The next morning when I woke up Emma was still attached to my side, her hair everywhere and a slight grin on her face. She must be having a good dream. Just as I smiled a sharp pain blasted in my head and my stomach twisted.
"Urgh....wow that really hurts. Now I know what they mean about hangovers." I groaned and slowly tried to pry Emma's restriction on my small form, once she was removed she groaned but rolled over and began snoring once again. I climbed off the bed and made my way down the hall to the bathroom, the house was eerily silent as if not one person was home. Once I brushed my teeth the door opened to reveal Cory, "Oh hey Cory what's up?"
He grimaced, "Kitchen. I'd hurry if I were you."
I instantly knew what he was talking about, taking a deep breath my body led me through the halls and everything I passed made my stomach ache. The hard wood floors were freezing cold underneath my feet, the pictures of my family's smiles made me feel as if they were mocking me, and the smell of coffee hit my nose as I neared the kitchen. When mum had coffee that meant one of two things, 1. She worked late or has to go to work early and 2. She was very upset.
It was Saturday and she never worked on the weekends, so that only left one thing, "Oh God." Once at the door of the kitchen I hesitated not wanting to walk in and take whatever my mother wanted to throw at me, but as if she could feel my presence she cleared her throat.
"Jenna would you come in here."
Crap, gulping I allowed my feet to enter the kitchen where I saw my mother at our island sipping at her coffee, her dark auburn hair up in a ponytail and her glasses up on her nose all the way. Her eyes found my small form tight against the wall and she closed her eyes.
"Come sit down Jenna we have to talk." Doing as she said I took the seat across from her but she didn't look me in the eyes but continued speaking, "I'm very disappointed in you and your sister."
"No I don't think you do." She sipped her coffee and sighed, "I know last night wasn't your fault, I know you're easily influenced and Emma always has this thing over you and it's just..."
"Emma didn't influence me." I shot back but she keep going.
"Jenna you're a good girl, you can graduate high school top your class, go to a good medical school, get married, have kids, and a wonderful life." Her words played in my head not able to fully understand.
"What are you getting at mum?"
"Jenna I have more hope that you will make something of yourself....."
I glared at her, "What about Emma?"
"Your sister has no hope she's spent her whole life doing foolish things and being reckless, but you still have a chance." Her smile seemed real but made me feel uncomfortable, maybe even terrified.
"I don't want to go to medical school, I don't want good the life the way you see it. I want the life I picture for myself, and not the one you want me to live." My breath was coming out in pants after I finished my sentence.
She just sighed, "I can see that she is rubbing off on you, you've never argued with me before."
"I've argued you just never listen." I whispered and this time she looked me in the eye, she put down her coffee and stared at me.
"You will of course be punished no matter who's fault it was" she said completely ignoring my last comment, "I've already given your sister her punishment."
"By telling her she couldn't see Tony anymore?" I questioned.
"I told her it would be best if she didn't stay with him." She shot back.
"By trying to force her to break up with him?" I challenged. Her eyes narrowed and shook her head as if not caring about my shot at an argument.
"As your punishment I'm confiscating your laptop and....." I leaped up from my seat and she jumped.
"You are not taking my laptop I need it for my writing!!"
She shook her head and walked over to the sink starting to wash dishes, "Waste of time writing it will get you no where, now go wake your sister."
"I'm not changing my mind Jenna, now go wake up your sister it's already eleven she needs to get up." Her back to me she kept washing dishes but I didn't move, "Now Jenna."
"I'm not going to go wake her up."
She stiffened, "And why is that Jenna?"
Because you can't just ignore this subject by changing it, "Because..."
"I'm already awake you old bag." We both turned to see Emma strolling into the kitchen and to the refrigerator, she pulled out the ginger ale and poured herself a glass. As she gulped it we just watched her, she poured another glass and handed it to me, "Well go on it'll help with your hangover."
Listening I began to drink and my mother shook her head again, "If you two hadn't gone out last night she wouldn't have to be nursing a hangover."
"Whatever it happened get over it." Emma shrugged and went to lay on the couch, I followed and my mother behind me. I sat right next to her, she rested her head on my left thigh her blue eyes gazing out in space before they met mine. Her eyes narrowed and she sat up, "What's wrong Jenna?"
"Mum is taking my laptop away."
Her eyes settled on my mother, "You can't take her laptop away."
"It's her punishment just as you have yours."
"You mean your forbiddance of me dating Tony?"
Mum nodded, "Precisely."
"You can't do that."
"I'm your mother and I will do what I want." Mum said and went to grab her bag and keys.
"I'm fifteen and I could leave if I wanted to." Emma challenged which made my stomach turn.
