“God dammit where is she?!”
Amused, I watch my Dad pacing in nervous circles in the living room. Anne had left a little longer than an hour ago and he was already starting to panic.
“Chillax. Oh right you can’t do that because you did send her to a drugstore on Broadway, alone. If you ask me, it’s almost if you we’re begging for bad things to happen to her.” I say, rolling my eyes.
“Sophie not now. Please.” He silences me, pulling out his phone once more. He dials her number again. My father brings the phone to his ear, listening intently.
“Why isn’t she answering?!” He shouts after a minute, throwing his phone on the other side of the room. We both watch as it smashes into the wall and breaks.
“I have no idea why you just did that because I strongly doubt she would’ve felt it... and she certainly won’t call back now that you’ve ruined your phone.” I remark.
He clenches his fists.
“Shut up Sophie. Please. For once.” He lets out.
“What did you even want her to fetch?”
“Some stuff for you.”
I frown, sitting straighter on my chair.
“What kind of stuff?”
“Stuff to make you realise how wrong your relationship with those One Direction boys had been.”
“There’s not a chance that’ll happen,” I scoff.
“Don’t be so sure. There was some pretty intense stuff on that list. Like for example, ayahuasca. It gives you hallucinations. Carbogen on the other hand, makes you lose control over your body. Mix the two together and I’m pretty sure I could alter your train of thought,” The man I once knew as my dad threatens.
At that moment, I wanted to strangle him. Who was he? Who was he to want to change me forcefully?!
“Who’d drug their own daughter?!” I speak out loud, tugging lightly on the rope tying my hands together behind my back as I try to stand up.
“Don’t act so surprised Sophie... After all, your mother did sell you for alcohol, did she not?” He snaps despicably.
My heart clenches painfully.
“Because you abandoned us! She wouldn’t have turned to alcohol if you wouldn’t have deserted us!” I yell angrily, struggling to get off the chair and hurt him. “I wouldn’t have fucking started to self-harm either for that matter! Everything is your fucking fault!” I shout.
“Are you expecting me to act all sorry?” He retorts, a mask of disgust on his face. “Because I’m not. I had Anne to think about. I left you and your mother because I got informed that the Australian couple to whom we had given Anne in adoption, had vanished. She was ten years old, left alone to surf different orphanages! Someone had to take care of her!”
I slow down my breathing, calming myself.
“Then why did you bother to come back for me, after all those years, if Anne was more important?” I ask coolly, my eyes never leaving his. “No I have an even better question. How did you even know where I was?” I continue indignantly.
“Ashley gave me a call about two years ago, saying you we’re spending time with her. Obviously, I asked why you we’re in England. She told me you had had troubles with a certain boy band.” He pauses, looking at me pointedly.
“They weren’t troubles.” I snap.
“They were at the time...You didn’t think they were a problem when you started to feel pity for them or whatever the attraction you developed towards them is called. You didn’t see them as a menace when that Irish boy talked sweet to you, made you swallow all his lies eagerly.”
“Niall did not―”
“But anyways Ashley told me everything was under control, and that you needed some funds to move in with your friend Emily in Ireland. I sent her the money. Then, about four months ago, she called again panicked, saying you weren’t responding to any of her texts. Anne and I decided to investigate.”
“Anne? Why would she even care?!” I retort.
“Sophie, you we’re brainwashed. She wanted to help her sister, get to know her. Of course she cared.” My father reasons softly, sitting on the couch in front of me.
“For the billionth time, I was not brainwashed!” I snarl. “Nobody cared for me, a part from them! From One Direction! Of course I went and accepted their affection! Things were better as soon as I did!”
“I cared for you Sophie.” He sighs, bending down to look at me in the eyes.
“But I didn’t know that! You didn’t let mom and I know about your whereabouts! How was I supposed to know you were still concerned about me?”
“Your mother knew.”
I need to rerun that phrase in my head a couple times to understand it.
“What? No. She became alcoholic because of your departure.” I protest after a couple seconds.
“Well I think she made you believe that, because she certainly knew she had another daughter. She’s the one who told me to go leave you two and find Anne.”
Wow my life has been a lie.
I slump down in my chair as the news sinks in painfully.
“Why would she do that? It doesn’t make sense.” I mutter to myself.
“Maybe she just wanted to make you think she had a good reason to go back to being alcoholic.” My father shrugs, standing up.
“Go back? You mean she already was?”
The pile of lies that is my life makes me nauseous.
“Before we married, you mother was an alcoholic.” He nods. “Nevertheless, to get back to what I was saying, Anne and I found out as much as we could about One Direction, trying to decipher what it was that made you wanna stay with them. We didn’t find a what, but a who.”
I did not like where that was going. At all.
“So you see, I was driving, and I saw him walking on the road.”
No. No. No. That wasn’t my Dad.
“He was the main reason you decided to quit fighting your fondness for these perverted boys. So I thought maybe if he was out of the picture, your mind could clear itself. So I hit him with my car.”
Realisation dawns on me.
Niall’s accident. It was my Dad’s fault. My Dad’s the reason Niall’s emotions were so messed up.
“You’re a fucking bastard you know that?!” I scream.
The back of his hand collides with my cheek.
“Watch your language young lady. You owe me. You owe me for saving you.”
“Go save your other daughter. I do not wish to be saved.” I seethe lowly, wanting him as far away from me as possible.
“That’s what you think.” He retorts, before reaching for the house phone. He dials the number once more.
I watch the man with hatred.
“That’s it; I’m going to go find her.” The stranger ends, putting on his coat. He checks the bindings on my chair, gives me a desolate look, and leaves.
“Good riddance.” I whisper, melting into a puddle of warm tears.