WARNING MINOR SEXUAL SCENE BUT ITS NOT TO BAD
I woke up the next morning completely forgetting what had happened yesterday. Then I started smiling and I guess you could say dancing around. I couldn't help but smile and smile. I walked over to my desk to check my laptop for messages. As usual; nothing. It didn't matter though, I'm on the X-Factor. I smiled again at the thought. Since they are still auditioning people I don't have to go back to the show for a few weeks so until then I guess ill just continue to smile like an idiot.
I opened my diary to continue writing. I kind of liked the idea of writing down story's of my life.
"So there's a story that I've never really told before. I guess nows as good a time as any. About 2 years ago I met this guy named Jack. Well I wouldn't say meet really more like talked to for the first time. We had gone to school together since Kindergarten. The first day of high school I saw him. His dreamy green eyes and his beautiful blonde locks. I had the biggest crush on him ever since Kindergarten. He walked over to my locker and well here's the conversation.
"Hey your Demi right?"
"Yea haha I know"
"So I was wondering if you wanted to go out sometime?"
"YES! I mean...uh...yea...sure"
So we went on our date and I THOUGHT it went great. We hung out a few times and I really thought I was in love with him. One night when my family wasn't home I invited him over to make out a little bit. So there we were kissing and all when he started to pull at my shirt and suddenly he had both of his hands on my boobs. I have to admit I was a little turned on but I had never even had a boyfriend before let alone had sex before.
"Jack, stop! I'm not ready!"
"Come on Babe it'll be fun "
"STOP!"I screamed but he wouldn't stop. He was a lot stronger then me and I couldn't push him off. I tried and tried but it was no use.
"PLEASE JACK STOP PLEASE!"
But before I knew it he had ripped off my top and was going for my pants. I kneed him in the gut and he fell off of me. I ran up the stairs to my room and closed the door. I breathed a sigh of relief. When I felt a sharp pain in my back and my door was broken in half on the floor. He dug his nails into my arms and picked me up off the floor and threw me on my bed. He was so strong I couldn't stop him all I could do was scream and pray that someone would hear me.
"Don't worry I'll try to be gentle. Or not" he whispered the last part into my ear sending a shiver down my already bruising spine. Before I knew it he was reaching into his pocket and pulled out a condom. Wow what a gentleman.
"Please don't do this" I was now crying so hard I couldn't see straight.
"Sorry babe I need the practice."
"Why? Why me?"
"It was so easy because you were already in love with me"
How could I be so stupid? All I could do was cry harder. By that time he had already stripped himself down and I was next.
I felt a cold rush of air and I knew without looking down that I was naked. Only seconds later I felt a huge pain between my thighs.
"What's the matter babe? Oh that's right your a virgin."
He began to thrust himself into me going faster and faster. All I could do was cry. I heard him moan with pleasure. He leaned over and began to kiss at my neck. Then the kisses became harder. And before I knew it he was biting at my neck all over. I didn't have to look to know I had purple bruises all over my neck. I few more thrusts and a lot more pain and it was over. The pain. His entire body weight on top of me. I guess he was gone but I never looked. After an hour or so I tried to move but my entire body was numb with pain. I couldn't move. After a while I was able to reach my covers and pull them over me. I found my clothes and put them on as slow as possible. I laid there still feeling naked and cold. Not to long after that I heard the front door open. Was he coming back for more? I was terrified as each step became closer and closer. Finally they were right by my feet. I saw my sister Dani looking over at me then at my neck. She tried to sooth me and asked what happened. I couldn't speak. She stayed with me that night and eventually I told her everything and she never left my side. I kept repeating to my self what a horrible slut I was but Dani only shushed me and told me it wasn't my fault that I was raped. I was raped. Raped. I knew in my head that it was true but, I did love that boy once so maybe he thought I wanted it to. No! I repeated to myself. No no no! It wasn't my fault. In the end it didn't matter I will always feel dirty inside."
I saw the smudges on the pages. Confused I looked up thinking there was a leak. Only to realize I was crying. Just the thought of this story makes me want to curl up and die. Writing down did make me feel better though. Like something was released. Since then I never trusted boys. I never had a true boyfriend. All the girls at school hated me because Jack went to school and practically told everyone that I raped him. I didn't go to school for weeks after that. And when I did I had no friends. Just Dani. If it wasn't for Dani that day I probably would have killed myself by now. It was also because of Dani that I found music which also saved me from destroying myself. But just think of it wasn't for that I wouldn't be on the X-Factor. And finally a smile grew upon my lips.