I wanted to hug Louis, to kiss him, I never wanted him to go again, but I couldn't. I looked up at Louis but he faced the ground. 'I'm so sorry Harry.' He said before leaving the room. I sighed.
The whole day was a blur. We did nothing and ablolutely nothing. By the afternoon I wanted to talk to Louis but I couldn't find him. After searching the whole hotel I ended up in our hotelroom again. Then I noticed there was a note on my pillow. Mu stomach made a turn.
I think it's not fair what I'm doing to you.
You deserve much better.
By the time you read this, I'm on my
way backt to England.
Please just let me go.
Everything will be so much easyer.
Know that you are my one and only,
Keep that band going.
He can't do this to me! He can't just leave the band, he can't just leave me! In panic I ran to the lounge and warned the boys. Their first reaction was disbelief, but when I showed them the note thay all agreed to go back. But we couldn't, we had to go on. If we would go home now that would be the end of One Direction. And would it change anyrthing about the realtionship between me and Louis? He couldn't handle the pressure anymore. If I go back, nothing is going to change. But if I stay I will slowly die inside. I was losing it, and Liam had to hold me to stop my body from shaking. 'So what are we going to do now?' Niall asked. 'There are two options: Or we end the band and go home, or we go on with the four of us.' Zayn said, sounding unsure. 'Is the band even going to work without Louis?' Liam asked. 'We should try.'
The first concert without Louis, it was horrible. I wanted to cry, to scream, I wanted someone to realise it just doesn't work this way. The tour in America was getting to his end and soon we would go to Australia. I didn't feel like traveling away even more but at least the Aussies were exited.
The plane flight made me feel sick and tired even though I couldn't sleep. In the hotel they put Niall, Liam and Zayn together in a room and me in another. It's like modest does this on purpose. I don't even know how long this band is going to stand without Louis. Ofcourse the boys were upset, Niall needed Liam all the time to prevent losing it all, and Zayn didn't say anything, he just went trough it by painting and drawing his feelings.
Now I was alone in my room, lying on the bed, crying. I felt like since me and Louis broke up I didn't stop crying. Eventually I texted Micheal, trying to find some comfort.
hey mate, how are you?
not that good, sitting here alone...
they put Niall, Zayn and Liam together in a room and me apart
what no?! your manegment are real monsters
there is nothing to do about it...
yes there is!
what are you going to do?
I was lying on my bed, trying to figure out what Michael meant. Just as I started dozing of someone knocked on the door and almost gave me a heart attack. A little dizzy I walked over to the door. It was propably someone from modest to make my day worse. But when I opened the door I found Michael instead. Without thinking about it I quickly hugged him tight. 'Woah, are you so happy to see me?' Michael chuckled. 'Yeah! I had no idea you'll visit me.' 'I'm not just visiting, I'm picking you up. I don't leave far away from here and me parents told me it's okay so, follow me!' I was actually really happy. 'But are you sure, I mean...I don't know I'm alou-' Michael interrupted me by pulling my arm.
Once at his hous I was warmly welcomed by his parents. We dat ourself in the living room and talked about random stuff. 'I think you are such a brave child.' Micheal's mum said. I smiled. It were very lovely people. We ate dinner and then Michael showed me his room. 'There are only two bedrooms.' Michael said, scratching the back of his head. 'I'll sleep on the sofa.' I said. 'No! No! No way! I'll sleep on the sofa, you can take me bed.' Michael argued.
We both sat on his bed, talking about the past months. Sudeently Michael grabbed my wrist and pulled my sleef up. 'You still cut?' He asked in shock. I didn't have an answer ready. 'Please don't, do you realise that's going to be there forever? And it's nothing going to change anything.' I yanked me arm back. 'I know but it's my way to release stress!' 'I...I'm sorry, I didn't want to upset you.' I answered by laying my head on his shoulder. 'I want to stop but it's just so hard...' Michael rubbed my back. 'I'll be there for you, and I'll help you stop.'