“I am sorry for what happened before. I-I am sorry” I stammer still looking at the ground.
“And what happened?” Harry asks me warmly when my eyes meet his. I need to tell him everything, I need him to know that he helps me to get through this every day.
“I am not a psycho. Believe me, I am not” I giggle and go on “This place is doomed and every cell in my body knows it. That´s why that panic attack…” I go silent for a moment.
“Why is this place doomed?” he sounds confused. Of course he has no idea my fiancé died here.
“247 days ago my finance jumped off this bridge straight to the water and killed himself” I reply in one breath and look at watch on my left wrist. It´s right after midnight so it´s 248 days already. His silence speaks for its self. I am glad we are quiet right now so he can´t tell I am crying silently.
“I had no idea. I am sorry, I really am!” he starts to apologize like he was the one who threw James off this fucking bridge. I look at him and smile through tears.
“You couldn’t have known that Harry. It´s alright now. I am slowly coping with all of this, it´s just I haven´t been here since then” I reply and shake my head.
“The chills I am having right now are like the ones I had that day and it feels so current-“ my speech is suddenly cut off by the hug that Harry gives me through our thick coats. My body goes with it and I let all my senses enjoy this moment. I feel his strong cologne. It´s spicy but with the scent of flowers, and I somehow find it the most calming thing ever. Suddenly my phone starts ringing and I quickly loose our grip to reach for my phone in my bag. I lean to the ground to grab it when suddenly the ringing stops. I grab the phone anyway and look at the caller- Zayn Malik. Shit, I should have been quicker. Suddenly Harry reaches for his jeans pocket at the back and withdraws a black iPhone and encloses it to his ear. I assume he has it on vibrating mode.
“Hey Zayn, what´s up?” Harry answers with annoyance in his tone. I can hear an urge in Zayn´s voice. I start biting my nails and try to catch some words from the call.
“Actually I am with her now” Harry adds and his green eyes fall on me.
“We´ll be there in 15 minutes. Thanks man.” Harry replies and hangs up. I just wait for Harry to say something. What does Zayn want to do with me? Oh, you drunk idiot, maybe he´s found something on Bennet . Shit. This is suddenly exciting.
“Zayn wants to meet. I-I am sorry, I know you are at the bad place right now but-“ I suddenly cut him off.
“No! I want to go. And I want to leave this place for sure” I add and smile at him. Corners of his mouth reveal the dimples and I suddenly see the most beautiful smile I have ever seen on Harry. Then I smile even more and take my bag from the ground.
“Where does Zayn live anyway?” I add while passing streets of Kensington.
“You´ll see.” Harry responds with a smirk. Ok Then.
I recognise this part of London. It´s probably Primrose Hill. I know few people who live here, it´s pretty posh neighbourhood for my opinion.
“Noel, come on!” Harry shouts at me as the door opens. It´s a huge house made entirely of red bricks. The lighting coming from the grass perfectly shows all corners of the garden. I quickly run to Harry after his calling. It´s hard to do so in high heels and with the whiskey in my head but I make it. A dark haired girl is standing at the door with the smile on her face. She looks perfectly neat even it´s after midnight and this is probably her house.
“Long time no see, Harry” the woman says and close the door behind us. I just awkwardly stand next to him and smile.
“Sorry Hazel for this late visit” Harry apologises with a smile and hugs her. “You look incredible by the way” he adds while hugging and I laugh a little. This is a poor way of apologising.
“Charming as usual” She laughs and looks at me.
“You must be Noel. I am Hazel, nice to meet you” Hazel says and I see the kindness behind her eyes. She looks so sweet.
“Nice to meet you Hazel” I reply and give her my best smile. I want to be friends with her.
“Ok. We don’t have to stand in the middle of the hall, Zayn is already upstairs waiting for you.” Hazel adds and leads us upstairs. This actually the most beautiful house I have ever seen. Every piece of furniture is made of dark wood which perfectly suits to the white painted walls. It feels like no one is actually living here, everything is at its place like she spends every minute cleaning this all.
“I am sorry for interrupting whatever you guys were doing-“ Zayn adds with a smirk and Harry just raises his eyebrows. “- but I found something” he goes on and I listen patiently.
“We were wrong the whole time” Zayn says and takes a sip of tee which Hazel´s brought minute ago.
“About what?” Harry asks the same thing as I wanted to.
“About Bennet´s intentions. He is just a puppet of very dangerous game.” Zayn replies and I exhale heavily.
“I hope I haven´t scared you Noel” Zayn smiles and I just observe him. This guy is fearless.
“Yeah, you did” I respond and lean hard against the sofa. I feel Harry´s eyes on me. Then he speaks up.
“Man-“ Harry scolds him like he said something I couldn’t have known.
“I am sorry for interrupting but honey, could you please…” Suddenly Hazel appears by the door pointing her forefinger at Zayn. Zayn quickly stands up from the chair and goes to her. It´s not like we can´t hear what are they talking about.
“I am going to bed love. Flight will be long and I want to have some sleep in reserve.” Hazel whispers.
“Ok. Guess I won´t see you tomorrow morning. Come here” Zayn tells her quietly and by the sound I guess he kisses her. I had no idea Zayn has a girlfriend. Well I know now, but he acted so bohemian in the bar where we first met. He definitely doesn’t look like someone´s life partner.
I look at Harry. We both heard them so it´s a little awkward now.
“I had no idea Zayn has a girlfriend” I add quietly and turn back to see them. They are hugging now. Harry laughs too loudly.
“He and Hazel are married for a year now” Harry laughs and watches me blush. He is married? The looks he gives her now totally make sense, he had done the most beautiful thing the man can do- devoted himself to her.
“He loves her more than I have ever loved someone” Harry suddenly adds seriously.
“Ok, where were we…” All of sudden Zayn joins us and I bite my bottom lip. I really wanted to ask Harry something.