*This warning again. Sorry, more sexual content that can be sensitive to some people.*
Vic drove us home from the town. When we got there, I got right out of the car and went inside without saying a word to Vic on the way by. Audrey and Amy were back in the living room, but I just ignored them, going up to the room that I was staying in. I groaned, throwing myself on the bed and clutching the sheets. Why? Why does that fucking dick have to be here? First he destroys my life as a teenager, and now it looks like he wants to do it again. Why can't I ever just be happy anymore? Something always has to go wrong. I internally screamed and hit the pillow next to me before pulling it to my chest. I felt tears well in my eyes. How could I go from straight-up anger to wanting to break down? It was painful.
A few moments later, Vic walked in the room and made sure to close the door behind him. “Kells.” I didn't bother looking at him. “Kellin, are you okay?” I just shook my head. “What happened? Did something happen when we were at the record store?” I could tell that he wasn't just going to let it go that easy. Still, I still didn't answer him. I felt the bed dip, and he lay in front of me, not moving the pillow. “Can you please tell me what's wrong?” I blinked a few times and sat up. He did too.
Taking a deep breath, I started to speak. "I just got a really bad memory. That's all.” I choked back the sobs that wanted to spill out from my throat.
“People don't just get that upset over a bad memory. Something happened.” He put his hand in mine, squeezing it.
“Well, I do,” I snapped at him. He looked shocked, but it never really registered in my brain what I’d done. “There are just some things, Vic, that you don't need to know, okay? Let me just deal with my own shit before you get caught up in anything.” I couldn't even control the words that were coming out of my mouth. It was like some kind of waterfall that I couldn't stop. “Just… leave me alone.” I snatched my hand from his and jumped off the bed, leaving the room.
I stormed past Audrey and Amy once again. “Kellin, what’s wrong?” Audrey asked as I went past them. I mumbled a ‘nothing’ and walked out the back door. I just kept walking to the beach. The ground changed into sand, and I stopped. I took off my shoes and just walked barefoot over to the little shed that they had for extra beach things. I pulled out a towel and walked closer to the water, laying it on the ground and sitting.
I hugged my knees to my chest and buried my face in them. I was so angry at Vic, and I didn't even mean to be. It wasn't his fault at all. Not only was I mad, hurt, and angry because of Dan, but I was also pissed off at myself for snapping at Vic like that. But I didn't trust myself to go back in there at that moment. I didn't want to blow up at Audrey or Amy either. I just felt like such shit. I hoped Vic would forgive me.
I don't know how long I sat outside, but it’d long enough for the sky to get darker. It wasn't black outside, but the sun was beginning to set. I was surprised that no one came out to check on me. I guess they were giving me some time to cool off, which was a good choice. I had just been staring off into the ocean, thinking about how easy it would be to just walk out there and drown. I was a good swimmer, but I wasn't the best. I'm not exactly saying that I was suicidal or anything—even with the bad shit, I still love my life too much to just throw it away—but it would be so easy to just leave everything and start over somewhere else, and, at times, I wanted to do just that.
I was shaken out of my daze when someone’s hand touched my shoulder. I jumped a little, turning around to see who it was. I saw Vic standing behind me. I smiled and pat the ground next to me, gesturing for him to sit down. “Listen, Vic, I'm really, really sorry,” I sighed.
"It’s okay. You looked upset,” he said and slid his arm around my torso, pulling me closer to him.
“No, Vic, it’s not okay. I snapped, and you didn't do anything. I'm sorry. I was just pissed and sad... just too much all at once.”
“Are you okay now?” he asked. I could tell that he was being cautious with his words. I nodded, and there was a pause. “What upset you so bad? It wasn't me, was it?” I moved my head to look at him and kissed his lips.
"It wasn't you, Vic, okay? It’s nothing to worry about. Something just got to me. I'm fine. Trust me.” He sighed and kiss me back.
“Okay,” he mumbled and nodded. “But you know you can talk to me about anything, right?” I smiled and chuckled a little.
