My breathing quickens yet again when I hear a giggle from somewhere in the room. My eyes are fixed open wide, trying to see as much as possible but my attempt fails due to the extreme darkness. I stay quiet and cower into the baggy jumpsuit using it as a blanket and hiding under it like a scared kid hiding from a monster. For a few minutes it stays quiet. Maybe you are just hearing things Harry, you're fine. Don't act like a baby damn, it was only a dream. Not fully trusting myself in that though, I stay tucked away in the comforting stench of the dirty cloth.
"Hello?" A girls voice sings from somewhere nearby and the tone echoes off of the cement and stone walls. I tense and stay as still as possible, If im not able to see even my own hand infront of me then neither should the person here. I shouldnt be scared. Im not the only one in the few cells lined up against the wall, I know that, so maybe they've brought someone new in, someone a bit more talkative than my other company.
"Who are you" I barely whisper through the massive clothing Im buried in still. I mentally beat myself up for being this way, I cry when its unnecessary to do so a lot and I feel helpless. Im a wimp who is scared of never being viewed as normal because a mistake of my past that I can only remember by the life I live while I'm asleep. Even with the people that Im sure do love me I can hear the softness in their voice, a childish tone that sends chills down my aching spine. The voice girls use when they coo to a baby or puppy.
The person never answers. I choose not to believe that Im going crazy, Im positive she is someone who shares the hallway with me, I probably was screaming and awoke her from her shallow sleep. I cant imagine anyone sleeping well in a place smelling of must and Cobb webs, you'd be surprised the scent they let off when theres so many of them that the cement cells look cluttered. My eyelids threaten to seal shut but I know that even if I allow them to then I'll only be fuelling myself with false hope because my nightmare will return.
The night drags on for what could be an entire century or two, I shiver under the dusty vent blowing onto the bent metal I'm perched on. Until now I've never noticed how much I enjoy company of any sort, someone to talk to would be nice to have because without it I feel left in an untrustworthy tornado of thoughts. Finally, footsteps echo from down the hall and I'm not surprised to feel my head perk up and watch what is coming. The same man who takes day shifts sitting at the dark brown desk in the corner with a usual bag of donuts or some sort of treats on top of it as he eats them slowly almost just to see us drool for the tasteful food stops in front of the gloominess of my cell. I make sure to back up as he shoves a key into the lock and swings a small section of bars open.
"Come on Styles" his husky voice instructs. Im unaware of the time, all Im sure of is that Im tired and about ready to be welcomed back into my home. I follow the stalky man down winding hallways and we end up in a room lined with showers and no curtains. A bar of soap is set on a bench in each one and I see no towels either. "You have five minutes for a shower, I'll be in the hall" He instructs clearly. I nod and hastily unzip the orange cloth allowing it to fall into a pool around my ankles. Chills cover my arms and collar bone rippling down to my chest next as the air feels even colder on my bare skin. I waste no time to step into the shower and turn the water on as warm as it will go, Im thankful that I'm so cold because the contrast of the room temperature water makes it feel twice as warm. A sigh of relief spills from my parted lips as I close my eyes and rub the soap onto my hands and begin washing my body with them lathering myself well. Theres no shampoo so I take what I have and rinse the long hair on top of my head with body soap and wash it out quickly. It doesn't smell as great as the soap at home does, its sort of misshapen and yellow looking but it does the job all the same. My time goes faster than I had wished because the waiting man calls for me to come on. I step out of the semi warm water and am immediately sad and uncomfortable again. A stack of my clothes that I came here in is on one of the sinks next to the exit, I still don't see a towel so I shake off the best I can and slip my clothes back on. When I reunite with my guard he takes my boney elbow into his large meaty hand and drags me down the hall. I follow willingly listening to chains rattle and people whisper to each other, they are ghostly and haunting sounds making the air feel thick and erie. We walk for only two minutes or so until I'm let into an open area that copies the image of a waiting room in a hospital minus the sick and hurt patients. Im told to sit quietly because my ride will be here soon so I do just as I'm told, I hope that if I'm good enough I'll have better chances of surviving today.
My hair drips droplets of cold water onto my face and clothes as I sit hunched over in a hard plastic chair and patiently wait to be taken to court. Magazines are placed randomly on tables in various areas scattered around the room. One stands out to me, it has on the cover a pregnancy and parenting add, its ironic to see a smiling couple, the man happy and touching at his beautiful wives swollen belly. They look so peaceful an perfect when in reality, this place is the opposite. Innocent people are cooped up in the deepest darkest corners of hell, sure people who actually deserve to be put away from the rest of society are here but as soon as your put in any sort of confinement you automatically have a label on you even being the furthest thing from guilty.
