Fast forward sixty years into the future, and Draco's grandchild, Draco Matilda Malfoy the Fourth is snooping around his grandfather's mansion while the adults are out at some boring conference. He comes across a large, dusty filing cabinet, almost literally bursting at the amount of papers in there. This piques his interest, so he reaches into the cabinet, and pulls out he first file he touches. Stroking the binding, he opens it almost reverently. The first page says 'Draco's Achievements in his Second School Year at Hogwarts'.
Beneath that, this is what it says (in handwriting reminiscent of Comic-Sans)
1. I went three nights in a row without wearing my Little Wizard Dry-Night Undies!!!! Popsy was soooooo proud of me!!
2. Pansywansy actually went on a date with me!! Not like that's a surprise or anything...
3. I got F- in ALL MY EXAMS!! YIPPEEEEEEE!!!!
4. Popsy's just said that he's disappointed in me. WHHAAAAAAT????? Those results are, like, the best I've EVER had! Usually I get, like, Z for Zero and stuff.
5. I got a job in Pizza Hut! I mean, is there any money grabbing muggle establishment so sublime?
6. OMG, I'm running out of things to put on this list. OMG, I feel like such a... Failure... (Maybe this is how Weasley feels everyday. Hmmm. Am I - Am I feeling sorry for that pesky blighter?!)
7. At least everybody loves me. Because really, who doesn't love the unicorn king? Don't answer that.
8. I'm successfully convincing people that my middle name is actually Hermantrude. I know, I know, Matilda totally encompasses who I am and whatever, but I think I need something a bit more manly (like Hermantrude) for Pansy to see me more seriously.
9. I managed to sleep an entire week without my favourite teddy, Monsuier Snugglebum!! Popsicle will be SO pleased!
10. I heard a rumour that because I've annoyed Snape so much this year that he's going to retire... And Sparkle de Saprklington, the famous creator of sparkles, is going to be the new head of Slytherin! Maybe I can show him my designs for changing the Slytherin logo... I'm thinking less gross little serpent, more beautiful unicorn!
Without forcing himself to read any further, Draco shoved the file back into the cabinet, then hurried to the toilet till he stopped retching uncontrollably.