The next Monday, I went to school. I had told Ruhama to tell Joseph that I still like him but to make sure to mention I'm not going back to him. She said okay and that she would do it at recess.
*skip to recess*
Ruhama and Dominique and a few other girls are chasing Joseph around the field trying to get him to believe them. Then Ruhama and Dominique come up to me and say that he won't believe them unless it comes out of my mouth.
"Ughhhh!!!! Do I have too?!" I said in a whinny way.
"Yes. You do. Now get your butt over there and tell him!" Ruhama ordered.
"But he's playing soccer! I don't wanna interrupt. " I said.
"We interrupted and he didn't care! He just kept playing while we were talking. " Ruhama says.
"Fine, I'll tell him." I said while groaning. I almost didn't but I sorta had to.
When Joseph came up to me with Dakarai, he asked what I wanted to tell him, as if he didn't already know.
All I said was "what they said was true" while pointing behind me towards Ruhama and Dominique, before jumping off the playground and walking off with Miri.
"What are you going to do now?" She asked.
"I don't know. " I answered.
A lot of stuff happened while we were out there, including a bunch of my friends pushing me over to Joseph, and them all telling me to break up with John ( which I didn't).
We were all talking when I looked over at John and I saw it. "Oh great" I said sarcastically, making everyone follow my gaze. Joseph had walked up to John and they were talking about something pretty serious. When Joseph finished talking, John looked shocked and a bit hurt. "Girl your in trouble now!" Ruhama said. "Run! Quick run Valeria! Hide!" Alyssa practically shouted. I was only half listening. Did Joseph just tell John? I knew telling Joseph I'm not over him was a bad idea.
After recess, we had to do a few pages in our science workbooks. I was just working when I hear Mrs. Smith ask John what was wrong. I didn't look up from my work because I didn't want her to notice I was listening.
"Nothing." He answered.
"Are you tired?" She asked.
"Yeah" he said clearly lying.
Then, when I was in bus hall, Giona started talking to me.
"Do you like Joseph?" She said.
"What? No!" I lied. "Who told you that?"
"Joseph did." She said.
"What?" I said.
"Joseph B. said you like him. I was like ha in your dreams! She be talkin smack about you on the bus. If anything she hate you!" She said, in her sassy, ghetto way.
I blushed because she was wrong. Well she was right about the bus stuff but she was wrong about me hating him. I don't. Not anymore anyway.
"Actually, that was true..." I said.
"What?! You still... Joseph? But... You and John! That's messed up! Do you know how heart broken he could be! That's just cold!" She said, te first part of her statement was practically in gibberish.
"I know." I said, ashamed.
"Oh so that's what was wrong with him! Cuz remember Mrs. Smith as him what was wrong and-" I cut her off.
"Yeah I know. I noticed that too," I said. " do you think he's mad at me?" I asked her.
"Well he did look pretty pissed. " she said.
"Oh..." I said. Looking down. Alina was right next to me and I just stared down at my shoe, trying not to cry. I didn't wanna hurt John, I just needed to tell Joseph and get it off my shoulders. Now I might have lost the one boy who I have loved more than anyone. I fought back the tears.
Alina could see I was hurting and she tried to cheer me up. It worked a little but not entirely. Not even close.
On the bus, I just sat in my assigned seat alone and looked out the window, trying not to cry. It worked for the most part except one tear escaped. Luckily no one noticed.
When I was getting off the bus, I said bye to mrs. Tammy, the bus driver, and that's when I noticed how shaky my voice sounded. I was definitely on the verge of tears.
When I got inside I yelled hi to my mom and ran upstairs to say hi to them. Lucky for me, my voice was straight. From there I went down stairs with my iPod and turned on some music to listen to while doing homework. I had forgotten I had left the song "Jar of Hearts" by Christina Perri on replay. This song only made me feel worse because it felt like the song was about me. I decided to just have a nice good cry right there on the spot. I texted Alina and she answered immediately. "I can call him if you want. " she said. "Sure. Thx" I said. I had to wait till she was done with homework though.
I couldn't wait any longer. I texted John. "Hey. Please don't tell me ur mad at me. I'm crying my eyes out. If you have no clue what I'm talkin about, well I still like Joseph. But I love you. Just remember that I'm yours, and he isn't going to take me away. I'm here to stay. If I'm leaving, it's because you broke up with me." I sent. A good 20 minutes passed before he texted back. "I love you 2. But are you going to break up with me?" He said. "No. I could never do that even if I wanted to. I love you too much to do that. Remember what I said. I'm yours and he's not taking me away. "
"I kno" he answered.
"So are you mad?" I asked.
"No just upset. " he said. This made me get sad all over again. I really messed up.
"Sorry :(" I said.
"Are u sure?"
"Good. I love you."
"Love you too"
With that we ended our conversation. I was no longer crying and was really happy. Now I just had to do some homework. Ew.