You make me strong. -One Direction Strong.
She replies only after a few hours. At around 6 in the afternoon and I was about to go mad by then. I really thought it wouldn't take her that long.
"Hi." she replies and I am about to roll my eyes at her 'excitement'. Until this moment I didn't really think that I'd tell her? So right now I am stuck for ideas. "S'up?" I send her and then slep myself in the face, literally. How stupid can I get? I am chatting to my crush and I tell her S'up? way too go Ian.
"Sky. what do you want from me?" she replies and I laugh at her smart ass comments. Only her.
"well a phone number would be good enough for now. well and maybe the repeat of yesterday. " I reply and bite on my lower lip, why am i so nervous?
"First of all, no I broke my phone so I have none at moment, unless you really wanna chat to my mother. And second of all. no thank you very much. you're a nice lad but it was just in the moment, and it's not gonna repeat ever again. First because I didn't really like it. Second because you're you. and third because I don't wanna hurt my best friend any more than I already did. " she sends me this. And I carefully read every single sentence. And then I re-read it over like ten times. She doesn't wanna have anything with me anymore?
I feel my hands starting to shake. and I try to write to her as fast as possible so she wouldn't think that I just left after her reply.
"Why not? I like you." i reply and I see Paulina is typing.. on the screen. "Well I am really sorry. I really am but I think you should try and find yourself someone who will be able to stay with you. I am not the type of girl who you'll like to be with." She replies.
and I sigh, rolling my eyes, I already would love to be with you! Why can't you see it?
"why not? "
"Because I have cuts all over my fucking body. Because I don't like guys getting close to me and leaving because it already happened too many times. Because I don't wanna get used again. Because Jenny gets hurt every single time you and me even look at each other and then she hurts she does bad stuff too, but it's her choice if she wants to tell you she will. Because you're Ian and I'm Paulina. You like me, I like you and this is my second time admitting it, and you'll never hear it again, because Jenny loves you. And just because."
She replies and I read the message so much I am a hundred percent sure I know each word off by heart.
She has cuts all over her body? She hurts herself. And I never fucking noticed. She always seemed like such a strong girl who is not affected by anything. How fucking ignorant am I?
This is her second time rejecting me over Facebook and for fuck's sake why is it every single time she pushes me away I feel myself getting more and more attached?
"It doesn't affect anything I said earlier. I still like you." I reply and she sends me a reply in a matter of seconds.
"And why not?" She replies. and I smile knowing I really am gonna do it.
"Because I fucking love you."