9. chapter 9
Harry didn't even try to hold back the tears this time. "You're not going back there." he said through tears and I looked away, not wanting to look him in the eyes. I know he's wrong but I can't help but feel bad. "And why's that!? You clearly don't give a fuck about me!" I yelled. I made myself jump as it wasn't supposed to come out as loud as it did. "Because I don't want this.." He grabbed my wrists. "To happen again!" He yelled through his tears.
I don't know what got into me and trust me I'm not forgiving him this fast but I wrapped my arms around him and just hugged him. As soon as I really realised what I was doing I pulled back. "What doesn't Harry want to happen again...?" Liam asked quietly. The four boys slowly got up and walked over to me. They slowly took my arm, looking me in the eyes as if they were asking for my permision. I looked away and they turned around my arm. I slowly looked back at them to see they all had watery eyes. But why? Why do they care?
Zayn took a step foreword, not saying anything he stared into my eyes with his watery ones for what seemed like forever until he opened up his arms and wrapped them around my small body. I stood there, sobbing into his chest as everyone stayed quiet. "Is that why he doesn't want me?" I whispered so only Zayn could hear it. His grip thightened slightly. "It's not." He mumbled into my hair. His voice sounded different...
"Do you hate me now?" I said in once again the lowest whisper so only he could hear me. "I'd never hate you." He whispered before kissing my hair. "Promise?" I whispered. "Promise." He whispered back. I stood on the tip os my toes and kissed his cheek softly before pulling back from his comforting hug.
"I just want to go to my brother." I sniffled and then it was Louis' turn to hug me. "I'll take you to see your brother." He told me and I smiled. "Really?" I asked smiling slightly. He nodded and kissed my forehead. "But Harry's right, you have to live with us at least until we know that this won't happen again, okay?" He asked referring to my scarred wrists. I nodded and he smiled, kissing away some tears.
Harry walked over to me and tried to hug me but I shrugged him off. "Just- Just don't touch me." I whispered and he looked me straight in the eyes. Those beautiful green eyes I loved, the ones with the cute sparkle in them, they weren't there anymore... they were replaced with ones that were full of hurt, sadness and guilt, the sparkle had dissapeared, leaving his eyes dull, the only thing letting them shine slightly being the tears in them.
I wanted to hug him, I wanted to tell him everything's alright and that I love him, that we can just forget about all of this and just leave all of this behind us. But I don't know if I can. Because the truth is, it's not alright and I truely don't know if I'll be able to forget. I can't just leave this behind me and act like nothing happens when everything just hurts like hell. I looked away from his eyes, not able to look at them anymore, not able to see his hurt anymore. I know he's the one who hurt me but I have this weird feeling in my stomach, making me angry when I think of the fact that I'm the one who let the sparkle in his other happy eyes dissapear, even though it's because of something he did. I sighed at my thoughts as they only made me more confused and frustrated.
I glanced over at Liam who still stood in the possion as he saw my wrists in. His fists were clenched and he was all tightened up. I just wrapped my arms around his tense body. He lost all the tension but didn't hug me back. He looked me straight in the eyes. "Who did this?" He asked, making me confused. "Who was the reason you found it okay to do this to yourself?" He asked and I looked down.
"My parents' jobs weren't the only reason of all of our moving. I used to get bullied for being fat and ugly. I guess that's what pushed me into my depression and eating disorder. I myself feel like the fact I didn't really have someone to talk to played a big part, due to my parents never being around and I couldn't just go to my brother all the time, I just didn't want to bother him since he's done so much for me." I spoke softly and Liam shook his head.
A loud bang made me jump and turn around. Harry had punched a wall and he now ran a hand through his hair in frutration. "Why'd you never tell me!?" He yelled full of hurt and anger. I looked down and he let out a groan. "Damn it Skylar!" He yelled and I started to cry. "Why are you crying!?" He yelled still waiting for my answer on his previous questions. "Because you're fucking yelling at me!" I yelled back and suddenly everything went quiet. "I'm sorry... I- I'm sorry." He said before walking towards the door. "Where are you going Styles?" Liam asked.
"To clear- to clear my head." He spoke softly before leaving the house.