I sat on the train with Marlee after the excitement of the letter died down and she started to tell me about her morning.
"So the reason it took me so long was Frank kept stealing my shoes and hiding them around the house. So I threatened to jinx his shoes to make them eat his feet whenever he put them on. But then-" she was cut off by the sound of James' voice calling to the other's. She gave me a sly and excited smile.
"Stop staring! He'll think I've been watching him." I turned her towards me. "Pretend your talking me about something."
She nodded and started describing the Hogwarts common room to me.
"Red curtains and gold bed spreads for every bed." She was giggling a little at how stupid we were right now.
"Really? This sounds like a wonderful place we're headed to." I notched my head to the right a little to sound engaged in the conversation.
"I think James is staring at you." She smiled at little.
"Let him." I looked down a little, blushing.
"If you look at him now you'll eyes will meet." She said it in a sing song voice.
I turned my head to look at him and our eyes did meet. His eyes looked deep, like the picture. He motioned for me to follow him down the hall. He stood up. I felt Marlee's arm shake me to get up and go.
"What are you waiting for? Go!"
"Are you sure? What if I do something stupid? What if I embarrass myself?" I was really nervous.
"Don't be stupid now! Go!"
I sighed and nodded my head. I stood up and followed him down the hall. He opened the door of the professor's luggage cart. Students weren't allowed in, but this was James Potter and he believes that rules are "guidelines".
"What is it?" I said. You could hear the wordiness in my voice.
He ran his fingers through his hair. That always gave me the jitters.
"I just just just wanted to tell you that you look beautiful." He sort forced himself to spit it out.
I looked at him and my heart started racing. Was it him or the danger of getting caught? I looked at my feet and blushed.
"Thanks." That was all I could get out.
"I just wanted you to know that." He sounded so sweet right now and I had just had to show him how much I loved him.
"So let me get this straight. You had me follow you to a luggage room made for the professors' luggage...a place we're not supposed to be. Just to tell me I looked beautiful." I tried to sound kind, yet be a little mysterious.
"Well I just-" I cut him off with a kiss. I threw my arms around him and kissed him. His lips were so soft and for some odd reason tasted like frosting. He didn't pull away, but on the contrary, put his hand on my waist and the back of my head pulling me closer. A rush of adrenaline flowed through my veins and my heart raced. Then I finally pulled away, realizing where I was.
"Sorry, I just didn't know what to say." I blushed and got really embarrassed. Then, he brushed a piece of hair out of my face.
"It was the perfect thing to say." His eyes were so sweet and his voice was genuine. I threw my arms around him and hugged him around the waist and the moved my arms up to his shoulder blades. He held me like he did in the kiss. I leaned my head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat. It was racing so fast I thought it would pop out of his chest any minute. Then I realized what I'd done. I quickly jumped from his embrace and panic flushed through my while body.
"Why did I do that?!" I said panicking.
"What do mean?"
"I kissed you! Why would I do that?!" I paced back and forth in the tiny closet.
"I honestly thought it was fabulous." He said leaning back against some luggage with a smirk on his face.
I shot him a dirty look. "You! That's why I did it! Because I absolutely, positively hate you James Potter!" My body was up against him again.
"Pardon?" He seemed very calm about this whole thing.
"You have to go leading me into a closet and telling me I'm beautiful and-"
He ran his god damned fingers through my hair again but I slapped his down.
"And running your fingers through your hair! How can you expect me not to act that way?!"
"Keep your voice down, Evans!" He was whispering now.
"And the way you call me Evans! Oh! That infuriates me beyond belief!" I was so frustrated with him and myself mostly, that I forgot where we were.
He tried to force me to quiet down. "Shhhhhh!!"
"And you know why I hate you most of all?! The fact that I can't hate you." I began to whisper because yelling wasn't getting a hold of him. I was so angry and so frustrated that I thought that I would explode.
