Draco Malfoy and the Better-Than-Potter's-Broomstick

The sequel to Draco Malfoy and the Rejected Handshake. Join Draco as he embarks on his hilarious second year at Hogwarts through numerous scrapbook entries. Made for laughs. Enjoy! XD

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26. Draco's Fictional Novel Competition Entry

Name: Draco Matilda Malfoy. But if this wins, just call me Supreme Majesty

Age: It's rude to ask a unicorn their age. And unfortunately, for some reason I'm not a unicorn. So thirteen.

Title of entry: Droco Malfay and the Rejected Handshake

Entry: 

Once upon a time there was a super smart, super hot, super popular boy called Droco Malfay. He was not at all related to the famous Draco Malfoy, but may have been the Dark Pizza's lesser known Mexican brother. Except that he had a nose. One day Droco Malfay decided to go to Hogwarts School of Hogs and Warts so he could become head boy by his second year and take over the world. At Hogwarts, Droco met Herry Patter, who asked to shake his hand and make friends.

But because Droco was secretly The Lord of All Jelly Babies he said no because Herry Patter didn't like jelly babies. (I know, weird, right?!) So then the Sorting Het, a magical object, sorted Droco into Sylideron, the house where all the awesome people went. His house master was called Savaras Snepo, but everyone called him Mr. Fantastico Hair because his hair was soooooooo cool!! He used to be a muggle magician, and used it to fry eggs and stuff on it because it was sooooooooooooo greasy. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! *Cough* Crucio *Cough* Laugh at my joke! *Cough cough* HAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

Oh yeah, and then he got a girlfriend called Punsy. But Droco called her Punsywunsywunsyee fr short. And two henchmen called Crebbe and Gooyle.

And then Droco grew up and became the Dark Pizza's number two and McGenegal got the sack for giving him a detention, and Herry turned into a talking stoat and Punsywunsywunsywee married him and then Droco turned into a unicorn because he was such a good boy and the unicorns gave him a sticker for being good. 

 

THE END

 

Author's comments: Dear Judge - I'LL CRUCIO YOU IF THIS UNICORNTASTIC PIECE DOESNT GET FIRST PLACE SO GIVE ME FIRST PLACE BECAUSE IT IS TOTALLY ORIGINAL AND I LOVE IT!

 

Judges comments: Unfortunately, this piece  came fourth and missed out on a medal. Boo hoo sob sob.

FIRST PLACE : HERRY PATTER AND THE TWO FACED TEACHER (LITERALLY)

SECOND PLACE: DOMBLODEER AND PICK HERRY PATTER'S ENTRY OR I'LL RELEASE MY SECRET STASH OF UNICORNS ON YOU!

THIRD PLACE: HAMIRONKNEE GRENGAR AND OMG WHY IS HERRY DOMBLODEER'S FAVOURITE, I'M THE CLEVER ONE

 

Author's Extra Comments: Unfortunately I don't know the crucio curse... I'll have to think of something better... Like rejecting YOUR handshake!!! Serves you right!!!! How do you feel now, Judgey?? Wait... And Domblodeer.. Um I mean Dumbledore has a SECRET STASH OF UNICONS??????? And I don't know???????

 

Judges Extra Comments: No, that's Domblodeer, a completely fictional character with no resemblance to real life, just like Droco Malfay, Herry Patter and Hamironknee Grengar. Duh.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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