"Then please do." Mum agreed and she walked to the door, 'I'm going to the gym I'll be gone a while, feed your brother and don't be reckless. Emma."
"I'm always reckless." She whispered holding my hand.
"Well be responsible for once in your life." My mum said as she closed the door, Emma watched the door and waited until the sound of our mum's car was gone and once it was she let out a deafening heartbreaking shriek. It rang in my ears making my heart hurt, she stopped and started coughing as she dropped to her knees. There she sat her eyes puffy, tears rolling down her face, and her small form surrounded by her dark black hair. I walked over to her side and held her tight but she wiped her eyes and smiled at me.
"I'm okay" she whispered, "I just really needed to let that out."
I nodded and she stood up, I thought about what to say but instead got an idea. I went over to our pantry pulling out popcorn, chocolate frosting, and chocolate syrup. I placed that on the island and went to the fridge, Emma watched my every step and action. At the fridge I pulled out the three tubs of Ben & Jerry's ice cream which were mine and Emma's, mum and Cory didn't liked Ben and Jerry's while Dad was lactose intolerant.
"What are you doing?" Emma questioned as my hands filled with peanut butter, pickles, whipped cream, and a jar of cherries. The popcorn in the microwave bowls and spoons on the island, and everything I had pulled out all laid out on the coffee table in front of Emma, "Are you going to keep ignoring me?"
"No I'm going to go get the popcorn pick out some movies you want to watch, we're having a girls movie day in." I said and she nodded walking over to the movie rack, the microwave dinged and I put the popcorn into a bowl. Back in the living room I saw the movies Emma had pulled out, The Virgin Suicides, A walk to Remember, Kick Ass, The Little Mermaid, and all our season sets of Skins.
She smiled, "Thank you."
Just as we sat down and started watching A walk to remember Cory walked in with a grim look on his face, "Urgh what's with you two watching A walk to remember all the time?"
I smiled and Emma giggled, "Come watch with us."
"Nah I'm okay."
"We have whipped cream." I teased and raced over leaping on the couch as Emma swirled the contents into his mouth. We spent all day watching movies and eating junk food, Emma seemed so full of life and so happy it seemed as if she was at peace. But for some reason I'd look at her as she smiled and something told me that wasn't good, I didn't understand how Emma being super happy was a bad thing. She had a rough night and had gotten into two fights with my mother, she deserved to be happy but there was just a feeling I couldn't shake.
It was late around nine when Cory sleepily stumbled to bed, and me and Emma cleaned up putting away all of the junk food and the pizza we ordered. Emma had just bit into a pickle and I grabbed the peanut butter dipping a pickle in, "Want some?"
"Definitely." She dipped the pickle and smiled as she bit it, people found us strange when we said that we eat pickles with peanut butter on it. It's delicious to us, "Jenna?"
She took another bite and closed her eyes, "If something were to ever happen to me can I trust you would take care of the family?"
I was taken back by her question, "Why would you ask that?"
"It was jus a question you know how virgin suicides and A Walk to Remember get to me." She grinned.
"Yeah I guess, but I would never let anything happen to you Emma."
"Jenna you're the younger one I'm supposed to take care of you."
I chuckled, "You were born two minutes before me what ever, but of course I would look after the family."
She looked out the window at the dark night only illuminated by the stars and moon, "Good."
"But Emma if anything would ever happen to you I'd find out who did it, or if you vanished one day I would never stop looking for you." This made her freeze and look at me, her eyes bore into my soul and she could see I was telling the truth, this made her grip me in a tight hug and squeezing me tight. This made me confused but I instantly squeezed her back.
"I love you Jenna."
"I love you too Emma."
"Promise me you'll always find me no matter what."
"I promise." I thought this was just one of me and Emma's many loving twin moments but no, this was Emma's way of saying something she couldn't bring herself to say.
Creak Creak. Urgh my mother really needs to stop coming home late.
Creak, I'm trying to sleep.
Creak Creak Creak. What in the hell is that!?
"Bloody hell stupid creaky floor boards!" A voice whispered angrily, I was awake now so I might as well open my eyes. When they opened I was facing the wall, I turned slowly to the left and saw a dark figure moving around the room opening drawers and throwing things onto Emma's bed. Just as they turned I saw the tight curls that spun as they turned, Emma.
"Emma what are you doing?" I croaked out. She gripped her chest and jumped in fright, I watched as she panted and looked at me.
"Jenna what are you doing up?" She asked.
"I asked you first."
She hesitated and sat down on her bed, "I'm leaving Jenna."