After ten minutes of drowning in my self pity two cops come through the double doors on the far wall and make their way to me without asking my name, of course they know me, who doesn't? Im taken by my arms once again out of the doors and to a dark car. The sun burns my eyes causing me to squint and look at anything but the alluring morning sky. Both guards have sunglasses leaving me being the only one suffering from the intimidating light.
The ride is long and nerve raking. My stomach is slowly filling with butterflies that dance and tickle the lining if my insides. The smell of new car messes with my head and makes me nauseous along with all the possibilities that could take place today. The muscular males talk quietly laughing loudly at each other every once in a while, im sure I look as if im going to puke in the back. When we reach the big building I feel like im glued to my seat and I wont be able to move. One police opens my door giving me just enough time to snake myself out of the short opening. No doubt they take me by my arms and haul me into the building. They treat me as if I'm going to run, where would I go and what would I do? Punishment only gets worse from here right? We enter a large, expensive looking building, the carpet is covered by a giant rug that has gold designs on it. A chandelier is hanging up tall and its so big that I wouldn't doubt it to fall down at any given moment. The two men take me down a few hallways into a giant room with at least twenty rows of seats on the left and right. In the front of the room is two stands on either side and then one huge, magnificent looking desk right in the middle. It looks to be that Im the last one here. Most of the rows are filled with a few people in them holding note pads and journals. I first spot my mum and dad in the front row directly behind the stand that my guards are walking me to, beside them is Ethan and an old lady. She looks very familiar but I cant quite put my finger on who she is. When Im behind my stand I realise another group at the opposite stand. Jenny's sister is sitting on the bench next to her parents, a small frown is pressed onto her features while the grown ups beside her have faces of stone almost. I don't recognise who the women is standing by the stand is but I have a feeling that I will soon enough.
The judge slams her mallet into her desk twice marking the start of our argument. The person fighting against me claims to be Jenny's aunt. She wants me put in jail for murder because apparently Im the most inconsiderate, absent minded, worthless, piece of shit whom shes ever laid eyes on. A fire sparks inside of me from those words. Im lit up on the inside and bubbling just below the surface. Who the fuck do you think you are to call me such harsh words? Im a human being too just like your fucking niece was. When I look back my dad has his jaw and palms clinched tight, his knuckles are white and his jaw bone is prominent under his flesh. The image of him right now is how I always look, maybe this is why I run people away. I hear gasps from our small audience as she insults me and calls me a villain for my evil doing. Thank God the judge shuts her up. She shakes her head and scold Jenny's family member for using foul language in her room.
"Do you have anything to say in defence Harry?" The judges eyes hold a sympathetic concern, Maybe I've earned a little respect from her by taking those cruel words without fighting back and causing a scene.
I stop to think for a minute, I have to say something. "I don't know Jenny, I would love to be able to meet her again and I know Im the one who ruined both of our lives, quite literally, but all I can do is say Im sorry. I can honestly say I know less than half of the people here today." My eyes scan the room "But I cant defend myself, all I can say is that Ive been told the wreck was unpreventable for me." The room pulses in a thoughtful silence for a moment. Not one person talks as everyone thinks about what I said. Most people are probably shocked that I owned up to it and didn't say that I wasn't the one who killed her, the truth is that I have no idea who did do it, all I can do is hope and pray that I didn't.
The superior woman nods in acceptance to my words. She seems pleased with what I had to say for myself. She pulls out a piece of paper from the large stack on her wooden work place.
"Mr. Styles was pulled from the car away from the scene with a beat but not conscious. He was pronounced in a coma and had stayed that way for two weeks correct?" She reads off the paper then looks through her thin brows over her reading lenses towards my parents. They nod and my mom speaks up.
"Yes ma'am" She looks as if shes living everything all over again.
Our judge nods thanking her gratefully then continues. "Jennifer Anne Salt was pronounced dead at the scene however. Jennifer's aunt claims Harry to be in charge making him responsible for her death. Her mother father and sister disagree with this statement and have excepted Mr. Styles yet again into their hearts." I look over at Jenny's family, their faces are sorrowful but a small smile plays on her mums face appreciating the clarification of their stance in this gathering. "Harry styles was diagnosed with damage to multiple parts of the brain, the worst being his temporal lobe. Its a miracle he was able to escape with no broken bones besides his skull. Wounds covered Styles but nothing that could heal past a scar." I scan my hands and arms counting every scar my eyes come across. Twenty-Three. Thats my total when Im done, I flinch as I notice the true ugliness of my beaten arms.
Ive been zoned out for a good while now. No one has felt the need to raise their voice except Jennys aunt who I can feel glaring at me while I look down and ignore the jumbled threats. My mum has taken the stand beside me and Is protesting the fact that I had no choice but to collide with the oncoming traffic.
