Vic and I stayed sitting on the bathroom floor for hours. I sat up against his chest with his arms around my shoulders. I felt so exhausted from everything. “Babe,” Vic said getting my attention. “Do you wanna get off the floor?” I nodded, and Vic helped me up. We walked back into the bedroom, and I sat on the bed, letting my legs hang off the edge. I just kept looking at the floor. Vic came over and sat next to me. “Are you okay?” I thought for a second. I really wasn’t, but I didn't want Vic to worry about me. He cared a lot, but it didn't want him to feel bad.
“Yeah,” I croaked out. My voice sounded groggy.
“Kellin, please talk to me. You can’t keep that in from yesterday.” My body was rocking back and forth a little. I didn't wanna tell him how bad everything felt. But everything was just kind of... slipping.
“Do you really wanna know how it feels? How bad it hurts having to carry this around with me for years? How bad it feels to finally start forgetting, and then to just have it be ripped from you? Because it's pretty bad, Vic.” I was feeling mad. I don't even know why. Just so much pressure from this… it hurt. "I just want it to stop!” I yelled standing up with my head in my hands. “Every time things start to get better, that fucking ass finds a way into my life somehow, whether it’s through memories or physical stuff, and I can't take that anymore."
“Kellin, please, calm down,” Vic said, walking over to me. I felt so weak and pathetic to have let that happen to me. Vic wrapped his around my shoulders, pulling me to his chest. “Come on.” Vic pulled me back over the bed, so I sat down, and he made me face him. I was breathing really heavy, and my hand clutched at my chest, trying to calm my breathing. Not that it really did much. “Kellin, I want you to listen to me.” He cupped my face so that I was looking at him.
“Kellin, listen.” He stopped for a second, and my breathing got a little more under control. "I-I've been wanting to tell you this for a really long time.” He stopped taking a breath. “Kellin, I really, really like you. Like, a lot. I honestly can't even explain it. You make me feel happy and warm inside. You make me feel like I'm actually wanted somewhere. All I did before was live in a shitty apartment with my roommate. I taught guitar maybe twice a week. I've had a lot more fun with you these past three months than I had in the past two years. Kellin, it literally breaks my heart to see you like this. I hate seeing you so torn apart and broken because of what some asshole did to you. I'm not telling you to get over this—I know you can't, but I wanna help you. I don't care what I have to do. Fuck, Kellin, I'll kill him for you. But I don't want you to eat yourself up over something that you had no control over. I'm going to do everything I possibly can to make sure that he will never, ever hurt you again.” I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I knew he liked me, and I liked him, but I never knew those feelings were this strong.
“Kellin, I love you,” he finally said at the end. I think my heart stopped and fell out of my chest.
“Vic, I—” I started before he stopped me again.
"It’s okay if you don't say it now… or ever. Because I know it's only been three months and not that long since the first time I told you that I liked you, but I love you, I really do. I've thought about it for a really long time, and I'm never going to let anyone hurt you like this again. I promise.” I honestly thought that my heart was going to explode. Vic sighed when I didn't say anything. I leant forward, attaching my lips with his. He kissed me back with his hands on my hips.
“Vic, honestly, I don't know if I love you.” His face dropped. “But,” I continued and he looked at me again, "I do really, really like you. There's just so much happening at one time, and I… I don't really know how I feel. But I do like you.” I smiled and kissed him. I hugged him, tucking my head into his neck. “Thank you,” I whispered and kissed his neck.
“Thank you? For what?” he questioned and pulled out of the hug.
“For being there. I know I have Audrey, but sometimes it’s better to talk to another guy or just have someone else.” I hugged and kissed him again. He really made me feel special. I really wanted to say ‘I love you’ back, but I didn't know if I was ready for that kind of commitment yet. We lay down, Vic falling asleep. I didn't blame him. It'd been a really long couple of days.
I got up and let him sleep. I went downstairs to see if I could find something to eat. Opening up the refrigerator, I realized that I wasn't really hungry. I just grabbed a cold water bottle and walked back out in the living room. “Hey, Kellin,” I heard someone's voice say when I walked past. I turned around, noticing Amy on the couch.
“Hi, Amy,” I said and walked over to her. She patted the spot on the couch for me to sit next to her.
“How are you?” she asked as I sat down. “We haven't talked a lot since I met you.”
