13. A chill evening
I have no idea what is wrong, so I just try to calm her down. She must have imagined some kind of sound, since she is holding her hands over her ears. I haven't heart a thing other than the sound of the oven and our kisses. She is shaking, tears still streaming from her eyes, when she looks up at me. “What happened?” I ask her in a soft tone. She blinks a couple of times before answering; “Do you remember the guy I told you about yesterday?” I nod as an answer and she starts talking again; “He spoke to me. Told me I am useless, ugly and fat. It brought back some pretty bad memories about dreams I've had and our time together. I wish that when stuff like this happen I just could shut it off, but it is impossible for me.” She looked up at me with big blue eyes and I realized that when she is sad, I'm sad and when she is happy I'm happy too. This makes me feel really uncomfortable and I would do anything to make her feel better. I hug her tight into me and whisper too her; “It's going to be okay honey. He isn't anywhere near you and if he ever does get close to you again, I will personally beat his ass! You are the most perfect and beautiful girl I have ever met and I will do anything to make you feel better.” I kissed her on the top of her head and she slowly let go of me so I did too. “Thank you Mitch,” she says while she is trying to fix her hair and her eyes. They are pretty red, when she goes over to the sink and starts scrubbing potatoes. I join her there and we are quickly done.
A couple of hours have passed, where we have just been laying on one of the couches. The food is done soon and we start laying the table. She seems happier, but still quite shocked from the incident earlier. I think she has some kind of traume, from what has happened in her past. She gets the meat out of the oven and I call the guys down. The table is now filled with potatoes, the meat, some kind of traditional Danish cabbage dish and a gravy, made of the juices from the cooked pork. It all looked pretty promising, but I don't really know about the cabbage – I've never really liked it. The boys all get out from their rooms and sit around the table. Karoline smiles as she sits down next to me and grabs one of my hand. “I hope you guys like it,” she says and take my hand. Ir can feel that she is really nervous.
I get really nervous in situations like this. The potatoes have to be cooked perfectly and the skin on the meat has to be crispy – otherwise this dish won't be anything special. “It's what we usually eat for Christmas back at home,” I say as the guys start putting food on their plates. Quentin smiles at me and says; “Then it's something special, isn't it?” I guess he's right, but I've grown up with it so I just shrug and start putting cabbage on my plate. We all start to eat and they seem to really like it, so my nerves calms a bit. They are all small-talking while they eat and I just observe. I feel good here and safe for that matter, I just have to stop thinking on all the stuff that makes me feel insecure and unhappy. I am perfectly happy with Mitch, it's just that my past keeps coming back to me in the weirdest possible ways.
After everyone is done eating we clear up the table and kitchen together. I'm pretty tired after the day's events, so I hope the rest of day is going to be chill. To my relief we just go to the couches and watch some tv. I snuggle up next to Mitch and he starts stroking my hair, just like he did earlier. This is the kind of lifestyle I want. This makes me happy.