When we were finally finished at the evening, Jus and I were totally k.o. and lay on the sofas in the living room. Empty pizza boxes lay on the table and I had my eyes closed. Nick had left hours ago. My muscles screamed with the effort and I felt as if I had been divided into several parts.
One part of me wanted to finally go home, take a bath, go to bed and do the same again the next day.
Another part wanted to beat Justin and finally shake him awake.
Another part wanted to just never rise again off the soft sofa.
Slowly I opened my eyes and looked at Justin. He also was stretched out on a sofa and held his eyes closed.
"Justin, I think I have to go home," I said, clearing my throat when he didn’t answer me.
"Justin?," I asked, sitting up slowly. But there was no answer.
I put a hand on his shoulder and shook him gently, but he didn't respond, just a little snoring sounded. I chuckled and then looked around the room.
I slowly got up, took a note and a pen and wrote that I had gone home when he was asleep, and if we should practice again tomorrow, he could probably count again until around twelve with me, because I was quite k.o.. I signed and put the piece of paper obviously on the table, so that he had to see it right when he woke up.
Then I looked at Justin and again flowed through me the feeling that he still had to recognize me. Self-doubt grabbed me, but I was too exhausted that I could fend them off. A tear rolled down my cheek, but I paid no attention to it. I grabbed my bags and left his house.
Two hours later I was showered and lay dumb in my bed. I had no desire to talk to anyone or to write to someone. I had shut down my Phone after my twitter almost explodes from massages with threats by Beliebers. I had some whatsapp messages and missed calls, but I paid no attention to all of that. I just lay motionless in my bed and drank tea.
Suddenly there was a knock at my door and it opened. Jeremy stuck his head through the gap and looked at me with concern.
"Mom has made your favorite food," he said and walked into my room with a plate of steaming lasagna and next to it laid a few spring rolls. In his other hand he held a sweet and sour sauce and he smiled at me slightly.
I made room for him on my bed and he sat down beside me. The dish and the sauce he put on my bedside table and then looked at me a long time.
"How was today?," he asked and I shrugged my shoulders. "Don't feel like talking?," he asked and I shook my head. "Okay... then eat. I come back later, okay?"
He said and was about to get up, but I said "Stay." He nodded and sat down again.
We sat quiet next to each other. I ate and sobbed a few times and Jeremy just sat quietly beside me. When I was finished I drank a sip of tea again and after I had put my cup on the table, he gave me a hug.
Slowly, I began to cry and said, "I'm just so hurt."
Jeremy nodded and hugged me tighter.
Although I was the whole time depressed because of Justin, by now I realized what he had done to me. The love for him had destroyed me, it felt as if I was an empty shell and only through the pain in me I lived on. I had lost him, and now I knew it was forever. And this pain... this pain was agony.
Eventually I fell asleep and woke up the next day, when someone shook my shoulder. I mumbled a "Leave me alone", but the person didn’t stop. I rubbed my eyes and finally opened them with an acidic "What do you want?!" and I gave a startled loud from me, when I saw who had shaken me awake.
Justin stood with a broad grin in front of me. In my room. And it was not a dream.
"Good morning, sunshine!" he said, then pointed to a bag on my bedside table. "I brought breakfast. My mom said that was a good idea, so we could work directly. Scooter puts the pressure, you know? Oh, and I got your message and I have also tried to call you, but my calls didn’t get through. Well, anyway, now I'm here!" He smiled widely at me while I looked at him confused and didn't know what to say.
Next to me now came a sigh, followed by an annoyed groan with the words "Can you please throw this asshole out?"
Justin looked at me confused and then looked behind me. Also I turned around around and discovered Jeremy as he rubbed his eyes and then looked at me sleepily. Then he sat up and looked at Justin.
His eyes were hard and cold, flashing with hate.
I looked over at Justin, who now looked at me again and he began to stutter "I - I didn’t know that you have a boyfriend..." He shook his head and I said "That's my brother."
Immediately Justin calmed down, walked around the bed and held out a hand. "Justin Bieber," he introduced himself and my brother stared at him blankly.
"Are you totally stupid? Get out of here!," he said angry and stood up.
Jeremy was indeed my little brother, but he towered Justin by a few centimeters.
"Um," Justin stammered and looked to me for help.
I had to restrain myself that I didn't laugh. He deserved it, but still... there was this feeling...
"Wait downstairs", I said and Jeremy reached out his hand to me. I gave him the bag from my bedside table and he pressed it against Justin's chest.
"I'll walk you down, sunshine" he said, stressing the last word in disgust.
Justin turned around and Jeremy pushed him out of my room.
Never in my life I had loved my brother as much as now.
