Stockholm Syndrome

Life is not like in the movies. You don't wake up one day and know exactly what will happen and just realize your dreams. Sometimes you can't even influence things. The tumor was spotted when I was fifteen. I'm eighteen now and it's time to say goodbye. But not because I will die, no. It's more than this. It's time to say goodbye, because I'm starting a new life... But not like I planned it. At first everything feels like a dream, but suddenly it turns into a nightmare and all I can do is watch. I can't explain why, but all at once I'm caught between where I am, what and especially who I want. Life is hard. There is love, hate, loss and happiness, but am I strong enough to stay and say what's on my mind?


8. Trust, Plans, Unexpected Things

A short time later I heard how Harry exhibited the shower. He opened a few cupboards and finally began to blow-dry his hair.

Slowly I got up and ran into the kitchen. I opened the fridge and noticed that the candy had been halved and more fruits were in it.

So he wanted to help me, even if he had said that it didn't matter how much I weighed? I frowned and closed the door again.

The moment the bathroom door was open and I ran to the door of the kitchen.

Harry strolled out of the bathroom and I immediately looked down. He only had a towel wrapped around himself. Harry sighed and stopped.


"I'm not going to assault you, trust me. Look up," he said softly.

Do what he tells you. This time you fucking stick to your words.

I slowly looked up. My eyes roamed his bare feet on the floor, his legs, the white towel, which he had just tied under his stomach in a knot. I glanced at his hands; in them he kept his underwear and a keychain. I looked back at the nodes of the towel. Above him was the huge butterfly, the swallows and finally my eyes reached his face. His lips were curled in a slight smile, his green eyes looked at me and his soft curls were loosely around his head.

"It's only me. I'm a regular guy, you know. I'm only Harry Styles" he said softly and smirked. "And I won't hurt you. I want you to feel comfortable here, but we have to compromise. I love to walk around freely, but for you I restrict it. And, well, if you behave well, I'm going to unlock directly the door in the morning when I go to work, so you can move freely. You have to accept me as I accept you."


What the hell was he talking about?! If he would accept me for who I am, he had asked for a normal date and not kidnapped me, right? He would let it be my decision and not forced me to "date" him.


I swallowed my anger and nodded. He smiled wider now and exhaled in relief.

"Good. I thought we would have to argue about this topic," he said and ran up to me now. "What do you like to eat? We can order anything or cook together... which means that I could cook something." He laughed.

"I, um, how about Mexican?" I suggested. I knew that Harry's favorite food was tacos.

"Good idea," he agreed with me and dug his room key out of the keychain.

I looked at the keychain and saw a car key, room key and some minor key, possibly for a mailbox.

"Think about what exactly you like to eat, I'll just get rid of this things" he said, and put the key in the lock. Before he unlocked the door, he looked at me.

"You can think about it on the sofa," he suggested and I nodded.

Of course he didn't think I knew what was in the room in front of him.

I slowly walked to the sofa and just as I had turned around to catch a glimpse of the room, Harry closed the door again from the inside. Puzzled, I watched as he turned the light on inside of the room.

He spoke incredibly slowly, but he could move like... a puma or something. Although I had heard that he was a little clumsy, but he was well accustomed to this house and therefore could move like that.

Yearningly I looked out of the windows. The waterfall splashing merrily to himself, the drops reflected a slight rainbow to the window, where they had landed. Maybe it was two o’clock. Maybe even three o’clock. I felt like I was losing my sense of time and sighed in frustration. I didn't have my phone and here was nowhere a clock where I could check the time.

Harry's bedroom door was opened again and I slowly looked at it. Harry stepped out of the dark room - he had turned off the light again, and obviously all the blinds were let down - and now wore light denim shorts and white socks. He closed the door, but didn't lock it, and came with his phone in his hands and a smile on his face towards me.

"Have you made ​​up your mind?"


While Harry ordered our food, I had to go to my room again. Harry closed his door behind me, but also didn't lock it. He probably wanted me to really have the illusion that I could be free in my prison. After a short time he was with me again.

"The food comes in just under half an hour. Let us go back into the living room" he said, holding out his hand.

Do what he wants. What he expects.

Slowly I got up from my desk chair, put my hand in his and immediately his long fingers joined around mine. He glanced at me surprised; he probably had expected more resistance, like yesterday evening. The look quickly changed into a smile, and together we walked to the sofa. I sat down and Harry sat down cross-legged in front of me.

"Do you understand why I have sent you away?" he asked me.

"Because you don't trust me and have thought I would call for help?" I advised.

I probably would have done it, if I hadn't found the blood yesterday. He licked his lips briefly and looked up at the carmine.

"Because I don't trust you yet," he corrected me and looked at me again. "You have to get used to me, I understand that. But... you know, I honestly don't know how to do that." He laughed uneasily and looked at his hands, I furrowed my brow.

"I told you what I feel for you and why you're here and that I will not hurt you, but somehow..." He shrugged his shoulders.

"I, um... Trust develops. You must understand me, Harry," I said, and he looked right into my eyes. "This- this is all so new. A few days ago I was some girl, some Fan. Now- now I'm sitting here, because you kidnapped me," I said softly. I could read in his eyes that he didn't like that term.

"Because you want to show me that we are meant for each other. But I hardly know you. I know you only a few days. I'm only eightteen, that is a bit much at once, you know?" He nodded.

"If you liked me so why didn’t you ask me out on a date?" I asked and he bit his lip.

"I was sure you wouldn't want me," he admitted and I chuckled.

"What? Why that?" I asked, and he grimaced.