"Stop playing around Emms." I laughed but she sat there silently, I dropped my smile and looked at her form in the dark. Now that my eyes were adjusted I could see she had on her jacket and sneakers, behind her sat a bag clothes hanging out the side and a pair of shoes right next to it. My eyes searched her side of the room and saw that it was bare, all of her stuff gone. The drawers hung open nothing inside but air and emptiness, her bed sheet was gone and so were the pictures that used to hang on the walls surrounding her bed.
"Emma what's going on?" My voice shook and she reached up to wipe her eyes.
"I'm leaving Jenna, I'm going away. Tonight."
My heart sank and the room felt as if it were spinning, "No." I almost yelled but she covered my mouth.
"Jenna hush please shh, you're going to wake them up and I really don't need them to find out about this Jenna please. Are you going to be quiet?" She whispered her ocean blue eyes on mine, slowly I nodded and she let go.
"Why are you leaving?"
She looked at me and quickly looked away, "Because I have to, I can't stay here anymore if I do Jenna bad things will happen."
"What kind of bad things Emma?"
"I can't tell you, let's just say Mum isn't happy with me and after what I've done she never will." She said and By the sound of her voice she was trying to fight back tears.
"What did you do Emma? What is this about what happened back on Halloween or the day after? Emma that was almost two weeks ago she'll get over it, Emms you're making a very rash decision you don't'....." She spun around and I saw the tears in her eyes.
"No Jenna there is no choice, this isn't about either of those nights Jenna this is about something much worse and if I don't leave now things will be much worse. You have to understand that I'm doing this for the benefit of you and this family." She cried.
My eyes stung as tears pricked at their corners, "What did you do?"
She shook her head rapidly, "No we mustn't talk about this, it's best if you don't know."
"Emma please you can't leave.." I whined and she trembled as her tears fell.
"I have to Jenna, I have to."
I didn't care what she had done I wasn't going to let my mother drive her away that easily, "Fine then I'm coming with you."
"No Jenna you have to stay here."
"But why!? I care about you Emma it was supposed to be you and me against the world remember, we were supposed to grow old together, I'm supposed to be your brides maid, you were supposed to be there for my first baby's birth! You can't leave.."
"Jenna I promise you all of that is going to happen, I just have to go away for a while. But I promise you I will come back for you, I'm not going to leave you here I will always come back for you." She smiled as she wiped one of the tears off of my cheek.
"What if you don't come back?"
This made her freeze but she put on a warm smile, "Then keep your promise, find me."
"I will always find you."
I sniffled and she turned away putting away more off her things, I sat back on my bed as she packed away everything she held dear. The teddy bear I had gotten her on our eleventh birthday, a wore out photo album that held every picture she'd ever taken and ones she liked, and the fake lava lamp that she had hid her college fund in.
"You're taking the fund too?"
"Yeah, I'm gonna need it." She spoke softly, just as I was about to respond there was a oft knock at the window making us both jump. The window slid open and in came Tony.
I growled, rushing at him I punched his chest angrily though it didn't seem to faze him. I cried as my fists smacked against his body, "I should have known you would be apart of this you jerk!! Why would you do this you're taking my sister away from me!? You selfish son of a b..."
"Jenna...." Emma pleaded as my eyes found hers, they were flooded with tears and I could see the hurt in her them. I froze and my knees gave out, my body dropped to the ground and her arms circled around me, "Please don't blame him for this, it was my choice. I chose this on my own, he's just here to take me to where I need to go."
"I'm going with her Jenna, I can't let her go out into the world on her own." He whispered apologetically but I didn't want his apology.
"If he gets to come why can't I?"
"Because you have to stay here and hold the tent up." I rolled my eyes at her quoting Sleepover, our favorite movie since we were younger.
More tears rolled down my face as I whispered, "It won't be the same without you."
Her lip started to quiver but she stood up putting the last of her things into her bag, Tony grabbed it from her and went to the window. She looked around the room one last time before wiping her eyes and looking back at me, "Emma.."
She launched at me and we gripped each other tightly, the tears fell and everything around us vanished just focusing on me and my sister. Too soon she pulled away and kissed my forehead, "Remember me."
"Always. Come back for me."
"Find me." We both nodded and she went to the window and climbed out, Tony followed before he could climb out I grabbed his arm.
"Please take care of her."
"I promise I will always take care of her." He whispered. I smiled and he kissed my cheek, "Goodbye Jenna."
"Bye Tony." He grinned and climbed out running to his truck, I watched as they waved to me and drove away. That's when the world came crashing down, I climbed back into bed and sat up staring out the window. She was gone.
With my back against my headboard I watched the window hoping she changed her mind and came back for me, or maybe if she just came back. I didn't know where she went or where she was going.
I didn't know when she'd be back.
If she would come back.