Draco Malfoy and the Better-Than-Potter's-Broomstick

The sequel to Draco Malfoy and the Rejected Handshake. Join Draco as he embarks on his hilarious second year at Hogwarts through numerous scrapbook entries. Made for laughs. Enjoy! XD


20. Pros and Cons...

List of pros and cons about the last few days:


PRO mangy granger got turned into some statue thingy (petrified or whatever) so now she’s all frozen and Snotty and Weasel are really upset!!! Popsicle says it’s got something to do with the oh-so-secret message he sent me (if you don’t know what I’m talking about, go back to chapter seven you lazy little unicorn) so maybe she’ll be dead for good!! Crossed fingers!!

CON my hair was so greasy this morning, it got stuck to the pillow. I’ve washed it three times with LittleMissPrincess’s sleek and shiny wonder potion, but still, Pansey might not like me....

PRO Popsicle and the green bowler hat guy (toffee or whatever his name is) actually managed to get Dumby Bumby KICKED OUT!!! *CELEBRATORY UNICORN DANCE* now  Popsy can become headmaster!!

CON even though my broomstick is faaaaaar the bestest in the whole world (way better that Potty’s anyway) we still lost to them. *cries in the corner*

PRO mumsy wumsy (ugh, that is SUCH a lame nickname. I need a new one, eerm, how about... MUMSY WUMSY WOO WOO!! Perfect!! (( the ‘woo woo’ makes all the difference)) ) So, anyway, MUMSY WUMSY WOO WOO sent me the biggest box of Bertie Snots every flavour beans in the world.. I made Scab and Boyle eat all the funny coloured ones, so there weren’t that many left, but ah well.

CON even though the henchmen ate the weird looking ones, I still had one that tasted like Weaselhead’s toenails.

PRO there were muffins after dinner and I ate THREE!! ( don’t tell Pansy or she’ll think I’m fat...)

CON Last week, Scab and Boyle were acting really strangely. They asked me loads of questions and (scary part) I could have sworn they actually started thinking at one point!! Weird. Also, Crabbe’s hair turned ginger at one point. Maybe he’s trying out a new fashion. Ooh is ginger in style now? *Consults copy of witch weekly then runs to purchase a ginger wig.*


CON But afterwards, I'm never allowed to speak to her again..

PRO Although she's going to forget about that promise when I  FORCE HER TO WITH MY AMAZING MIND CONTROL POWERS!!!!!! 

CON However, in order to learn these mystical powers, I lost my special unicorn pants... 

CON To Schnabe Babe. However sexy his hair is, the pants will look nothing on him compared to the awesomeness that is ME!!

CON. Pansy's just seen me sobbing in a corner over the loss of my sacred unicorn underwear... 

CON And now she's laughing at me... 

CON Most of this list is actually cons... 

PRO Which means I must be really pessimistic!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!! Witch Weekly says women  ALWAYS go for the dark, troubled type.

CON Except my hair happens to be naturally blonde. That's not exactly dark - NO, I DID NOT DYE IT. NO. Okay, okay, maybe the highlights aren't exactly natural..... 

PRO But neither is Pansy's laugh. It's all high and squeaky like HEHEHAHAHOOOOOO!!!

PRO. and with my new mind control powers I can convince her to get a better laugh AND that my hair is PINK!!! Oh, haven't you mud bloods heard yet? Pink is the new black! 

PRO And now I have a chance to do my awesome idea dance!!!!!!!!!!!!


So all in all, Munchkins, it's been a pretty weird week! Ah well, Pansey still loves me :D

Stay faaaabulous, unicorns!!! Ciao for now!!


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