“Mhm I thougghhht I woould find yoou heeree. With him” He pulled his hand out of his pocket and pointed it towards Niall, he was sat on the front door step to Niall’s apartment his legs crossed and his head hanging down into his lap with a massive stench of alcohol the shirt he was wearing was ripped at the sleeve and his neck was covered in red lipstick. “Harry go home, you’re drunk” I stared down at him, “Doo youho knooww... what!? I lovvee you Lucyy andd you’ree heree heeree with hiimm!” Harry managed to make a sentence through his hiccups. “Harry don’t even go there. Can you just go home please?” I placed my hands on my hips staring down at him, it was 11:30 at night and it really didn’t surprise me that he was here and in this state. “Yeah mate, I’ll call you a cab to take you home it’s for the best yeah?” Niall’s Irish accent cut into the debate “Doon’tt youu fucc...kingg caa.ll mee your matee, youu ain’tt my maatee you’ree meessing around wivthh my misses!” Harry’s drunken arm swung about hitting Niall in the legs. A little laugh escaped my lips realising how pathetic he was acting, “Niall go in, I got this” I gave a reassuring smile as Niall entered his apartment leaving me and the drunk that had once been my boyfriend sliding down the front door I sat down next to him. The night sky was pitch black full of clouds hiding away the stars, in the distance police sirens echoed and the sound of cars filled the air. “Harry, you’re drunk, you probably won’t remember this is the morning anyway and if I talk to you about this now you’re going to act like that stubborn twat, you always do when you’re drunk” I looked at the man that sat next to me, he was a complete mess it cut me up so much to see him like this. I loved him, I love him and knowing I’m the reason he’s in this state is just shit. “Look, come in sleep on the sofa, sober up and we’ll talk first thing in the morning” his face lit up at this, like a little kids face does in a candy store and relief washed over me. Pulling him into the apartment he could barely stand, I laid him down on the sofa and covered him with a blanket. Standing in the doorway I watched his chest move up and down – the only thing indicating that he was still alive.
What is it with love? Why does it always blind us? No matter how crap things get, no matter how much shit they put you through, love overpowers everything, all of it. No matter how hard you convince yourself you’re done, the second you see them everything disappears, every bad thing - gone. Exactly what I’m feeling right now. I hate him so much, for everything I want to push him away, scream and shout in his face but I can’t because I want to hold him close to me and tell him he was so stupid to think that I’d actually consider leaving him. He took my heart and broke it in to thousands of pieces but he came back with the superglue. My head is saying one thing and my heart another. Why? Why is everything to do with love complicated and never straight forward?
“You should get some sleep, I’ll sleep on the floor in here” Niall cut the silence, still staring at Harry I opened my mouth but no words came out, was he still breathing?
“Earth to Lucy?” Niall tapped my shoulder trying to gain my attention. “Sorry, he’s just had a lot to drink. You hear about all that shit about teenagers choking on their sick in their sleep and dying. Ergh I don’t even know Niall, he makes me nervous when he drinks and it scares me too... This is all my fault” I replied still watching Harry’s chest move up and down, Niall let out a sigh and I couldn’t help but think he was bored of comforting me for the tenth time today “Luce, babe, this is far from your fault he’s in this state because you left and why did you leave? Because he fucked up” he pulled me in for a hug and I inhaled his scent, my fingers tracing on his back when butterflies exploded in my stomach and it suddenly dawned on my Harry’s not the superglue I need to fix my heart.