It's been exactly a week since I first arrived at Perrie's house. The weather is getting warmer, the smell of cut grass in the air. Everyone who was currently staying at the house was outside in the back garden, eating and laughing around a barbecue that Niall was cooking on. I was in the kitchen, stirring my drink with my straw and watching them from behind the glass of the patio doors. Perrie waves me over but I shake my head, smiling politely. I'd grown to trust Perrie more, gradually telling her more and more about me. I sensed that there was something I wasn't being told however; it was like a big secret that everyone knew about apart from me. I hadn't the slightest idea as to what this supposed 'secret' could be. I'd first came to this conclusion when walking with Perrie and she'd said that she 'wasn't meant to tell' me about her being in a band. I didn't see why. Since she'd told me, I'd managed to get onto Niall's laptop and search her name on the internet. After scrolling through the results, I found some videos online of their music. I'd been pleasantly surprised and had been humming one of the songs in the kitchen the other day, catching Perrie gleaming at me with clear delight. She didn't press it, which I found strange. She was the talkative type but this certain topic seemed to steer her away from speech. This only made me wonder more... how bad could it be? Could it be something that would make me freak out? I couldn't possibly think of what it could be. At all.
"Crystal?" Niall calls, opening the patio door and sticking his head in the room; immediately letting in the smell of barbecue food.
"Hey," I say as cheerily as I can manage.
"Are you coming outside? We're just about to eat," He says, nodding at the garden and smiling broadly. I nod and place my drink down before following him out into the bright daylight.
"You really should ask her, mate." Harry says, stirring a pan of rice as he looks at me over the kitchen worktop. I sigh and twist around on the bar stool, contemplating.
"But what if she freaks out and asks loads of questions and then I end up letting something slip..." I tuck my lower lip under my teeth at the prospect.
"Well, don't you think that'd be for the best?" Harry replies, looking at me with a serious tone.
"I don't know, Harry. Maybe it's better to leave it for longer and just not ask her to go." I suggest and he shakes his head.
"You want to leave her here alone?"
"Not particularly but-"
"Exactly, just... break it slowly." He says, placing the frying pan back onto the stove, his eyes finding mine again as it begins to sizzle.
"But how on earth am I meant to break something like that to her?" I say, frustration edging my tone.
"Niall, mate clam down." Harry replies, chuckling at me with a shake of his head. I shake my own as I swivel round, watching as Crystal enters the kitchen behind Louis.
"Hey guys, Crystal wanted to know what everyone is doing for dinner tonight?" Louis says, smiling back at Crystal over his shoulder. She was hugging her arm, closing in slightly on herself with embarrassment. My stomach churns slightly at her quick shining towards Louis.
"I don't mind.." Harry starts, looking at me.
"What would you like Crystal?" I ask, obviously taking her aback as she opens her mouth in surprise. She gives me a shocked, and slightly horrified, look before closing her mouth and shrugging. Louis smiles again at her before rummaging around in the fridge. I loose track of the conversation as I watch Crystal lean against the wall, nervously picking at her brittle nails. Her hair was messily undone, falling from her ponytail around her face delicately. She was make-up free, skin glowing under the harsh artificial light of Perrie's kitchen. I watch her as Harry begins talking to her, studying the slight way she reigns herself in, as if to keep herself in check. She pauses slightly and thinks before answering him every time; extremely wary of her actions and words. She seemed.. self-conscious. But a hell of a lot deeper than any other person I'd ever seen. According to the nurse, Mai, she suspected that Crystal had been secluded for much of her teenage years and had had limited contact with people her age, especially males. It's only then that I realise just how scared she must be of all of us. I mean, five men living in one house with her and one other girl; the other of which is confident and completely comfortable around us and with herself. It saddened me to only get a minute glimpse into how she must have been feeling at this precise moment, and my being ached to ease her suffering slightly.
But how was I suppose to ease it when I was part of what was causing it?