Draco Malfoy and the Better-Than-Potter's-Broomstick

The sequel to Draco Malfoy and the Rejected Handshake. Join Draco as he embarks on his hilarious second year at Hogwarts through numerous scrapbook entries. Made for laughs. Enjoy! XD


14. Crystal...'s entry (runner up)

Part one

Job Application


Name: Draco Matilda Malfoy, although you can call me Awesome. Cuz I am.



Age: I'm not sure... Mother says 13,  but Popsicle wants me to be his little boy, so 3.Your pick.



Blood Status: Clean! Duh! I just rinsed it out yesterday!


Reason for Applying: I need to buy some Valentines for PansyWansyWooWoo. So I need some money. Popsicle said you need to work for your money. You need a job to work. SO GET ME A JOB!!!


Any allergies: None that it know of... But apparently Pansy has an allergy to me, which just makes it that much harder to win her heart.


Male/Female Neither. I'm a boy.


Hobbies/ Interests: If I start listing, I can go on for PAGES AND PAGES! I'll stick with 5 for now:

- DARK PIZZA (Capital power!)

- Popsicle

- Hair extensions

- PansyWansyWooWoo

- Making fun of Potty


Anything to note?

Popsicle has high expectations on me. He said there is no one better to give this job to. So DON'T LET HIM DOWN AND GIVE ME THE JOB!

It may do you some good to know that if Popsicle gets angry... The Dark Pizza gets angry... if The Dark Pizza gets angry... I get angry. If I get angry... oh, we'll get to that later!

So you'd better hand me my job before I summon my unicorn soldiers! Apparently I'm the Queen of the Unicorns! They follow my orders! Stay on my good side and GIMME MAH JOB!!!!!

~ Your sweety,

Dracy Pie :)


Part Two



Sung to the tune of You Belong With Me, by Taylor Swift


You Belong With Me Parody


I’m on the phone

ordering dark pizza tonight

I’m going off about

toppings that I like

Thin crusted, mushroom,

garlic, and cheese bites


I’m on my way to a

typical Pizza Hut

wondering if my pizza

has been done

I’m starving and my

stomach is grumbling


But they put olives

I said mushrooms

There’s bell peppers

but I wanted garlic


Dreaming ‘bout the food

when you wake up and find

that what you’re looking for

isn’t what you end up getting


You can see that I am

drooling for my pizza

You never get my

order right! Dark Pizza!

You belong with me

You belong with me


Walking the streets with

me and my hands all free

I can’t help thinking

this ain’t how it ought to be

Crying ‘bout my pizza thinking

to myself: “Hey isn’t this so wrong?”


You’ve got a taste that can

light up my whole face

I haven’t seen it in forever

since you screwed it up

You say it’s fine

want is better than that!

Hey watcha doing with a

store like that?


I want mushrooms

don’t put olives

Make that garlic

I hate tomatoes


Dreaming ‘bout the food

when I order again and

what I’m looking for

has finally come


If you can see that I’ve

been waiting for it all day

I’ve been craving for it

till it came to me

It was perfect for me


Sitting down at home

and eating pizza

All this time I’ve waited

and it’s finally here

And it tastes yummy

It belonged with me


Oh I remember you

messing up my food

when I specifically said

that I wanted it perfect

but you screwed it up instead

I know you must be new

at your job in Pizza Hut

that’s because your name tag says

Draco Malfoy upside-down


I can see that you just

ruined up my order

I know that you’ll go

tell this to your father


there’s something

you should know

Popsicles are

nothing but water

frozen stiff and

are dumb to the core

Like you

and your popsywopsy

Your popsywopsy


You are bad at cooking

Have you ever thought

just maybe

Pizzas need some salt

And they belong with me

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