School feels awkward. I feel like everyone knows my secret, and their all laughing at me. There's no way I can tell Doug, but I have to. Today is the day. Yes, I must tell him the truth or he'll hate me even more. I walk up to the lunch booth that Doug sits at. The first section of booths always gets to get in line for their food first. It's just a way of making sure the line doesn't stretch for miles, and everyone knows where their sitting too.
"Babe. Are you sure you're okay? What did the doctor tell you?" He asks.
"I'm fine," I reply, ignoring the other question.
"Babe," his hand moves up my leg.
"Stop!" I scream and smack his hand hard.
What the hell did I just do? It normally doesn't bother me, at all. I'm afraid of his reaction, of what he will say next. I look anyway. He looks shocked, and not Doug. He looks like he just got rejected, which is what I guess happened.
"What was that for?" Loren asks.
"Nothing," I reply, trying to control the anger bubbling inside.
"Uh. Okay," Carson says.
The table is silent for a while, and now I know I shouldn't tell him. Not right now at least. I look at him, and imagine what features our baby might take after him. His blue eyes, or his dark brown hair. His puckered lips, or his dimples that show. Maybe his love, or his strength. What would it take from me? Everything. He needs to know.
"Doug. We need to talk about something extremely important," I say to break the silence.
"I think we need to as well," he replies not looking at me.
"After school?" I ask.
"No. I need to know what the hell just happened right now," He demands with controlled anger.
I look over at Loren and Carson, them with odd faces still, and then back to Doug. He hints what I mean.
"Can you all go sit somewhere else for a little bit?" he asks.
"Doug! That's so rude, we can talk about it later!" I say.
He turns sharply and I shut up.
"Yeah. No problem," Carson says, almost too coolly.
They jump quickly out of their side of the booth, and I scoot to that side. So we can have eye-to-eye contact.
"You first?" I ask shyly.
"Maybe you should explain first," he replies.
I keep silent, and wait.
"Damn. Why the hell did you smack me? You've never minded before, but of course you might just be cheating on me. So you don't want me to touch you," He yells.
"Doug. Calm down-"
"Don't tell me to just calm down! I want answers, now!" He screams,
"I'm not cheating on you! I just wasn't in the mood," I say trying to keep calm.
"Wasn't in the 'mood'. Why not?" he asks.
"Because I'm not a slut," I reply angry.
"Yeah you are, and you're my slut," He stares deeply at me.
I try to keep the tears in, but by the time I get what he's saying I burst out in tears. I know tables around are watching the television show. Most likely laughing, like I expected. He looks at me, and he's known he went to far. He jumps up from the seat and comes by my side, about to sit. I push him from his chest away.
"Get away from me! You don't deserve to be a father to my child," I scream.
Sooner or later a teacher is going to hear us from the hallway. It's not very smart that they don't watch over us, because we could have food fights, or anything really. No one is stopping us anyway.
"What?" he asks confused.
"That's why I've been sick. It came out positive," I yell.
"What?" he asks again.
"I already told you!" I sob.
"No I heard you, but you're having my child?"
"Yes Doug. I am. I was going to-"
"We're done Frankie," He says as he walks away,
"Done?" I ask.
He doesn't turn around, he just keeps walking. I'm left alone at the table, but I cannot bare the looks right now. I get out from my seat, walk towards the exit. I look back and 100 pares of eyes are on me. None of them are Doug. I leave the cafeteria, and cry my way to the office. I have to get home.
"What's wrong?" an office lady asks.
"I just want to go home. Please?" I sob.
"We can't just let you go home sweetie. What happened?"
"It's very complicated."
"Okay. Well, if you don't tell us what's wrong we can't help. It's against school policy to let a student just go home."
"I'm pretty much having a child, and the father just broke up with me. Then everyone was laughing, and looking. I just don't want to have to deal with it yet okay? I need time to think things through and I can't do that here. I just need to go home for a few days to figure it out. So, please?" I plead through sobs.
"Oh sweetie. I'm so sorry! It's never late to give it up for adoption or abortion. I know it must be confusing for you. It happened to me when I was your age too."
"Really?" I ask.
"Yes. He's my son now, but it was very difficult. Me and my boyfriend back then are now married, and happy with three children."
"I'm not here for your life story," I say.
"Oh right. Sorry," she giggles a little.
"Can I go home now?" I ask.
"I think so hon. You can go ahead and call your parents on the phone in the small area over there," she says while pointing to it.
"Thank you so much," I smile.
I look at her name tag thing that every teacher or office lady has. Tara.