Baby you're the best I've ever had. -Ne-Yo.
I chuckle slightly after separating different ways with Anto, funny I call him whipped but I am whipped myself, that girl would probably tell me to jump off the cliff and I would just to see her smile. She has the power to make me do anything with a click of her finger.
Its so strange how she made me change my opinion on some things in such a short time. If I saw a girl with the amount of scars she has on her body I'd probably think she is a freak, but then I saw them on Paulina, god it made me love her even more. I feel like no matter how strong she is I still need to be there to protect her. With every might I have in me.
I enter my house not knowing what I can possibly do today, Paulina haven't contacted me or had any type of contact with me today and that's causing me to be upset. I decide to get over my pride and call her myself. "Hi babe." I tell her and she chuckles. "Told you about millions of times I hate being called baby and babe." She replies and I smile. "I didn't really see you today, and I miss you. Wanna come over? or I can come over to yours?" i suggest and she mumbles something on the other end. "You can come over to mine, my family are leaving to go out for a while I am about to start baking cupcakes, so company would be nice."She tells me and I grin. I heard so much of them cupcakes I can't wait to try them!
I get ready and leave to go over to her's. When she opens the door for me and that is the first time I see her in a short sleeved shirt revealing all of her cuts. It kind of makes me happy to know that she trusts me enough to show me them. But mostly I feel hurt to know that my girl is doing this to herself and she doesn't even want to hear the word 'help'.
I hug her and kiss her on the lips before walking into her house, not having to look around knowing I have already been here, over than a year ago. I take my hoodie off me and she stares at it as if its the best thing she had ever seen. I chuckle. "You can keep it." I tell her and she grins taking it putting it on herself, rolling the sleeves up. Its so big on her, its adorable.
She goes back to baking and I stand behind her staring at her. "Did you mean it today?" I ask her and she doesn't turn back to me but by her gestures I realise she understood what I am on about. "Yes I did." she tells me and my heart sinks, because I was hoping she'd say she said it in the moment because she was mad. "Why not?" I ask her confused and she turns back around. "Why? Because that's all we've been doing! Yes I like it too, but sometimes I would love to know what you really think of me doing it and my body. But you're too busy caring about your dick, and not your girlfriend."She says calmly and I stare at her open mouthed like an idiot.
"You want to know what I fucking feel like? I feel hurt! I feel guilty thinking those," I point to her arms dropping my arm down to my side."Are my fault too. One day I am afraid I am gonna wake up and someone will call me telling me you're gone, because you had an extremely bad day and you went to deep." I roar at her and she shakes her head. "Have some fucking trust in me." I chuckle and shake my head. "You're the one who thinks that you and me, are together for a reason to just fuck. Well you know what my fucking reason is? " I ask her and she shakes her head.
"Well I fucking love you, you fucking make me go mad about you, and especially a thought of knowing what you're mine and only mine. That makes me the happiest.You kisses can make me feel giddy like a loved up girly girl. Shit I love everything about you from the way you look like when you're mad, to the way you do this snort type of sound when you're laughing." I tell her and she looks at me shocked. "And then you manage to get these words into your head, I'll be beside you, with my arms wide opened." I tell her storming out of her house, in a short sleeved shirt, going straight home. I look back at her window noticing her standing there looking after me and I feel like running back taking her into my arms and hugging the hell out of her but I smile slightly and send her a quick I love you on the phone, before going home, giving her some time.