Recently, everything has gone down hill. And I don't know why!
Parker has stopped talking to me. He's been calling me 'Dirty American' and Trevor joins them. Micheal laughs when I walk by. Amanda leads them.
Everyone else picks on me. You know simple things like tripping me in the halls, throwing things at my head in class, the 'Dirty American' and other name calling and tormenting me.
My past is coming to my present.
I cut every night before I go to bed.
Some mornings, I wake up on my bathroom floor, confused but I soon remember I passed out.
But I've noticed that William kid gives me smiles sometimes. I still sit beside him and he tries to talk to me a lot but I can't get the courage to talk to him.
I'm scared I'm gonna say something and he's gonna hate me...like the rest.
Oh yeah! That Friday of the football championship, I stayed home. (It's now three weeks after it) That Wednesday, that's when Parker changed.
I walked into Ms. Jones' classroom and he gave me that same dirty look from the first time. After that, I became a loner.
At lunch, I always sit on the same bench and read the same book with my ear buds in full blast so I don't have to hear everyone's comments.
There is that same group that stands near the dorm house and messes with me everyday. I get tripped by the same guy. Yeah I know, I should try to dodge him, I tried. I don't care anymore. Give him pleasure.
My depression talks to me when I'm in school and sometimes, I go to the bathroom and give a little swipe.
I've went to my wrists to my hips and then my legs.
I talk to Rose every once in a while, she doesn't know about this whole situation. Steven knows that I've been bullied but, he doesn't know about the cutting. He's coming to visit in a couple days and I've been practicing on how to cover up the cuts with make up.
So it's Thursday. "What to wear, what to wear?" I tapped my chin. "Ah!" (@LeaneSamantha)
The Super Bowl is coming up and I'm really excited because I get to watch the game.
I put my binders in my bag and grabbed a milk, went back to the room and took an antidepressant. I barely eat also.
I quickly walked to class and the principal took role and we left the class.
I passed Amanda who was dressed like a kid. (@LeaneSamantha)
I saw Parker kicking a soccer ball around and I got the guts to go up to him.
"Hey Parker, can I talk to you?" He was about to kick the ball.
His arms lowered and he looked at me.
"Who are you?"
"Lola? Can we talk?" He huffed.
"Quit being a kid and get your ass over here." I growled. His eyes widened and my heart raced.
What the hell did I just say! I said to myself.
I walked over to a tree and leaned against it.
"What the hell was that!" He shouted.
"I should ask you that question. Why did you just ditch me like that?"
''What? I don't know who you are." I got close to his face.
"Parker, it's me Lola. Dorm 44D, your winter fling date....my first kiss." I started to cry. He looked me dead straight in the eyes.
"I'm sorry, I don't know who you are." And he walked back to his friends.
What happened to us? What happened to my life?
I ran back into the school and ran into the bathroom.
I pulled out out my pocket knife and pulled my sleeve up.
I made one little swipe on my left arm and went to the sink.
The cut stung on contact and I moaned in pain. The bloody water went in the drain and I heard giggling.
My heart raced as I struggled to get the bleeding to stop.
I heard a girl talking and I know that voice from any where.
The voices got closer and I finally got the bleeding to stop and I got a paper towel and held it over my arm.
I threw away the towel away and made sure the bleeding stopped.
"Well, well, well, look what we have here."