Starting Fresh

Keaton is now 18 and has almost forgot about her summer romance with Harry styles. But almost is never enough and things always end up coming back to you ***self harm is included in this story***


2. The past is the past.

Okay I'll admit it. I was nervous. But when I thought about it maybe a boy was better than a girl. Less drama i thought. Maybe Harry could be like Wayne! Or maybe Harry could mean something more. I cursed myself. I wasn't allowed to be having thoughts like that. No one would want me and I knew it. But there was still hope of a friendship in my mind.

When Mrs. Styes got up to find Harry I just sat there. Doing absolutely nothing until I heard foot steps. "Ugh do I have to mom?" I heard and assumed it was Harry. His mother said yes firmly and he slowly trudged up to meet me. Great, I thought. He didn't even want to see me how on earth could we be friends? I don't know what I was expecting him to look like but it wasn't that. He was handsome. More handsome than any of the other boys in my school. He has dark brown curly hair and perfect eyes. "Hello I'm Harry. Nice to meet you, the brownies you made were delicious." I could tell he was I only humoring his mother though so I began to think of an excuse to leave. "Well I want to finish some work inside so I'll leave you 2 to talk." And with that she left. We sort of just stared at each other before he broke the silence. "Your really beautiful you know. " I gasped and mumbled under my breath "no I'm not I'm an ugly piece of shit that no one cares about and I don't blame them." Apparently I wasn't quiet enough because when I looked up he had an expression on his face that could only mean that he'd heard me. Then he opened his mouth

Harry's P. O. V.

I couldn't believe what I just heard. She was one of the prettiest girls id seen and in a different way. She didn't look like the kind to walk around flaunting it. She seemed like the kind of person I could easily be friends with. Or maybe more...I stopped myself. This is how I would end up ruining it. Not that id had much experience but still I figured.

"That's not true." I said but I figured that I should let the subject drop given the look on her face. "So since it's summer do you know any good pools?" She thought for a moment. It looked like she was considering leaving but changed her mind "Well it's raining most of the time so there's not much of a need for them. But I know this place...." She trailed off. "Yeah...?" She told me it was a small lake in a clearing not too far into the woods. "The sun sometimes shines and there's a cave and even a small waterfall you can stand under!" She sounded excited. "Well Summer just started right?" She nodded "We have the whole time to lounge around in it?" I knew I wanted to spend time with her but I hoped I wasn't being too forward. She seemed to think for a moment. I bet she is always busy. Why would she want to hang around the new kid all summer anyways. "Never mind you probably have plans with your boyfriend and all the other people you hangout with everyday right?" I hoped I didn't sound too bitter but I had a habit of doing it. She looked stunned. "I uhm....don't really have any friends that I hangout with. Or really just in general..." She admitted quietly. "Oh." I said. Maybe a little too happy for the sentence she just said. "Well we can spend summer together. I never got your name!" She but her lip for just a second and said "Keaton." I'll come by around 4 and show you the lake...if your not busy?" I told her not at all and went inside happy. A good start.

Keaton's P. O. V.

After we went to the lake for the first time we knew a lot more about each other. We had spent hours there talking about ourselves. Opening up very easily. Which surprised me a lot. I had told him my biggest secret at the end of the night. I told him that I self harm and I showed him my scars. He didn't say anything and for that I was thankful. He just hugged me and ended up holdin me for a long time. When we finally let go he kissed me. It was short and sweet and exactly how I'd always wanted my first kiss to be. After it we just carried on and them walked home and acted like nothing happened. That's how most of the summer went. We talked and laughed and spent most of our time together. Towards the end of the summer I told him I loved him. He looked at me and said it back. He was my first love and he was lovely. We were happy and nothing was wrong.

When school had almost started we wee together in the park when he noticed something on my wrist. A single red line. He gasped because she i been clean all summer because of him. I told him that. I didn't want to but ultimately the hatred for myself and the way I looked pushed me over the edge and I had to do it again. Atleast 1 cut. So I did. And I enjoyed it. He asked me to roll up my sleeve and seeing I didn't have a chance I did. I remembered the last time I showed him how kind and supporting he had been and I did need a hug now. He surprised me though by yelling. He was angry extremely angry and we kept I fighting. "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO YOURSELF!" I found myself not answering any of his questions and just backing away. "How can you be so angry. I need you to be kind to me and try to help me through this or I'll never make it. That's the Harry I know and need." He seemed to think for a moment and then he yelled again "RIGHT NOW YOU DONT NEED LOVE. YOU NEED HELP AND SITTING IN YOUR BATHROOM AND SLITTING YOUR WRISTS ISNT GOING TO HELP YOU AT ALL." That was the last conversation we'd had. After that comment I ran home crying and collected myself at the door enough to get to my room without my mom and dad questioning me. When I got upstairs I ran to the closet and found my journal and opened it up to find what I needed. I took them and went into the bathroom. I set them down and began crying again. Then I stopped. I wasn't sad. I was angry. How could he not understand. How could he be so cruel. I was angry and I began crying again so I took the blades I had collected and cut 1...2...5...8 cuts and the one deeper than I had ever gone. I had just done 9 total cuts and there was blood pouring out of me. I grabbed a towel to stop it after I realized what I had done. I was loosing consciousness. I had always been depressed but not ever suicidal. I decided I didn't want to die. Not today. I wasn't going to die for Harry. He was the only one I had left and he left me but I was stronger than that. Or so I'd like to hope. So I dialed 911 and when the operator asked what was wrong I told her I cut too deep. I was loosing a lot of blood. I blacked out in the middle of her telling me to stay calm.

***sorry for the short chapters. I don't know if anyone is even going to read this....but if you are thankyou!! This is my first story and it's not much about Harry right now but I needed to explain the begginging of this because it's the whole setup to the rest of the story!!! So please comment and let me know what you think!!***

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