“Yeah, yeah, um... I'm good.” I guess I didn't really sound convincing because Amy gave me a strange look. “What?”
“Can I ask about yesterday?” I looked down and dropped my head, chewing on the inside of my lip. “You don't have to tell me. I was the only one there who was sober for the ride home, so the memories are really vivid. You were a wreck, and I just wanna make sure that you’re okay.”
"I'm fine. I ran into someone that I knew and… he hurt me a long time ago.” I looked at her, and she gave me a really sympathetic look. "I don't know how much Audrey told you about me, so I'm not really sure if this makes any sense to you.”
“She told me about when you were a teenager, you had a boyfriend that… you know.” I nodded. “Don't get mad at her or anything. I asked when she went over to visit you like a month or so ago.”
“Don't worry. I'm not mad. I wish she asked me first, but it's okay. Audrey is like a sister to me, so we’re family now.” I reassured her that it was okay, and I wasn't mad at her or Audrey.
“You really are cheesy." She laughed a little. "Did he say something last night?”
"It was something like that,” I replied. She nodded, I guess not really knowing what else to say. I don't really blame her. If I knew someone that was in my position, I wouldn't really know what to do either. It's a really touchy thing.
"If you ever need to talk and Audrey or Vic isn't around, you can come to me. Okay?” She smiled.
“Thank you.” I nodded and smiled at her. No matter how dead I honestly felt on the inside, it still felt good knowing that someone would always be there for me.
I was gonna go back to the bedroom before I was reminded of something. “Actually, can I talk to you about something now?” I she nodded. “Okay... um...” I took a deep breath. “When I was talking to Vic earlier, he told me something, and it scared me a little.”
“What did he tell you?”
“He told me that he loved me.” Her eyes widened and she smiled. “What?” I asked, feeling a little confused.
“He talked to me and Audrey a couple of days ago about you.”
“Really?” I didn't know that. “What did he say about me?”
“That he really, really liked you. The day that you guys went downtown, he was going to spend the day with you and bring you back to be all cheesy and romantic on the beach. He wanted to ask you to be his boyfriend—officially.” My heart stopped for probably the thirtieth time that day. So his telling me wasn't completely random. It really made me smile. That wasn't just a thing to make me feel better; he really had been thinking about it for a long time.
"I had no idea,” I said but still had a really big smile on my face. "I don’t know what to do, though. I haven't loved anyone in… years.”
“Well, if you want my advice, go upstairs, tell him how you feel, fuck him—like you've done probably a hundred times already—and be happy. Audrey’s told me a lot about how you get depressed easy because of what happened, but protecting and blocking yourself out from everything and this clearly wonderful guy is just going to hurt you more.” I nodded. She really was the other half of Audrey—sassy with good advice.
“Okay, okay,” I said and stood up. "I'll tell him. Thank you, Amy.” I leant down and hugged her before walking back off in the direction of the stairs and going to the room.
Vic was still sleeping, so I quietly walked over and got on him so that I was straddling him. He moaned a little and wiggled underneath me. I giggled a little at him. “Vic, wake up,” I said bouncing on his lower half some, my hands on his chest. He moved and opened his eyes. He smiled and put his hands on my hips. I involuntary stiffened, and I guess he was able to feel it, so his grip loosened, and he rubbed little circles on my thighs. "I love you, too...” I blurted without even thinking. That woke him up. His eyes widened. Before he was able to say anything, I stopped him and started to talk again. “Okay, I thought about it, and… it's been a long time since I’ve felt this way about someone. It really scares me. I don't want to fuck this up or chicken out, but I love you. I don't even care if we’re moving fast. I care for you, and you’ve helped me a lot, and you make me happy, and—”
Vic cut me off and flipped us over so that I was on my back and he was between my legs. He dipped his head and kissed me. He took my hands and pinned them above my head, my legs wrapping around his waist. He kissed me a little softer than usual—more passionate and loving. I got my hands free and rested them on his neck. "I'm sorry for snapping at you so much. Things are just—” he kissed me so that I stopped talking again.
"It's okay. But I have one question for you.” I cocked an eyebrow at him. “Will you be my boyfriend? Officially?” I brought him back down and kissed him. “So is that a yes?”
"It's an absolute yes.”
Note: No smut.. I’m sorry /).(\ but I’m trying to make people happy. So, I hope that you like it. Please let me know <3