Justin was sitting on a bar stool and turned slightly back and forth. He was humming something and seemed very thoughtful. I loitered at a kitchen niche, arms crossed and looked down at him. The jaw hard, face tensed, but I could imagine that the hatred was reflected in my eyes.
"How did you get in here?," I broke the silence and he looked at me but didn't stop turning.
"I've rang, but no one has opened the door. So I called Sasha who told me where you hide your spare key."
"And then you decide to just walk into someones house?," I asked and he nodded.
"Who do you think you are anyway?," I asked and he answered soberly "I am Justin Bieber."
I rolled my eyes and muttered "Asshole", loud enough so he could hear it.
Justin stopped spinning, leaned his arms on the table in front of him and looked at me seriously. I expected insults, threats, everything. But not what he actually said.
"Does your sister have a boyfriend?"
"What's wrong with you?!," I asked, perplexed and loud. "Do you really think just because you're famous and have a lot of money you can have every girl in the world?"
"No," Justin replied calmly. "I know I am able to show her more than money and fame. Such as my good character and my willpower. I don't use girls and have several girlfriends at the same time. I only want to know if your sister has a boyfriend." His gaze slid away from me and he stared dreamily at the wall. "She's something special", he began to rave. "She has expressive eyes and incredible talent. She also has a great sense of humor and, as she told me, your entire family comes originally from Canada. With her, I get back the feeling of a piece of home and normalcy that I had lost... It's weird. It's a really strange feeling. Mainly because we know each other for only a few days."
Now he looked back at me and recoiled, because the anger seemed to be written in my face.
"You'll stay away from my sister!," I yelled and took a few steps towards him.
"I know guys like you", I said again, a little quieter. "You are acting as a girl would mean everything to you. You are doing everything so that everyone knows you and knows how much you like her. You let her family and her friends think that you would really love her. But if it comes the opportunity to move up, whether in social company or to a hotter girl, then the poor thing is regardless left behind and you cut her out of your life, because you just don't care!"
Justin shook his head and protested. "I'm not like this, I swear!"
"So you've never done this before?" I asked and he shook his head again.
"Liar!" I yelled and stood in front of him, only the table still separated us. "I will not tell you this again. Stay away from Grace or you'll regret it." I moved off a piece. "Now get out. You know where the door is."
"But I am waiting for Grace! I've extra brought breakfast!"
I grabbed the bag and held it in front of him.
"One hundred meters away from here is a park. You must have seen it on your way. Not to miss. She'll come looking for you. Now get out."
He swallowed, took the bag, nodded and ran straight to the door.
Just as he opened it, I said "I never want to see you again unannounced. And come best when I'm not at home."
He didn't turn towards me, but nodded and left.
Relieved, I sighed and I got tears in my eyes. What had become of him? What had become of us all?
"What a game!" John exulted, our coach. "You were really incredible out there on the ice! A real team! The training has paid off, you were unbeatable!"
He made us a few more compliments and then left with food promises the room. We guys glanced at each other and began really to cheer. We couldn't believe that we had won. Ryan turned the music on loud.
After we had showered and said goodbye to the other guys, Jus and I were in front of the large hall. Mom had invited him to dinner because she knew that Pattie wasn't there. It was pretty cold, but we didn't complain about the fact that Mom needed long to pick us up.
We both had a big grin on our faces and talked about the best moments of the game until Jus suddenly changed the subject.
"And... how's Grace?," he asked suddenly, I looked at him in surprise.
"Uh, pretty good, I think. She spends the weekend with dad, they watch something like a romantic comedy at the cinema."
"Does she have a boyfriend?"
I laughed and looked at him. "You sound as if you were in love with her," I said laughing and he looked at me uncertainly.
"Oh. Oh," I realized and was ashamed that I had talked about it that way.
He cleared his throat and said softly, "I can understand if you don't want that or if you don't agree..."
"No, no. That's just... unexpected," I said, then corrected myself directly. "No, actually it's not. Well, it doesn't matter. So, she has no boyfriend. She is single."
He smiled at me slightly and asked "Do you think I have chances with her?"
"Of course! You just have to have the courage to tell her that!," I said and he smiled at me.
While we waited for my mom we thought about how Justin could get a date with my sister and see if it would actually work out between the two.
I was happy - not only because my best friend raved about my sister and he certainly had chances with her, but I knew that Grace would have it good with him.
I rubbed over my eyes and opened the fridge when I heard Grace's footsteps on the stairs.
"Where's Justin?," she asked. I cleared my throat and told her that he would wait in the park for her.
"You shouldn't get so fed up, that isn't good for you. I can do it by myself, don't worry", she said, and then left the house.
"Yeah, right", I whispered, not knowing what to think about it.