254 days after
It´s 8.30 p.m. and I am still at the office. I went for lunch with Bennet the other day and haven’t told Harry about it. The thing is, I wanted to talk to him as a friend and to be honest I hoped he would have told me the truth. He didn’t though. It was nice seeing him after that long time when I didn’t know he is blackmailed and so. I know it´s my company too. There is a big deal of money involved but that´s the last thing I care about. I want people to be safe. Especially the ones who made my life bearable for the past 254 days.
Sun is almost down and sunshine makes my office cosier.
“Ms. Newman can I go now, please? Do you want something or…?” Becca is already wearing her trench coat ready to finally leave.
“Yes, of course. Enjoy the rest of the day” I smile at her. I am never this nice to her.
“You too” She shouts from the end of the hallway.
I pack my things quickly and lock the door to my office. I always do so, so no one could get in when I am not there. Not even the cleaning lady. I don’t know I am just paranoid that anyone could see my things and it just makes me uncomfortable. I wave at Steve, our doorman and leave. Day was replaced by night and I am happy for it. Sleep is again closer to me. As I step out from the door I see someone walking forward to me. He is wearing black shirt and black everything, jeans ripped around his knees and one part of his head shaven the other long make me recognise the stranger.
“Matty!” I shout with a wide grin and throw myself on him.
“Whoa, slow down a bit” He catches for breath with laughter. His body responses and tighten the grip. I can smell cigarettes and cologne from the hem of his shirt and I suddenly feel happy.
“You are here” I add quietly and look at him. He hasn’t changed. I can still see a bit James in him. Memories start filling my mind same as water fills my eyes.
“Yeah and you still own this preppy thing as I can see” he adds and point at the sign on the building with my name on it.
“Why haven’t you called? Are you staying in London or-?” I ask him, my hands still holding his arms.
“My phone is dead and so is my best friend. I had to see you Noell” He replies in a weak voice.
James and Matty were best friends before I had first met James. They both had done cocaine in the past and both decided to stop. I haven’t seen Matty since last year when James and I had spent Christmas at his parent´s house. He and Matty were best friends since primary school as far I know. And they lived next to each other. Now I meet Matty at other circumstances. He wasn’t at his funeral though. But I don’t blame him at all.
“I am here just for couple of days and staying at this hotel in West End” he adds after my long silence and I smile. Few days mean we could spend some time together before he leaves and doesn’t appear in 10 year time again.
“I missed you pal” I hug him again and then quickly pull away. I know how much he hates hugs and any other close contact.
“I missed you too. I am sorry for not being here but I just couldn’t I –I” he stammers and I quickly cut him off.
“Stop it. I really don’t want to discuss any of it” I say.
“Thank you” he replies with a hint of smile on his lips.
I am standing in the corner of my living room and watch how pale James is. I don’t want to say anything to scare him off so I just stand there and watch his every move. It looks like he is packing. I ask him why but he doesn’t answer. I went silent and spot water falling out his shoes in streams. Suddenly the whole floor is wet but I am still silent.
“Don’t try to find me” he says but I don’t recognise his voice. All of sudden he grabs my hand and I wake up.
Trying to catch my breath I put fingers on my cold hand. Total panic overtakes my body and I start crying and shaking. I quickly grab my phone to check the time.
I don’t know how to calm myself. This has never happened to me before. This was the first dream with James in it since he died. My head still recovering from the fact I saw dead James in my dream tells my hands to dial Harry.
It´s ringing but he doesn’t pick up. Fear is slowly fading away as I realise it was just a nightmare. But my phone rings. Harry is calling back.
“I am sorry for waking you up, I am sorry” I quickly say with no hi or anything.
“What´s wrong Noell? Are you alright?” His voice is full of worries.
“I´ve dreamed about something and didn’t know how to calm down. But it´s ok now. Go back to sleep” I add.
“Do you want me to come over?” He asks seriously.
“Yes.” Response suddenly leaves my mouth. What am I doing right now?
“I am there in 15 minutes” he adds and hangs up.
Hi everyone:) I just want you to know that I love you for reading this even just for fun or being bored as hell. Ok. I see Matty as Matt Healy from the band 1975. I hope you are ok with it because for me he fits there perfectly. Have a nice day xx.