In Love With My Foster Brother

Life in a orphanage can be fun but it can be lonely. I know, I have loads of brothers and sisters in here but lonely as in no friends. I mean no one gets along with their siblings all the time. Being the eldest my life is a lot more difficult than the younger ones but will it change when I get fostered.

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19. NINETEEN

It's been a month and Niall wont stop staring at me. As much as Demi has tried to get his attention he's also chasing after and today, I'm going to confront him. 

I walk towards Niall's room in the massive house and knock on his door. "Yes?" He answers and I walk in. "Niall we need to talk." I tell him. I notice he gets worried. "O-okay." He stutters. "Do you still have feelings for me?" I ask him. "Why would you think that?" Niall awkwardly asks and looks around the room nervous. I stare at him."Because you always stare at me, blush when  I talk to you and go all shy." I say and he looks at the floor. "I never stopped loving you." He quietly mumbles. "Niall? Why didn't you tell me?" I ask him. "BECAUSE YOUR FUCKING LOUIS! YOUR MARRIED TO HIM FOR FUCK SAKE! Do you know how stupid that makes me feel. How you could just move on from everything we had. God Liv-" I cut him off. "It's T." I tell him. "No, no it's not. Not to me anyway. In my eyes you will never be T, you will never be Tomlinson. To me your a Horan and always will be!" He shouts. He goes mad. I can see him turning red. He starts to flip his bedside table. then chucks his pillows and sheets. Then throws his vase against the window shattering it. "Niall!" I shout and cup his face with my hands. His eyes start to pour. "Niall why are you crying?" I ask him nearly crying myself. "I miss you so much!" He sobs. "Niall, I'm with Louis. I miss you to but I just don't love you anymore." I tell him. He nods and crys more. I bring him into a hug making me stand on my tiptoes. I start to feel butterflies in my stomach, jumping around and fluttering and doing somersaults. I love Niall. I officially HATE my brain. I always do this. Think I love someone when in fact it was always the first person. I decide to ignore it. I mean I did love Louis, I can love him again. If I ignore it long enough it will go away. "I-I Gg-got to g-go." I stutter leaving as fast as I can because I know I will end up kissing Niall and knowing my luck Louis will see or find out then it will be over then I will leave the boys and go back to my stupid foster home. I push past someone. "T, what's up?" He asks. I look up and it's Zayn. "Oh, hi. Nothing. I'm fine just need the toilet." I lie and fake smile in one. "Oh." He chuckles. Thanks me. Now I HAVE to go in the bathroom for a while and just stand there. I enter the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror and fix my hair. I think of everything. My parents dead. Louis and Niall. Fame. Being followed everywhere. Hate on Twitter. I start to cry. I didn't even know I was this upset. I try to keep quite but then I see my razor. "Hello old friend." I whisper. I haven't done this in ages. DON'T DO IT. STOP! NOT AGAIN! PLEASE IT HURTS! My head screams but this time my body takes over. I try to stop but my hand reaches to the razor. I cry more. It tears my skin apart and blood instantly pours out of my fresh cut. I wince at the pain. "You been in there ages!" I hear Zayn shout. "Coming!" I shout back and bandage up my cut. Luckily out bandages matches my skin. "Hi." I smile and quickly walk to my room. I'm back to the beginning. I though I finally knew who I loved but I really don't they are both great guys. I'm so confused. 

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