Life of a teen

My story, my open diary, for you to read. I trust you.

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2. When chocolate is your best friend

 

28/12-13

Yes! I'm sobbing over not having a boyfriend. And maybe i wouldn't think so much about it, if it haden't been because everybody i know have someone. And before you know it, you find yourself under your blanket, hiding from the real world. When did i become this loser

 

And maybe that is the whole reason why i don't have a boyfriend in the first place? 

A friend of mine told me that, once you forget about the fact that you don't have a boyfriend, and just enjoy your life, you'll be happy, and then love will come and find you. So i'm supposed to stop looking, and then he will knock on my door? 

But in all seriousness it got me thinking; maybe i should just forget about boys? Maybe it's just time to focus on me. And the first thing to do? Eat chocolate, watch a girly movie, and then do something. I realised, that it's propably only a matter of time untill my friends freak about my freak out. Maybe i just wanted someone to love because it was christmas, the time of love. And now christmas is over, and i have gained some weight. Maybe i should start working out? When i work out, i think of nothing but the work out. It's nice to get your thoughts of your life for a while. 

But right now, it's just me and my chocolate. Actually, chocolate have the same effect as the feeling love, so if you think about it, you can almost be in love with chocolate or something like that. Okay i think i'm gonna shut up about that. 

A last bit of love then i'm going for a run. I'm going to run off all the weight i gained during christmas. Exaggeration people! I'll just go run a bit. 

 

My friend was over earlier, and busted me. Layinfg in bed watching a girly movie. Apparently she had called me seven times, but i was in my own little world. I feel... like i should definitly go do something productive. I promise! i really do! I'm normaly much stronger! But everybody go through a low point. And that was mine. But it's over! I'm not going to think about boys anymore.

 

Another reason why i should feel bad? now we're at it. I think i'm a little bit in love with one of my friends boyfriend. It's awful! And i'm really kind of good friends with him. We've played video games  together and watched movies. That has to stop! I have to shut him out. But i can't. Now that we're friends, it would be weird. wouldn't it? Maybe i should just cut it down a bit. Shut my feelings out. Or in. Lock them away in. somewhere deep inside me. That's what i did when me and my friend liked the same guy and he chose her. For two years i shut my feelings out, until one day when they were actually gone. And hopefully they're gone forever. 

Now if you'll excuse me, i have a run that's waiting for me. 

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