23. Ugh. I can't stay away any longer
Hey guys! Sorry for not posting in like forever! I've been meaning to post for te past few weeks but I kept forgetting. Also, I was gonna post yesterday but I forgot which email I used for this account. I have been on a lot for the pass month, but I had to re-log in cuz my iPod doesn't have iOS 7 so I can't write the story on there. Anywho let's get this story to keep going. Oh and one last thing, I completely forgot what the depressing moment was supposed to be so yeah. I mean after all, this happened a month ago. Ok this has gone long enough. Byee!!
when I came back to school, I was still really mad at John. Joseph too. But dakarai wasn't holding up as well with our not-talking-to-them rule and he broke it alot. Me and Ryann would get into fights with John and we would say it was his fault and he would blame it all on Joseph. I couldn't believe that just 5 days ago we were dating and happy. Now look at us. I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to.
For the next few days, my anger cooled and the fights stopped, but I was still avoiding John on the most part. But there was something nagging at me. Something I'd been trying to forget. The fact that I made a vow to myself not to let him go. That's exactly what I was doing. I couldn't believe that I let him go when we were doing okay. Okay who am I kidding, we were a mess. He had broken up with me just two weeks before, and before that, we would fight and get mad way too often. Either way though, it broke my heart to let him go.
That's when I decided it. I needed him back. Without him, I just wouldn't be whole. I would be miserable. I would loose my best friend if I didn't keep fighting. I couldn't stop. I wouldn't give up.
The next day, a Thursday, I went over to Ruhama and told her to tell john that I want him back. That I miss him. She said okay and went and told him. When she came back she said he said "sure. Whatever she wants." I wasn't sure how to take that. But at the moment I didn't care. It meant I had my boyfriend back. It meant I was whole again.
I just wish I knew I would end up crumbling someone. Breaking their heart. Taking their hope and stomping on it. I just wish I knew what would happen next.