Harry Moffer & the Dumbest Story Ever

The story is nothing more than a full-on parody of the Harry Potter books, but this time, all references to magic are removed and replaced with nothing more than blatant realism. 14-year-old Harry Hames Moffer is an orphan living with his paranoid relatives when he is invited to attend Warthogpox High School. Harry meets Pun Teasley and Hildegarde Lamer, and they investigate the unpopular Larry Dobber books, which Hollyword could turn into a movie if they don't act fast.

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20. To Be Continued...

A word of caution

This book pokes fun at everything. You already know this.

But to give you an example of what it makes fun of, here’s a list of everything that the book has mocked so far:

1. Larry Dobber by K. B. Tipling: the worst-selling children’s book series that is threatening to turn itself into a major Honnyword movie unless it is stopped. Here are the books in order: Larry Dobber & the Soothsayer’s Bone / Larry Dobber & the Pholospher’s Chrone, Larry Dobber & the Cahbmer of Sercets, Larry Dobber & the Poisoner of Altazan, Larry Dobber & the Cup of Burnt Oil, Larry Dobber & the Legoin of the Penguinz, Larry Dobber & the Quarter-Vail Plince, Larry Dobber & the Deadly Hammers.

2. The Blightnight Snaga by Bethenie Leyar: paranormal romance about a girl and a fampire, which was embraced by scores of young girls everywhere.

3. Innovation Chain by Chirstofar Pailname: written by a teenager, long maligned for glorifying fire-breathing destructive flying oversized lizards. 

4. Kercy Mackson & the Asgardians by Nick Weirdon: a mixture of modern-day fantasy and mythology. 

5. Children of the Bread Ping series (also known as the Narlie Tone series) by Penny Limmo: Long maligned as a Larry Dobber lookalike, this series centers on a young boy with strange powers who gets with other kids with strange powers and fights against adults with strange powers.

6. The Starvation & Fight to the Death Games by Zucanne Follins: a controversial dystopian tale about a girl who wins fame and respect by shooting rocks at her rivals for the enjoyment of a bunch of kid-hating adults. 

7. Atalan Swan by Ein Copper: the story of a kid posing as a mafia don who dared to mess with fairies. 

8. Soul Taker Trilogy by Nessel Harrymann: A medieval-type story that was banned in the USA for having a gay hero, but became a bestseller everywhere else.

* * * * *

And Now For The Unnecessary List of Characters That Were Unfortunate Enough To Be In This Story

In this story, we know enough about the characters in order to warrant their appearance in it. As such, we have the audacity to inform you about who will be on the list as of right now.

The characters are as follows:

1. Harry Hames Moffer: the unfortunate hero of the story.

2. Loomius Tafrin: caretaker of Warthogpox High School.

3. Halfus Snibblepore: headmaster of Warthogpox High School.

4. Joe MacLean: former student of Warthogpox High School who agrees to take care of Harry while he attends Warthogpox.

- Dianna: Joe’s wife.

- Lars: Joe’s son.

- Sierra: Joe’s daughter.

5. Jill Roseberry: Warthogpox High School student and Harry’s friend/rival.

6. Athira MacFordlepad: math teacher.

7. Damuos GiXus-Bowes: English teacher.

8. Celevus Pate: science teacher.

9. Wom Dibble: history teacher (formerly known as Gourd Maldycart, a stage magician).

10. Madame Forch: gym teacher.

11. Conoga Clout: home economics teacher.

12. Pun Teasley: Harry’s best friend (likes speaking in puns and riddles; youngest son in an unnecessarily large family).

13. Hildegarde Lamer: Harry’s other best friend.

14. Neramill Flatbutton: cowardly boy; Jill’s best friend.

15. Domro Wilfy: Harry’s arch-nemesis.

16. Tarcey Pate: son of Celevus Pate; Harry’s nemesis.

17. Junia Brown: Harry’s nemesis.

18. Oscar Hernandez: Hispanic exchange student.

19. Quintos Quinnell: civics teacher.

20. Mr. Silch: cruel janitor of Warthogpox High School.

There are other characters that are also mentioned in this story, but until they show up and do something that moves the story along, they won’t be on the list. I did not include the Dourfeys for obvious reasons.

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