After a month of organization for the tour, we were finally ready to head to North America. Casey hasn't called... Harry and Ashley had to cancel their tiny vacation due to the tour, so I guess they were at home taking care of Casey to prevent her from self-harming again. I just can't believe that our happy marriage now turned into a disaster, and I don't see any hope of getting her back.
North American leg of the tour was gonna take an entire month. That means, apart from not getting any calls from Casey, I would be thousands of miles away. I really didn't wanna go. What if by the time I come back, she's gone forever?
It has been a month since I last talked to Niall; it has been a month since I temporarily moved in with Ashley and Harry. Seeing them so happy together made my heart hurt so much. They tried to keep it to themselves, but sometimes it is just unavoidable to have their couple moments in front of me.
A part of me wanted Niall so badly, but the majority of me told me that I can't forgive him that easily. I really didn't know what was the best way to proceed. Plus, I had a baby growing inside me; I didn't want him/her to grow up without a father, but who says father has to be biological?
The other day I overheard Ashley and Harry's conversation about 1D's new tour, and apparently they were going to start in North America this time. I've always imagined going on tour with Niall, but I guess it would never happen... maybe I just go back to Canada instead of sticking around bothering Ashley and Harry... Or maybe I should go back to Australia with Luke?!
**Flashback to a week ago...**
Luke has been coming to check on me since the day I left the hospital. At first he came with the rest of the band, but later on he would just come by himself. I could tell that he really cared about me, but I didn't know that he had feelings for me until today.
Luke came today with a box of cupcakes; he knew food always cheer me up.
"Hey Case!" he cheerfully said as he walked into the house.
"Hi Luke," I replied.
"I bought you some cupcakes! and I made them myself!" he gave me the box.
"Wow! Luke Hemmings, I didn't know you can bake!" I was really surprised for the fact that he knew how to bake and for the fact that no one has ever made me homemade cupcakes before.
"Well I asked my mom for a bit of help, but I did most of the work."
"Thanks, Luke! this is really sweet of you!"
"Why don't we go to your room and start eating instead of standing in front of the front door hahaha," he suggested.
"Right hahaha C'mon!"
We went upstairs to my room and jumped onto my bed. Luke sat down in front of me and stared at me anxiously as I was about to open the box.
"You ok, Luke?"
"Yeah, I'm fine! Just open the box!"
I was shocked by what I saw in the cupcakes. There were four cupcakes, and on each of them it read "Will" "You" "Be My" "Girlfriend". I was not expecting this...so I just stared blankly at the cupcakes.
"Casey?" he called and wrapped my hand in his. "Will you...will you be my girlfriend?"
I looked up at him, and I couldn't find any words to say.
"Casey...?" he asked again as his blue eyes pierced through mine.
"I...Luke...I can't but please let me explain!" I tightened by grip before he could sprint out.
"You don't need to explain; I get it...you just broke up with Niall and technically you guys are still married..." his voice trailed off.
"Yes that is one of the reasons...the other reason is I don't wanna hurt you! I don't wanna be one of those girls who used another guy to forget about her ex. I can't do that to you! You are a great friend, a super caring friend; but I guess I'm just not ready to move on...I'm so sorry Luke!"
"Hey, don't be sorry, Casey! It's not your fault; I totally understand! It's just I'm going back to Australia in two weeks, so I wanna let you know how I feel. and If you have the same feeling for me, you could come with me and forget about everything that happened here...new place, new beginning"
"I can't give you a definite answer right now, and definitely not the answer you want. I...I...need to think about this."
"That's ok! I'll give you a few days to think it through, call me when you have an answer." With that last note, he ran out of my room and out of the house. I felt so guilty about rejecting him, but I was still to attached to Niall... Looking at the cupcakes, I didn't know what to do...
**End of flashback**
Since that day, Luke hasn't visited me at all or called. Do I want to leave everything behind and go? Do I want to leave Niall? I couldn't just leave everything that I've dreamt for behind; I couldn't imagine raising our child with someone else...We are meant to be together!