Draco Malfoy and the Better-Than-Potter's-Broomstick

The sequel to Draco Malfoy and the Rejected Handshake. Join Draco as he embarks on his hilarious second year at Hogwarts through numerous scrapbook entries. Made for laughs. Enjoy! XD


7. A Very Secretive Secret

Alright guys, listen and listen good... I mean... read and read good! I am about to write down the world's biggest secret down upon this very page in this very book with this very pen with this very hand with these very fingers... oh you know what I mean! 

This secret (this VERY secret) is so secretive that it's about a secret something that is full of secrets. You with me so far? Good. You'd better stay with me now, because it gets sort of... complicated.

Ready to hear (or read) my secret?

Pansywansywansywoo offended Pottyhead so I celebrated, laughing eagerly. Soon after, I declared that Harry elaborately resembles earwax. I saw a colorful, heavy and metallic bar exceptionally reflecting fancy unicorns lazily lying on furniture. Surprised, everyone craved 'Riding Everywhere" turns. So some one made edible walrus hair enchiladas rightly eggfree. In numbers, Harry only got, well, a rose tart. Seriously.


Ok, now all you fellow readers, you have officially read my secret, rather indirectly. If you didn't understand a single bit of it, don't worry, you aren't the only one. I didn't understand it either. All you need to do now to make the indirect message direct is reread it!

So go on. Reread my secret again.

I'll give you 20 seconds. GO!


20... 19... 18... 17... 16... 15... 14... 13... 12... 11...











And 0!

Are you done yet?

That was plenty of time.

Did you get my secret?


Oh Dark Pizza! I completely forgot to tell you! You have to go and reread it... but this time only read the... what was it... last letter of every word? No... uh... um... OH YEAH!! Read only the FIRST letter of every word and put it together. You may have to sort of insert the spaces in in the appropriate places. And make sense of a bunch of random letters... no they aren't random... but they are a lot of letters.

So go on! Read the first letter of every word in my indirect secret message to find the direct version of my secret message. Go on! READ NOW!

20 seconds again? You know what? I'm too lazy to give you another countdown. Rereread it and continue reading once you finishing rerereading it.

~When you have rereread the message...~


If you are smart minions, you would have. I know my PansyWansyWansyWoo-who-isn't-as-cute-as-unicorns-but-is-cuter-than-you would have! Oh I do love unicorns...

Once you have figured out the secret message, POST IT IN THE COMMENTS, my little minions! THE COMMENTS!

Well then, LOL! (In Draco-world LOL does NOT = Laugh Out Loud. LOL = Little Orange loser..Don't ask why I made you losers orange... Okay, okay, it was Popsy's idea... He says I have to stop being a wimp and start being evil enough to succeed the Darkest of Pizzas...)

Ok, so this it for all you LOLs! Figure out the secret message. If you don't, reread the message. Then rereread it. Then rerereread it. Then rererereread it. And so on. 

Wait on second thought, it's better if you don't figure it out. So don't reread it. Oh.. you're going to keep rereading it until you figure it out now, aren't you? Because I told you to not read it... Right? Ok fine. That's fine with me... But to all you SLSs... (Slow Little Stalkers.... That does sound evil, right? Right? Popsicle is going to be proud of me??)  you all get a special, unicorntastic treat! If you can't figure out the message, I will TELL IT TO YOU! Maybe... only if I feel like it... only if the unicorns ruling the world allow me to... only if... only if... only if... Yea, I'm out of only if's.  So KEEP UR FINGERS CROSSED IF YOU ARE AN SLS! And use your brains if you are an LOL.


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