40. Chapter Forty.
You never really can fix a heart. -Demi Lovato.
I rub my temples feeling stupid for saying all of that shit to him, I was staring after him hoping he'd come back but he just gave me a small smile and continued his way to his house.
In the end I had to throw out the cupcake mix I prepared before we got into a fight because I ended up pouring half a cup of salt into it mixing it up with sugar. I decide on what I have to do and go to my room to get ready, I put on some navy and black squared tights along with lace high waisted shorts in black and a navy 'Bonjour Madame" t-shirt with mustaches under it.
I take all the money savings I have and leave my house after putting on his hoodie he left for me. And tying the laces on my purple dr martins. I go to a take away and grab me and him a meal each and then go to to Londis to get him his favourite jellies he is obsessed with, and last but not least a pack of condoms. Who knows what we might end up doing?
I knock on his front door and a women in her 40s opens the door. Must be his mom."Oh hello love. yo must be Paulina!"She exclaims and steps aside. I nod my head politely. "I heard so much about you! My boy stop talking about you."She says and I laugh. "I hope its only good things." I tell her and she giggles. "Oh yeah, of course he is totally mad about you!"
When Caroline finally lets me go up to his room I crash on his bed staring at his ceiling, smiling. I can't believe he stuck those up for me. I lay on his bed and I can feel myself getting sleepy and then I just decide to let sleep take over me.
I wake up startled when I hear some stumbles beside the door and I look at the door, confused. When the door opens and I raise my eyebrows. "You have to leave now." I hear some drunken whispers outside the door and I frown knowing its Ian and he is with some girl. I hear the door open and I look up at him he looks into my eyes and I notice his eyes getting tears over them. Is he about to cry? I stare at him shocked and he lays down beside me.I wipe under his eyes and he leans into my hand. "I was trying to have fun today, I was mad at you so i decided fuck it why not get drunk and fuck someone?But when I opened the door and you were here sleeping all cute and shit." He mumbles and I bring him closer to me. I rub his back and run my hair through his hair and he pecks my neck lightly.
"I came here to say sorry. I thought I was too harsh on you and you don't even deserve half of the stuff am pulling you through." I tell him and he chuckles. "As long as we're together, I am fine with it." He hugs me tightly. "I love being with you. I have never felt like this before about anybody. I feel like I am at home with you." He says and I close my eyes happily. "Before you I was afraid of being in love, because I was afraid of getting hurt by anybody." I explain and he kisses me on the lip, making me taste some alcohol off his lips. "But yo know what?" I ask him and he looks up at me. "I love you." I tell him and he grins widely his eyes brightening up. "I love you too."