First of all, please don't punch me; I know you like to. A lot. And, I mean, it doesn't hurt at all - like, no way did I cry for half an hour when you slapped me over breakfast, aha, no, erm, who does that? - but I would prefer it if you didn't. Fankoo.
Now ansyways, the reason I am writing this totally and utterly unicorntasticus letter, on my special pink flower power paper, is to tell you that I am over you. Like, waaaaaay over. I don't love you anymore. In fact, I don't even like you very much.
Yes Panseycakes, I'm sorry to tell you that you gave missed your chance to date the hottest, smartest, most bootiful unicorn/boy/dark pizza lover EVERRRRR.
AND NO I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT SNOTTY POTTY!!!!!!!
I am - of course - talking about me.
I hope this letter breaks your heart and you cry for, like, hours over this letter, wishing you'd told me how much you love me when you have the chance. And then you'll come snivelling back and I, the heroic Dark Pizza Junior will take you back and we'll go skipping off into the sunset. La di da di da di da! Unicorns, rainbows, flowers and lollipops!
Wait, I should probably rub out that last bit.
So byesees for now (until you come running saying "OMDP Drakeywakey I wuuuuuv woooo").
Lots of hugees and unicorn kisses,
Draco Matilda Malfoy.
P.S. I still love you. Lots
P.P.S. I'm only writing this so you'll realise how much you love me too.
P.P.P.S. Because you do. Deep down.
P.P.P.P.S. Very, very deep down.
P.P.P.P.P.S. Did you notice that my flower power paper was also scented?
P.P.P.P.P.P.S. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx <3 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx