Help Me?

Hi my name is Giavana but call me Gia. I am suicidal. I've tried to kill myself 3 times and failed. I also cut. It's like a addiction and I can't stop. My parents died when I was 5 so now I live in a orphanage where everyone hates me. And one more thing. Music is my life. What happens when Niall saves her? What happens when she meets a girl named Sophia? Is it good or bad news?


1. My Story

My name is Giavana and this is my history. I'll start when I was little. Since I was so little when my parents died all I remembered was I was happy. Even though I was only 5 it felt like my whole world was falling apart. I used to have a sister but she was in the car when the accident happend and also died. I was sent to an orphanage and was bullied.

When I was around 12 I had enough money that I saved to get a guitar. That's what got me through life. That was the year I started cutting. I've been doing it sence because it's so addicting like a drug. When I was 15 the orphanage gave me a iPhone because I've worked around the orphanage so much. Before I got the phone I wrote songs and played them on my guitar. Now I play my favorites like One Direction and Taylor Swift. They both are my inspiration.

Now I'm 18 and I'm in my room. Other people were downstairs trying to be adopted by some people. I never get picked so why try.

"Honey, people are here to adapt someone so I suggest that you come downstairs." Says the lady who runs the orphanage.

I stayed silent. I was walking to go get my song book then I saw myself in the long mirror that stood in my room. Ugly. Fat. Worthless. All of these words running through my head. At that moment I got depressed and ran straight into my bathroom and pulled out my blade. I'm so used to the pain that all it does is give me pleasure. I felt the blade glide against my skin and saw the red blood coming from it.

"This is what you get for being ugly!" I said as I glided the blade against my skin again.

"This is what you get for being fat!" I left another mark on my skin.

"And this is what u get for being alive!" That was my final cut and it was deep.

I washed my wrist off and went to my bed and then pulled out my phone. The one thing that calmed me down is one direction. I started listing to Little Things because that song usually makes me feel better. This time it didn't. All I was thinking was that they don't even know I exist so all the words in the song can't be true about me. Then I thought of the solution. Suicide. And this time I will make sure I don't fail. I started writing a note:

"Don't worry about me. Don't come looking for me. You won't find me because I won't be on earth anymore. I have nothing to look forward in life. No one likes me and I have no family or friends. I bet you don't even care that I'm not alive anymore. So goodbye."

I made my decision that tonight is going to be my night. At exactly 9 pm I will sneak out.

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