"That was...interesting," Jamie commented after we ended Na Na Na.
"Interesting?" Liam repeated, skeptically.
"Oh I don't mean it was horrible. It was good," she clarified. "I've just never heard anything like that. Or at least, I don't remember," she joked. "Your voices are beautiful individually and sound terrific together," she complimented, smiling sweetly at me.
"Yeah much better than The Wanted," Lou jeered, snickering.
"Who's wanted?" she questioned, perplexed.
"The Wanted was another band. They disbanded recently. Lou got into a spat with one of the members," Niall explained as she nodded earnestly, glimpsing at Louis.
"Well, since we're on the topic of the wanted,"Zayn interjected, breaking the silence, "have you ordered the pizzas we wanted?"
Niall grins sheepishly at us as he grabs the phone off the table, punching in digits as he made his way to the kitchen for some privacy and silence since Louis and Liam had started playing FIFA 2014 and were bickering and shouting at each othef.
Meanwhile, I too craved some privacy. Being around Jamie without glancing at her every few minutes was harder than previously assumed.
"I'm going to take a walk," I informed the rest, heading towards the door.
"Mind if I tag along?" Jamie asked, getting out of her seat.
I looked at Zayn who raised his eyebrows at me.
I ran my fingers through my hair and shook it up a little. "Sure."
Smiling happily, Jamie followed me out of the flat and walked beside me along the pavement, around the flat. I enjoyed and appreciated the silence-it gave me time to think. We came to a stop when we reached an area that was sparsely covered in grass but was relatively isolated. Jamie sat down, her chin resting on her knees, her arms hugging her legs.
"So how long have you boys been together?" she asked inquisitively.
"Well, it's a long story," I told her, looking into her eyes briefly, unable to prevent the cheesy smile that appears every time I look at her. But she belongs to Niall. Always has. I averted my gaze up into the sky which was dark and seemed endless.
"I'm not exactly planning to go off anytime soon," she pointed out, shifting closer, looking at me expectantly. Perhaps, in Niall's efforts to win her love, he forgot to mention the band's humble beginnings.
How could I refuse?
And so, I narrated the whole experience of how One Direction was formed and she nodded along, laughing and gasping when she found the story humorous or exciting.
"Amazing," she gasped as I finished, her eyes sparkling under the moonlight. I realised we'd been out for quite a while.
"Yeah. But I think that's enough storytelling for today. We should be getting back to the fellas," I indicated, shifting away slowly.
"Hold on," she refused as her hand shot out to grab mine. The skin contact had us both speechless for a while as our eyes met. Coming to my senses, I slowly retracted my hand and clasped it with my other one and placed my hands in my lap. Yet, it was difficult to ignore the tingling sensation that her touch left.
"I want to know more. Niall and I...what were we like?"
I shifted my eyes to my hands before looking up at her again. "You two lovebirds were inseparable. It was clear you were both mad for each other. When you two were in the same room, you could barely keep your hands off each other. And even when there were other people in the room, the intensity and chemistry between you two were, quite frankly, suffocating," I chuckled. "And I mean this in the best way possible. Nothing phased your love. Whatever threatened to destroy you two, Niall and you would always overcome the obstacles together and emerge stronger than before. It's love anyone would want."
Her lips were pulled by the sides into a wide smile, her cheeks were flushed a pretty pink and her eyelashes fluttered against her cheeks. She combed her hair with her fingers, remaining silent for a moment as her head turned up to the sky. I studied her features carefully, the smooth curve of her neck, the gentle hook of her nose, her soft, pink lips, where the lower lip was bigger than the upper lip but still looked so beautiful.
"Before Niall, was there anyone else?"
"No," my mind flashed back briefly to how and where we found her. "Not to my knowledge."
She pursed her lips. "What about...us?"
"Did anything happen between us? Maybe it's just me but I feel as if you're trying to hide something from me. I may be wrong and forgive me for being forward about it but I'm just trying to learn as much as I possibly can about myself before the accident," she continued, her eyes still on me.
My instincts were telling me avoid the subject, to leave. She was Niall's and I had no right to interfere because of my personal desires.
"We kissed," I blurted out before I could control myself. My heart and my mind seemed to be very unsynchronised today. "A very simple, rushed kiss. I made the move. It was a spur of the moment and it was selfish and rude of me."
"Did you regret it?" She inched closer, trying to read my eyes.
I gazed into her eyes. "Yes."
She looked down.
"Only because I should have kissed you...sooner. And I should have given a proper kiss," I mumbled.
She looked up at me again, her eyes glassy, staring intensely into mine.
She leaned in further, her lips brushing mine as she spoke.
"I may not remember who I was before. And I may not know who I am now. But I do know what I want." I could feel her warm breath as she whispered against my lips. I didn't move an inch.
I had to swallow to speak because my mouth was so dry. I cursed at myself mentally for not eating a mint.
"I can't. Niall..."
"If Niall loves me as much as you say he does," she interrupts me, her proximity already driving me mad. "He would respect my decisions. And he would respect who I wanted to kiss me. Even if it wasn't him."
I stayed completely still, barely breathing. Jamie's lips were slightly apart, I could feel them barely millimeters away from mine, hovering, waiting to be kissed.
Could I live with myself knowing that I'd betrayed my best friend's trust?