“Yeah, I know. Thanks, mom.” I said the last part sarcastically, making him laugh a little bit, too.
Vic sat behind me with his leg on either side of me, and we both just watched the sunset. It was like a movie, really—the couple sitting on the beach, watching the sun set and the sky change to all kinds of colors. They would just talk and enjoy their time with each other. It was kind of like me and Vic, and I really like it.
We sat longer. It was almost completely dark out, but neither of us wanted to move. It was probably only seven or so outside. The sun set earlier than usual because of the time of year. “Hey, the girls are going to a party-type thing tonight and wanted to know if we wanted to come with them,” Vic suggested kissing my neck.
“Yeah, it sounds fun. It can get my mind off things.” I stood up and took Vic's hand, pulling him up, too. We walked back in the house just as the girls were about to go. I set my shoes and the towel down. “Don't leave without us.” I smiled at them.
“Are you feeling any better?” Amy asked.
“Yeah, I just needed some time to cool off,” I replied and put my small jacket back on from earlier before sliding on some newer shoes. “Let’s go,” I said, and Vic and I walked past them, going out to the car. We got in the back and buckled up as they got in the front of the car.
It was only about a thirty minute drive in the opposite direction of the town. We pulled up and got out. There were definitely a lot of people there. I guess if you're going to have a party in the middle of nowhere, it might as well be a big one. We got in, the girls instantly going in a different direction. Vic and I headed over to the drinks once we spotted them. Vic poured me a drink and then himself one. A couple hours later, and I was a little wasted, to say the least, but I felt great. I hadn't drunk that much in a long time.
Vic and I were on the dance floor in the middle of probably two hundred people—it was a big house. I was grinding back on him as he held my hips. I turned around with one arm around Vic’s neck. I pulled him in and kissed him the best I could in my drunken state. I brought my hand down, squeezing him through his jeans. Usually he would oppose right away, but I guess he was just as drunk as me. Instead he moaned and kissed me harder. “Let’s go upstairs,” he said as he pulled away. I nodded and drug him out of the crowed of people. We set our drinks down on the table by the stairs. We could just get new ones.
The second we were in someone's bedroom, I was pushed against the door. Vic kissed me, shoving his tongue into my mouth, exploring every inch of me. Everything was kind of blurry, but much more sensitive, like the first time we were drunk and slept together. Within a matter of minutes we were on the bed, naked and making out with each other. He was on top of me, between my legs, pushing his lower half against me. Our hard-ons rubbed together, making the both of us moan.
Vic sat up on his knees, grabbing his discarded pants and grabbing a condom out of his jean pockets before he threw them back on the floor. I don’t know why he had a condom, but I was too drunk to even ask. He put the condom on and lined himself up, then slowly pushed in. We both let out a loud moan as he went in. Once he was all the way inside, he bent back down, attaching our lips together then sucking on my bottom one. He pulled out and thrust back in, making me pull away from him and groan. My head rolled back, and my eyes shut every time he thrust back in. He kissed and sucked on my jaw and collarbone.
My legs wrapped tightly around his hips, pulling him back every time he pulled away. My short fingernails dug into his back and drug along his skin, probably leaving long, pink marks whenever he would hit my favorite spot. Multiple shock waves shot through my body, making me feel weak, but, at the same time, it felt so good that I didn't want it to ever end. My head tucked into Vic’s neck, and I bit down as he went faster. He grabbed my member and started stroking it fast. I felt dizzy, probably from drinking a lot. “Fuck, I'm gonna come!” I practically screamed. Vic kissed me again, groping my dick harder and flicking his wrist faster and faster. I was putty in his hands at that point, and I loved being in my own pleasure-filled daze.
My whole body felt like it was on fire. The pooling in my abdomen got stronger and stronger until, “Shit!” I moaned and shot on my stomach and in Vic's hand, finally getting that amazing release. My back arched off of the bed, making our chest rub together. Vic continued to thrust and stroke me, making sure that I was done. His hand stopped all too soon, but his thrusts got faster. He made those moans that I knew meant he was starting to get really, really close. “Come for me, Vic,” I moaned in his ear. “Come on. I wanna see your face as you come.” He loved dirty talk. He whimpered desperately and thrust hard a couple more times before he was groaning and releasing himself inside the condom in me.
