I didn't know why I did that. Hurt her, I mean. I didn't realize it until she pushed me away. What's wrong with me? Was I turning into monster or something?
Well, it's not like it was my fault. She is the one who needs to get her head straight. After our talk with Jake, I can't figure out anything at all. All of a sudden, I feel like I'm lost in the middle of something I'm barely even a part of. Somehow, I am trying my best to help Natalie but now, I don't see how I can help her.
When I got inside my hotel room, I heard a loud chorus of trained voices singing, "And here comes the ultimate comedian…", there was fake drum roll, "The Sass master from Doncaster! Yay! Go Tommo!"
I looked up immediately. It was the lads. All four of them, dressed in jeans and T-shirts. Only Harry was shirtless( what did you expect?) and Niall had a 'I ♥ NY' cap on his head.
But wait. I didn't understand.
"What are you guys doing here?" I asked the lads, who were completely thrown off-guard by my not-so-immused expression.
Liam explained."We did the end shows all in one day and got here to see you, mate!" We both high-fived.
"Oh." I didn't expect that. "Thanks guys." I smiled forcibly.
Niall's phone started to ring. "Oh, that must be the pizza. I'll get it." He ran out of the room.
The lads took their places on the couch and switched on the TV. But I already had too much on my mind. I brushed off my hair with my hands, and said "Hey, you guys do what you want. I'll just.. Umm.. I'll just rest a while, if you don't mind." I started to walk towards the bedroom.
"Hey, that's rude!" Harry got up and stopped me. "We came to far to see you, man! At least tell us how you've been." Zayn and Liam nodded in agreement.
I sighed. "Well, I've been good, Harold. Now, if you will please excuse me." I pushed him aside, but this time Liam came in and joined him. Meanwhile, my head seemed to grow heavier by the second.
Liam seemed curious. ""Is there something going on here, Louis? You seem exhausted."
"I just need to rest." Thats all I had to say.
Zayn asked me, "Hold it. Why are you staying here? Don't you always stay in Natalie's place when you come to New York?"
My patience ran out. "I don't know, Zayn! Ok?! And thank you Liam, for noticing that. Yes, I am, in fact, massively exhausted. I mean, who wouldn't be if they got to know that their girlfriend is pregnant? And that too, with someone else's child. So yes, I am indeed pretty worn out." I didn't want them to know about this. But it was too late. I had already spilled the beans.
Their reactions were something I've heard far too many times."WHAT??" Their eyes were almost protruding out.
I breathed deeply and sat down, covering my face. "Yes. I know it seems surreal. But it is what it is. And I seriously don't know what to do!" I looked up to them. "That is why I left the tour in such a hurry. I wanted to help out Natalie. But now, it's such a disaster here."
I decided to tell them right from the beginning, refusing to let out any minute details. I needed help right now, and if this was gonna bring in some hope, so be it.
When I finished, all of them fell silent.
I asked. "See how messed up this is? And its not like I wanna quit on her right now. I just don't know how not to quit. Because, as far as I can see, there is no way I can help her. It all seems just so pointless. God, this is so difficult for me! I wanna be there for her, but how can I? I'm not even a part of this, really! And then, there is the baby. What am I gonna do about it? Take it as my own child? Because I don't think I can." I closed my eyes and shook my head. "I don't have the slightest clue about what I should do!"
Zayn started to laugh. As in, he went all 'Hahaha' for at least a minute.
What the hell?
"You think this is funny, Zayn?" I wanted to punch him.
Zayn sat down in front of me, and explained. "Do you realize that whatever you've been saying for the last couple of minutes is all like, 'I don't, I can't, I this, I that'."
Is he trying to give me an English lesson?
I asked, "So?"
"You don't get it, do you?" He looked straight at me and added, "No offense, but this is really not about you Louis."
I think that was the moment when I realized something: Have I been blind all this time?
Zayn kept going. "Look man, I'm not saying that this is not hard for you. Of course it's difficult. I mean, I can barely imagine what it must be like to be in a situation like this. But you must know that, it's way harder for Natalie. She has a baby of a stranger, and she has to worry about you and your relationship. And the media? That is a problem enough because that thing never ever shuts down. And if the odds are in favor, then her career might even end."
Zayn had a point I couldn't overlook.
But I still had an unanswered question. "So what should I do?"
Harry said, "The best you can do is just be there for her."
"What do you mean 'be there for her'?" I wanted to know.
Liam smiled. "Make her believe that she can count on you." He pushed me. "Now take the car and go, dumb!"
I grinned. I took the car keys, and headed out of the door.
Right then, Niall popped the door open, trying to balance three pizza cases on each hand. On top of his right hand, the top-most pizza case was open, only half of a pizza lying inside. Niall's mouth was full.
Before he could gulp down the bolus, I snatched a pizza case from him and ran to my car.
Behind my back, I heard Niall ask the lads, "So, what did I miss?"