"Nobody knows us personally; everyone has prejudices, even some fans. For example, I would only date older women, Louis always drags a carrot with him, Zayn a hand mirror and a comb. Niall would eat all the time and... okay, he really does that, but sometimes he doesn't. And Liam is always portrayed as the most mature of us and humorless. So I had to show you just who I really am," he said.

I nodded slightly and then said, "But you do realize that you now have presented yourself as a perfect madman?"

He slightly lifted his mouth and then sighed. I swallowed my disgust and grabbed his hands.

He looked at me surprised and I said "Try to trust me and I'm trying to trust you. I can understand why you want that I don't know where I am, that I forget everything around me. But you got to trust me."

It rang twice briefly, it had to be the supplier.

"I swear that I won't call for help. Or anything else. Please, just let me sit here and see another face beside ours" I begged.

Harry shook his head slightly and said, "I don't know if that's such a good idea..."

I briefly pressed his hands, it rang again.

"Please, Harry," I begged again.

He glanced at the door and then looked at me a long time. I looked at him; you could watch as his heart struggled against his head.

Finally, he squared his shoulders and said, "If you say a word, the supplier won't survive his delivery. Is that clear? I have said that I won't hurt you, there is no insurance for all others."

I nodded. He looked at me again long, and then got up, took his wallet from the table and ran to the door. When he opened it, I looked immediately to the supplier.

It was a young man, perhaps thirty. He announced the price, Harry gave him his money and already the man was gone and the door closed.

I quietly sighed in frustration. I had tried to give the man signs, but he was too busy staring at Harry and his tattoos. Harry turned to me and smiled.

"Well done, love," he praised me and I tried to smile back.

"I told you that I wouldn't say anything," I said and he nodded.


We ate at the big table. Harry told me a little more of the interview and the photo shoot, what they would do tomorrow.

"Soon we will also record a music video for our new single, but that can take a few more days. Anyway, I hope that, because then I would be gone all day and you can't stay that long in your room," he said and I nodded.

"And, well, I can't also simply bring you along." He laughed briefly and then looked at me. "Everyone would find out what a psycho I am, right?" he said and winked at me. 

I choked slightly on my food and smiled briefly.

Then I swallowed my food down and asked, "How do you imagine that when you go on tour?"

Suddenly his smile disappeared and he closed his eyes.

"I knew I would forget something..." he said and my eyes widened.

"You- you didn't think about that?!" I asked and he shook his head.

"You've managed to kidnap me from a hospital, even though you're so famous and didn’t worry about how it all should work if you're on a world tour?!" I asked, surprised.

So he had put me in a super safe and not escape able house, planned my abduction and everything else, but didn’t think about that?

"You're the worst kidnapper of all time," I said and couldn’t help but smile.

Wait. Why am I smiling? Oh no. I felt how Harry had wrapped me with his clumsiness and cute stupidity around his finger. That couldn't be true!

Harry opened his eyes and saw my smile and so he also began to smile. I quickly looked back down at my paper plate and pushed the food around with my plastic fork.

"I'm sorry... or something," he said and I laughed shortly.

Damn, damn, damn. No. How the hell could I develop feelings for this psycho?!

"We'll find a solution. We’ve still time until then. Perhaps we are then much further with the whole trust thing," he said and I nodded.

"How do you think will this all work out? I mean, do you want to keep me all your life or will I eventually be thrown away?" I asked honestly and he looked at me shocked.

"I'm not going to replace you at some point, if you mean that" he said and I nodded.

"And how do you do it with the press? I mean, you're not going to have a girlfriend all the time, right? And with all the time is my life meant," I said and he nodded.

"That's a thing I've thought about. There are three possibilities. Either I say that I'm gay, what would however bring up questions about my relationship with Louis again and then he would have stress with Eleanor, so... I probably won't do that. Then there are only two possibilities left: either I stay single all the time or I'll get a fake girlfriend" he said and I looked at him, frowning.

"Or you're dating many different, but never get officially together with someone. Or you say you're taken, but your girlfriend wants to remain anonymous… But this would bring up questions with your family and everyone else. Or..." I began, but didn’t finish my sentence but shook my head. All this was of course tactics that he would most likely draw the following possibility.

"Or what?" he asked.

"Nothing, just a stupid idea..." I lured him and drank a sip of water.

Harry shook his head and said, "Oh, come on, Grace. Tell me."

"Or..." I began slowly. "We could let pass some time. I'll cut my hair, dye it... change in general and we can sometime take a walk together outdoors without having someone recognize me as Grace Miller..." Harry looked at me with narrowed eyes.

"Are you serious?" he asked and I shrugged my shoulders.

"Of course, it would take some time. And you... you would naturally find a corpse that could fit on me... But one has obviously not easy something like that under his bed, right?" I joked and Harry looked at me bewildered.

Slowly I felt like the psycho from both of us. I cleared my throat.

"I told you that it's a stupid idea..." I said sheepishly and poked with my fork the food around.

I felt Harry's eyes on me with a burning look, but I didn't look up again. Harry let my sentence without comment and began again to eat. His eyes now moved away from me and I looked up slowly. Harry peered at his plate, I could practically see how he weighed the idea with the others.

So I had achieved a small success. I smiled slightly and continued eating.


That with the corpse had occurred to me at the last moment. So Harry could possibly disappear what had happened in his room and I would come out of this damn house. The girl before me would therefore not have died in vain. I could cover everything and would be reunited with my family...

What was Harry doing with me that I had begun to think like this? Slowly one could say that I would really suit him... Awkward. 

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