Letters to Grandfather

A semi-autobiographical story. Sarah Phillips's grandfather has just passed away. She copes with the loss by writing in a diary like she is writing to him.


2. 11 September 2013

Dear Grandad,

It's been almost a month since you...went away.

A friend of mine suggested that I start writing in a diary, to "just get it all out".  It felt strange writing to some...thing that doesn't reply.  It still does a bit, but when I decided to write to you instead it felt right somehow even though I know you will never write back.  I guess it's because I always felt like I could tell you anything and everything.

Just the other day, I caught myself going to the phone to call you to tell you about my day.  I miss you so much.

Sometimes I feel like you are still there.  Even now I feel like you are looking over my shoulder as I write this.

Do you remember the kid's film Grandpa?  I was watching it last night and I actually cried at the end.  I'd never done that before; I suppose it's because I now know how the little girl felt when she couldn't find her grandfather anywhere.  I feel just like she did, like I'm always looking for you and calling out to you but I can't find you and nor can you answer.  Because you're not here anymore.

Grandad, will this pain ever go away?


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