He rocked his body more, and then started to slow down. He finally stopped and looked at me, smiling. I cupped his face, bringing him down to kiss me. He rolled off and threw the condom in the trash bin on the other side of the bed. I picked up a blanket and wiped me and Vic off. It wasn't our blanket, after all. I looked back over at Vic when I was done, noticing that he had already fallen asleep. I got up, putting my pants and shirt back on then sliding my shoes back on, too. I was going to go find the girls and ask them if they were ready to leave because Vic and I sure were.
I walked out of the room, closing the door so that no one saw a naked Vic. I walked down the hallway. It looked like it was spinning, and I stumbled a little. Someone behind me caught me before I hit the ground. “Well, hi there, princess.” I tried to focus my vision, only being able to see a really blurry, dark-haired person. I tried to move away, but the man had a tight grip on me. He pulled me into another room that was down that hall. He pushed me on the bed and got on top of me. My whole body was so weak; I couldn’t push him off even if I really tried.
“Stop,” I tried saying but my voice was shot. “Please, get off.” He was on top of me, pushing himself against me.
“Oh, come on, Kelly Bear. I know you’ve missed me. I told you you’d see me again.” It finally clicked in my mind who it really was—Dan. I tried pushing him away from me a little harder. He held my wrists and pinned them to the bed, sucking on my neck. I wanted to scream, but every attempt was blocked out. He pulled my shirt off and turned me on my stomach. “You are not to scream. Got it?!” he growled, pulling at my hair then pushing my face into the pillow. He pulled my pants down and did the same assault on me as before. Almost nothing could be heard over the loud sound of the speakers downstairs.
“Feels like you’ve already been fucked good tonight,” he growled, pushing himself harder into me. I cried out in pain. “Was it that pipsqueak I saw you with earlier? I bet I can fuck way better than him,” I wanted to scream ‘no.’ I absolutely hated feeling so helpless. “Unh, you’re still so fucking tight.” He kept up his act. My body was sore, and I wanted to run. The pain ripped through my body. It was so excruciating, and all I could do was scream into the pillow. His hand wrapped around my neck. "I said, be fucking quiet,” he hissed and pounded harder.
When he was done, he pulled out of me and pulled his pants back up. He came around to my face and pinched it between his fingers. “Fucking slut,” he growled. The glow of evil went through his eyes. I pulled my face away from him and sat up, getting off the bed. He walked up to me, pushing me against the wall. “Tell anyone and this won't be the last time that you see me.” He pecked my lips, and I just pushed him away. He glared and walked out. The second the door shut, I fell on the ground, shaking and crying.
The door opened again, revealing Audrey. “Kellin, are you okay? I could hear you crying from out there.” She didn't seem as drunk. I bawled, shaking my head. “What happened?” she asked, pulling me to her chest. I was shaking and crying so hard that I couldn’t talk. “Kellin, did someone hurt you?” I didn't say anything. I knew that he would do something even worse if I told her or anyone. I felt her grip tighten around me. "I'm getting Vic. I'll be right back.” Before she could walk off, I grabbed her arm.
“Don’t leave me.” I kept crying, and she helped me up. Vic was coming out of the other room at the same time. He ran up and put his arms around me.
“What happened?” Vic asked frantically. I cried harder into his shoulder.
"I don't know. He won't tell me.” Vic didn't say anything after that, just held me to him. “Let’s get him home.” Audrey continued talking, and Vic helped me down the stairs where Amy was already waiting for us. My body felt so destroyed and hurt. I just wanted it to stop. They got me into the car and Vic kept holding me tighter, rubbing my shoulders and trying to get me to calm down. It felt like almost nothing worked. I didn't know what I was going to tell them. I couldn't tell them about Dan.