"You're positively perfect James Potter and it infuriates me. Every time you do something horribly wrong or cruel, I try to find someone else but, you're to perfect. No one else works now and I hate it. I hate that I'm always thinking of you." I leaned against another wall of luggage and sighed again.
"Sorry, but if it helps, I think you're perfect." He just blew up a ticking time bomb with one tiny drop of gasoline. I shot him a horrible look and slapped him across the face harder then ever before. I stormed out and down the hall to meet Serious in front if their compartment.
"Hey Evans, how far did you Prongs get in there?" I gave him a look that told him that I was not in the mood for his jokes. I slapped him just as hard as James'. He whimpered in pain and slammed the compartment door to me and Marlee's compartment shut. I rolled down the curtains so I didn't have to look at anyone except Marlee.
"What happened?!" Marlee exclaimed.
I was vivid with anger. "I kissed him."
"You what?! Really! Oh my god that's great!" She held my hands and shook them around.
"Then I realized how ridiculous I was being and slapped him silly." I looked out the window and stared at the wonderful countryside. The rolling hills and wide open fields. I wish I was out there instead of on this crammed train.
"If you keep acting rude to him, he's eventually get over you." Her voice was low and kind of disappointed.
I looked at her in an instant. He couldn't he's been obsessed with me for five years, why would he stop now?
"I mean, he absolutely loves you but feelings can change. You of all people should know that."
Of course I knew that. Not just with James, but with Severus. When I was younger, me and Severus were best friends since we were nine years old. Then he got put in Slytherin and me in Gryfinndor. We still remained best friends until I told him that James wasn't so bad and he got furious with me and told me that I was crazy for even liking someone that mean. I claimed that he was only mean to him and it turned into a screaming fight in the courtyard and that was really embarrassing for me and him. But what we said wasn't terrible or anything, we were just telling each other what we thought of them until Severus said it in front of almost everyone. He said the word. The word was still fresh in my brain like it was a second ago. His exact words echoed through my head, "What would you know about good taste in guys, you filthy little mudblood." Everyone in the courtyard gasped and I just looked at him and the salty taste of tears rolled onto my lips. He immediately wanted to take it back, like a child trying to grab their balloon that they let slip from their grasp. But I just stared at him, I couldn't believe he said the word. He labeled me with such foul racism, and in front of everybody too. That was two years, four months, six days, two hours and 14 minutes ago. I remember the time so vividly because Severus was someone I held near and dear to me and genuinely trusted. After I stood their staring at him in disbelief, I stormed upstairs to the girls dormitories and cried my eyes out. The other girls were at lunch so I was completely alone in my room, emotionally unstable for lunch. But one girl, one kind and sensitive girl, had the decency to check on me to see if I was okay. That girl was Marlee Weasley, the best girl I know. I remember the first thing she ever said to me. "Hey, you look like a mess. You need help cleaning yourself up?" To which I responded, "Oh thanks." Then she looked at me dead in the eyes and told me, "Let me help you, you need it." That was all I needed to hear and we just clicked right after that. Now when I see her, I still see that kind and friendly girl that helped me when I so desperately needed it.
I heard the sound of knocking on the door.
"It's him. I know it's him."
"Do you really want to turn him down. You can fix things."
He knocked again.
"Can you talk to him for me?" I was begging now.
"You're being ridiculous."
She sighed and opened the door.
"What do you want James?"
"I'd like to speak with Evans."
"Hold on." She closed the door and looked at me.
"No. I don't want to cause any trouble with him right now."
"Your insane." She shot me a dirty look.
"Lily doesn't want to talk with right now."
I heard him sigh from out in the hallway and I felt a little guilty. He didn't deserve that slap in the face or me screaming at him.
"How about tonight?" He sounded as frustrated as me right now.
"Hold on." Marlee popped her head back in.
"Yes, I'll defiantly be there."
"She'll be there."
He sighed with relief "Good."
Marlee closed the door and sat back down.
"You're a total idiot, you know that right?" She looked at me with her eyebrows raised.
"Believe me, I know."