218. Let's go!
…..loved me and then there's this deafening silence, when I look into eyes I fall deeper and deeper into this bottomless pit. I love you; but I hate you; I miss you but I'm better off without you; I want you out of my life; but I never want to let you go. I just have to do what’s best for me Justin, so no, I don’t love you and I didn’t feel anything when we kissed. Isn’t that what you wanted me to say?” Nicole said.
“Why do you keep pushing me away?” I asked.
“You wanna know why I push you away? It's because I've been hurt too many times before. So many damn people have gone in and out of my life. Some because of stupid reasons, but others with no reason at all. I push people away, because I'm sick of getting attached. I push people away, because I'm tired of getting hurt when they never cared. I'm just sick and tired of it. I leave before I get hurt. Simple as that. Besides, if someone is meant to be in my life, they'll come back...somehow. Sometimes I hate getting close to people because I think they will just walk out of my life no matter how close we are.”
“That’s what you don’t understand. I’m still here loving you after sixteen years.”
“Sometimes you have to fall out of love so you can fall back into it. Just leave Justin” Nicole said while putting her head down and opening the door.
I didn’t say anything. I just quietly left the room. I was hurt. I lost the love of my life for good. The kids were done packing and I was more than ready to get out of this house. I called some people to come get everything. I rented a UHAUL truck to bring the suitcases to the airport. The people put everything inside the truck. We were ready to leave.
“Let’s go!” I said to Justin Jr and Allison.