yeah I was stupid , I didn' have to jump from that bridge but I thought that louis hated me, I'm happy that the water was deep enough because when I jumped I realised that I couldn't do this to him. I love him and I want to marry him and I'm going to tell him that. the only thing I didn't think of is that I couldn't come out of the water so I almost drawn till zayn saved me. I can't thank him enoug but he called liam and I know how he can be, I made a terrible mistake, but if I tell him everything he will still hate me and I understand that he cares so much about lou but he never believes me. 'HARRY!!' damn there he is 'yes, liam' 'why in the world did you try to kill yourself' I sight 'I thought that louis hated me, I regret running awy' 'you don't have to tell me, you need to tell louis' 'I will but zayn doesn't let me go' 'and he is damn right, you should stay here for a week to think about what you did' 'what about lou' 'he's fine' I didn't like the thought about louis all happy when I'm not with him. 'liam, will you please tell him that I still love him and that I'm sorry' 'I will' and he walked away. 'zayn, can I please go to lou' 'it's better that you go tomorrow, you're still to weak' ugh why me 'ok, I understand'
since niall left I worried even more, so I got back to the kitchen and took the knife again, 20cuts and I thought it was enough, I walked to the bathroom and to clean the cuts, I was smart this time I didn't had my shirt on so It couldn't get blood on it. it stinged but I didn't care, I kinda liked he pain. I cleaned the cuts and got back to the couch to do, guess what, nothing except being sad. it was like 3 hours later and I heard the front door shit I need to put a shirt on, I justed grabbed a shirt when I heard a gasp 'boo, what is that' 'haz?' 'yeah, please turn around and explain the cuts' 'no, I don't need to explain to you, you didn't even explain why you don't want to marry me' 'I want to marry you, but I got scared' I put the shirt on and walked to the couch 'why? are you scared to tell the world about your feelings?' 'no it's not that, I'm scared to let you down and I realised that I did that when I ran away' 'harry, what do you want me to do' 'lou, please give me a chance to make it right' 'I don't know harry' 'please?' 'maybe I really need to .....' his lips crashed against mine before I could finish my sentence 'okay' and I started to kiss him again, his hands got under my shirt, I got the hint and took it off, I didn't think about my cuts till harry got to my waist and started to kiss it 'haz, what are you doing' 'I kiss the pain away babe' he was so sweet 'haz, I love you' 'I love you too, boo' he picked me up and took me to the bedroom cause I looked "tired", 'lou, you lost some weight, what happend to you in a week' I got tears in my eyes 'hey, it's ok you can tell me, I'm here for you ok, I promise I will never leave you again' 'really?' 'yes, now please babe tell me what happened' 'I-I didn't H-H-Had A r-reason t-to live so I t-thought I could s-starve m-myself' I started crying again 'boo, you have enough reasons to live, what would the world do without you, everyone would miss you' he kissed my nose and I giggled a little 'what's the story behind the cuts' 'I didn't feel anything except the sadness so I decided to cut myself to have another feeling, maybe it was wrong but it felt so right' 'you promise that you will never do that again?' 'I promise, if you marry me' 'let me tweet something first' he's kidding right? 'uhm ok' I got a notification harry_styles: chilling with my fiance @Louis_tomlinson omg did he really just tweeted it, I looked at him 'hey everyone needs to know about us' he's so sweet I pecked his lips and fell asleep in his arms.