its because of my court date today?
"Can I see?" I question nosily trying to peek my head around the corner.
She looks again towards her friend and nods shaking her arm slightly. "Its okay" she assures. "He wont hurt you! That was an accident!" Who is her friend so scared of? How could anyone hurt her by me just seeing her? Lauren steps over for her friend to stand beside her. As soon as I see her I'm backing up and shaking my head. A short blonde girl is holding her hand, her face and head is cut up. Skin dangling from huge wounds and gashes. The white shirt and blue jeans she has on are ripped and stained a deep red, actually drenched in a deep red. I rub my eyes again and again as I push myself against the wall my stomach is twisting I feel like I'm about to puke. "Its Jenny!" Lauren laughs at me. Jenny's hair is matted with blood and she is staring with no emotion.
"Go away" I whisper closing my eyes tightly. My fists are clinched so tight I can feel the pulse in them and I cant move.
"Harry" Jenny hisses at me. My eyes squeeze tighter, I feel the warm wetness forming in them yet again.
"Go away" I speak louder hoping and praying I can push myself back so hard I'll either disappear or break through the wall. They both spit my name over and over clouding every corner of my mind with the haunting noise mixed with the equally as horrific image of Jenny. "Go away!" I scream so loudly I feel my own throat vibrate and rub itself raw.
When I open my eyes Im laying back on make shift bed, its coated in a thin layer of either sweat or tears, maybe even both. I glance towards the gate and no one is there, no Lauren nor Jenny, Not even a guard is planted at the desk.