"Isabella Adele Storm, will you marry me?" I look at her, she might be in shock. Faintly she nods her head. A smile grows on my face, getting bigger and bigger as I get up and take her body in my arms.
"Thank you, I love you." I whisper.
I look at the ring around the small finger of my fiancee. I take her hand in mine. I feel the tears coming out of my eyes again, streaming down my still wet cheeks. Why? Why did she try to take herself away frorm me?
"Niall?" I turn around to see Louis standing in the doorway. I nod and turn back to Isabella. Why? flashes through my mind again. I know she's insecure, about herself, what others think of her, what I think of her, what the fans think of her. And I know she doesn't have the greatest family when it comes to carin about eachother. But I thought having me and the boys would be enough.
"I... I can't tell you how sorry I am, mate." Louis lays his hand on my shoulder, I nod again. Not trusting my voice to speak without cracking.
I look away from her hand, up to her arms. To the scars I noticed too late, that almost took her life. I should have been there for her. I should have noticed. I should have looked her right in the eye and told her I knew she wasn't okay... I should have...
"Did you know about it?" He asks. Out of the boys, she was closest to Louis.
I shake my head, not able to control the sobs any longer. My head falls down to her arm and I cry. "I should have... I should have..." I say repeately.
Louis sinks down into the chair besides mine. "It's alright Niall, nobody did. Don't blame yourself. She'll wake up again."
I look at him, my view is blurred because of the tears. "Not blame myself? How is that possible? I am her fiance for God's sake. How can I not blame myself."
"I'm not here to argue with you. I'm here to help you, you know that. But a thing you should know, is that when Isabella will wake up, she'll feel as miserable as before... maybe even more. Maybe we should find a way to tell her how much she means to us, all of us. Show her we love her." He rubs my back. I sigh and nod. That's a great idea, to be honest.
"That's a good idea, Lou." I think for a minute. "Could you do something for me?"
"I think I could."
"Could you buy me a notebook from the shop down in here? I might have an idea for myself." Louis smiles at my words.
"Of couse I will, I'll be back in a bit." He stands up and walks out of the room, leaving me alone with Isabella again.
A few hours later I sit alone with my new notebook at the side of my fiancee's bed. I open it and write in my first ever journal.
Dear diary? Isabella?
That's probably better, as I am writing this for you.
Here we are then, you lying in that cold hospital bed and me sitting here writing this for you. I wish it had never came to this. That you had told me about everything, but we can't turn back time, can we?
Louis told me we should think of a way to show you how much you mean to us, all of us. The boys, the girls, my family, everyone. I know you're insecure and I know you probably will be for as long as you may live, but that's fine. It's one of the little things that make you who you are, and I love you for that. But I hope you will start to see how much we love you, how much I love you.
I don't know how long it will take for you to open your beautiful eyes, but that's something to worry about later on.
But for now, I will write why I love you. Every day that you are lying there, I will write another reason, explaining my love for you.
I will have to start this tomorrow, seeing it is already half to midnight.
I know you probably can't hear me, but I just said goodnight to you, and that I love you.
Sleep tight, my princess.