Stockholm Syndrome

Life is not like in the movies. You don't wake up one day and know exactly what will happen and just realize your dreams. Sometimes you can't even influence things. The tumor was spotted when I was fifteen. I'm eighteen now and it's time to say goodbye. But not because I will die, no. It's more than this. It's time to say goodbye, because I'm starting a new life... But not like I planned it. At first everything feels like a dream, but suddenly it turns into a nightmare and all I can do is watch. I can't explain why, but all at once I'm caught between where I am, what and especially who I want. Life is hard. There is love, hate, loss and happiness, but am I strong enough to stay and say what's on my mind?

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1. Only Three Hours

"Ms. Miller, the doctor will be soon with you. He will tell you everything in detail and then they will operate in less than two hours. All right?" The nurse said each word individually and it was freaking annoying.

"Sure," I said, quite normal, and she looked surprised and then left the room.

"Well, hopefully the doctor talks differently than her..." my sister said and rolled her eyes.

I laughed, dropped me on the chair next to her and said "I hope so too."

 

It was not the first time that I had to have surgery. Since the tumor was discovered three years ago, we had traveled from hospital to hospital. Now we finally found the right clinic and a doctor who was able to remove it.

I looked at my twin sister and she smiled encouraging. My illness changed the whole family. While Mom and Dad threw themselves into the work, Cassidy and Xander had always been there for me and shared my hard time.

 

"Hey, it'll be all right," I said and took her hand. She smiled at me and then looked at her cell phone. Her smile became bigger and she stood up.

"I have a surprise for you. But don't freak out, okay?" She laughed and I nodded.

"Okay... now I'm excited!" I said and Cassie grinned at me one last time before she opened the door and guys stormed into my room. Only when they stopped in front of my chair and grinned at me all together, I realized it.

"Oh... my... god," I said with a shaky voice and couldn't believe it.

 

Right in front of me were the five guys of One Direction.

 

"Hi" said Liam and grinned at me. With wobbly legs, I stood up and he hugged me.

"Hey..." I said when we looked at each other again and had to laugh, because I just couldn't believe it. "I- I'm Grace."

"We know" said Zayn, smiled at me and hugged me. Then he looked at Cassie, who just closed the door.

"But... how? I don't understand... Cas!" I said obviously confused and looked at her, standing next to Zayn. They smiled at each other and then she looked at me.

"I've met Zayn about a week ago, in the hospital in which we were last. We were talking and I told him about you... and then he came up with the idea."

"Wow... thank you for being here" I could only say, before I started again to grin stupidly.

"No problem," said Niall, stepped forward and hugged me too. In photos and in the videos he always looked so small, so I was surprised by his strong arms that are placed around me.

Harry gave me a teddy bear with a "Get well soon!"- sign and I gratefully accepted it.

"It's really sweet," I said.

Harry grinned at me, then hugged me and said "Cassie told us a lot about you and I thought that it best suits you."

I stroked the Teddy, grinned at Harry and said "Aw, thank you."

Louis clapped his hands once and thus attracted the whole attention. Then he smiled at me and hugged me before asking "So what do we do?"

"Outside is a park with a playground. We can go there, if we want" suggested Harry and Liam laughed.

"Sure, let's go!" We got up and left my room.

Liam and Louis ran in front, followed by Harry, Niall and me. Zayn and Cassie took their time; they talked a lot and laughed, obviously they were very close.

Before we reached the elevator, I was stopped by a nurse.

"Where do you think you're going, young lady?" she asked with a stern tone.

"We just wanted to go out to get a breath of fresh air" I said and she shook her head.

"Your friends are free to go, but you stay here. Your doctor wants to talk with you first. Then you can go."

I nodded and she went back.

"We will wait," said Niall, but I shook my head and said "No, no. Go outside already, I'll come right after" and smiled at them.

Scowling, I had to watch as my surprise went and I had to go back to my room.

 

Five minutes later there were two doctors in my room.

"Dr. Derek Sheridon, head of neurosurgery," said the first man briefly and then the second doctor said "I'm Dr. Alex Manneck, assistant physician."

Dr. Sheridon cleared his throat and said "We've looked at your medical record and the encroachment will at least last more than four to five hours. We will begin in under three hours. Is it correct that you agree to a general anesthetic?" 

I nodded and swallowed hard, as it was now serious.

Dr. Manneck wrote down my answer and said "You don't have to be nervous. This hospital has the best doctors in the whole state."

I smiled slighly and they left the room together. I took a few deep breaths before I got my stuff set up and went outside.

 

The three hours flew by!

We laughed a lot and talked. The guys were really nice to me. We took many photos and I saved their numbers. When we squeezed us onto the chute, I laughed so hard, I could hardly breathe.

So I paused for a moment and looked around: there were Liam and Louis, who were discussing who had to sit at the end of the queue; Cassie and Zayn in front of me, who laughed and teased each other, while my hands were still on Zayn's belly; behind me sat Niall whose hands were clasped on my stomach and constantly whispered any jokes in my ear, and there was Harry, who sat behind Niall why I felt his hands in my back.

Finally, Liam and Louis agreed and Louis sat contentedly behind Harry while Liam turned the camera on and set the timer.

"Okay, ten seconds... NOW!" he cried, quickly sat behind Louis and we tried to slide, but we weren't moving an inch.

Cas and I fell into peals of laughter, while Liam sour called "This cannot be true!"

All but he joined in our laughter and suddenly it flashed. The picture was made ​​and we started to laugh even more.

 

Suddenly I heard someone calling my name from further away and seconds later Xander stood in front of the chute.

First he looked at us confused, but then he shook his head and said "Gracie, you are needed. They want to operate you now, but you're not there."

"Who's this?" Niall whispered in my ear and I turned as best I could to him and said "This is my big brother Xander. Xander, that are Zayn, Liam, Louis, Harry and Niall." I smiled at him, but he looked just stressed.

"Okay, cool, hi. Grace, we have to go now" he said and I sighed.

Slowly I tried to free myself from the mess and nearly fell out of the chute, but Harry caught me.

"I got you" he said and I smiled at him.

"Thanks," I said when he let me down and went to Xander.

Then I turned around again and said "Thank you for this beautiful afternoon. I hope we meet again soon." I smiled at them and they smiled back.

Cas hugged me first, followed by Zayn, Liam, Louis, Harry and Niall, who said "We hope so too", before I left.

 

My brother took me to my room and in the bathroom I put on my hospital gown, while he waited for me. Then I lay down in my bed and he covered me up.

"Do you think I'll be fine?" I whispered and he nodded.

"It just has to. Besides, you're strong, you gonna kick that tumor in his ass." He winked at me and I had to laugh.

At that moment, Dr. Manneck walked into my room and said, "Ah, there you are. Ready?" 

I nodded.

"Very good. I'll see you in a maximum of six hours later" he said and made ​​me the anesthetic with a syringe in my bloodstream.

"I give Dr. Sheridon modest and you tell me, when she's asleep" he added before he left my room.

I looked at Xander, who took my hand and squeezed it. We talked as best I could, but I noticed that I was getting tired, my eyelids getting heavier and my breathing getting slower.

"Sweet dreams" my brother whispered, before I fell asleep. 

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