"Mr. Styles" A mature voice breaks my thoughts. I look up at the small fragile judge at her stand. "Do you have anything to add?" Her face is tough and strong, I continue to stare emotionless. My lips part but the words I want to say don't come, and now I'm not sure what I was going to say. I shake my head and look down. I feel as if I could collapse from the pressure building in my gut piling up to my throat. My mum grips my hand with hers allowing me to feel the trembling of her limbs as she attempts to look strong for me, her son. My destiny maker looks at everyone in the room at least once before breathing in and shuffling through her papers, if I didn't know any better id say the woman was enjoying us shake in fear. She lets out a long sigh and smiles warmly towards my mum and I.
"Harry Edward Styles has been found not guilty." My brain is left to sort through the words multiple times over before I understand, "Not guilty" I repeat quietly before smiling wider than I have in a while now. My mom takes me into her arms within seconds and cries into my shoulder. Ethan and my dads voices can be heard laughing and cheering quietly amongst themselves as I chuckle in shock. My mum hands me my phone and laughs before hugging me again then taking my hand.
"Lets go" Ethan shouts draping his arm over my shoulder patting it once. Everyone walks in front of me leaving me walking slowly behind. Im happy to get out but guilt is still consuming my insides eating them whole. The old woman that was on the bench caught up to my lazy pace and she placed her hand on my back comfortably.
"You deserve to be free Harry, your thoughts should be prison enough" My eyebrows pull together at her statement and she smiles "Ive always had the most thoughtful grandson, so considerate" My heart pounds. My grandmother is talking to me right now and I had no idea who she was, my feelings drag as I become upset with myself for not knowing, I now remember her from the small restaurant. She has so kindly handed me my fries and milk and I didnt do the slightest thing to show respect. My lean muscular arms squeeze her frail body against mine as I work to push my face against the top of your head.
"Im so sorry grandmum" I whisper holding her tighter sure not to hurt her. She stays quiet and pulls away.
"Youve done nothing but good in your life Harry, Im the one to be sorry" Her eyes are a pale blue and her hair is drained with colour leaving it white. She is short and skinny but has a small dimple just as I do. "Lets catch up with the others" She smiles weakly walking me back to my family and friend.
The ride home has a brighter emotion blanketing it. I sit in silence listing the differences of my ride to the awful building compared to this one as Im returning to my flat. My dad and mum are talking about anything and everything, from their cat back home to the food they will make for themselves tonight. My grandma and Ethan both drove separately but Ethan promised he and Talia would visit me tonight so we will be able to catch up. I pull my phone out of my pocket and read the notifications that are lined up on my lock screen. Close to the bottom is one message from Lauren that reads. 'I have faith that you've done nothing terrible and will be found innocent on wednesday, as much as Id love to be there for support, I may not. Text me as soon as you can." My stomach turns. Theres no possible way that I like Lauren any more than a friend, shes good company but Im afraid if we were to be anything more the results could ruin our friendship and I would never want that. I text her back stating that I was indeed found not guilty and that she could come to my house now if she would like to see Ethan and Talia also.
The car pulls into the parking lot of my flat and I thank my parents for the ride and promise them we will be able to hang out tomorrow. I pull my feet up the flight of stairs knocking myself out of breath quickly. Ive become really out of shape I should probably go to the gym sometime.
"Hey Harry! Wow I didnt know you lived here!" A girly voice catches my attention moving closer with the body it belongs to. Virginia flips her red hair behind her shoulder and giggles. Shit not this again.
"Yeah same to you" I reply while looking for my key on my key ring. She steps closer and smiles as I find it and shove the object into my lock. I thought I would be able to just walk into my home and forget she lives across the hallway but, like always, my thoughts are proven wrong.
"May I come in?" She bites her lip and does her best attempt at flirting the way girls do when they think they are being cute but just sound like a squirrel who has just found a nut. I shrug my shoulders but before I can finish she is inside my house. My head aches with unspoken words as she pulls me towards her so shes pinned against my tensed muscles that are sculpted under my skin and the white wall of my clean home. My body scrambles to back up but her fingers have grasped pieces of my clothing as if they are scared ill get away and run, run so far away that ill fall off of the face of the planet. My phone buzzes in my pants and we both hear it but I'm unable to do anything, her lips crash into mine as she moans slightly. Im not kissing back, in fact I'm using everything I can to move away but her hunger for me is obvious. A knock at my door rattles through my walls but it doesn't stop Virginia from trying to get her way with me. Her hands slip from my shoulders to my lower back, my hands are on the wall as an attempt to push my assaulted body away. I hear a gasp come from behind me and I immediately know someone has walked in. The red head grows a small smirk from under me. "Hey Lauren" She laughs into my neck.