Two months later
I blink my eyes open and I feel the quick movement. I place my hand on my stomach in the same instance and feel it again. I slowly sit up with my medium sized belly. I then realize who's laying beside me, Carson. It's been two months since I've decided to keep my baby. I feel the kick again.
"Are you okay?" Carson's voice asks.
"I felt him, and I thought you were asleep," I say.
"I was until I felt you get up, and it's a girl," he winks.
He's been joking around that it's a girl, but I swear it's a boy. I honestly do feel it in my gut, it just has to be a boy. That's why I've been calling the baby a him. I haven't came up with any names yet, but I've thought about some. Nothing has popped yet, so I guess I'll wait. Carson says that if it's a girl that her name needs to be Camellia, and if it's a boy that it should be Carson Jr. He thinks he's going to get away with that, but I think not!
I've been spending a lot of time with him lately. He's been such a big help with all of this, and he's just so caring. He understands what I want even when I don't know.
"Are you two hungry?" he asks me.
"Yes! Wheres my pickles dipped in chocolate?' I ask seriously.
Carson gives me a weird look before responding "Your pregnancy cravings are getting weirder"
"It tastes good!"
"Tell me that after you have your baby."
"Whatever" I mumble crossing my arms over my belly.
We walk down the stairs, being as careful as a pregnant woman can, and head into the kitchen
He shakes his head as he heads over to fridge to get my order. I continue to stare at him, trying not to laugh, as he pulls the pickles out with his head hanged low. He then grabs the Hershey chocolate bar from the fridge, breaks the pieces apart, and stacks them into a cup for the microwave. I switch my attention to the television that looks oh-so-lonely. I carry myself and the baby to the screen of terrible nightmares and plot myself down on the sofa. My eyes roam for the remote until I see it all the way back in the kitchen. Urggh.
I pull myself up from the couch, and walk back towards the kitchen.
"Forget something?" he asks.
"The remote," I reply.
He takes the remote right when I get to it, like a horrible person he is.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
"Carson!" I yell," Hand it over!"
"Nope," he deviously smiles.
"Please," I beg.
"Mhh. Only because your pregnant," he replies.
He hands the remote over to me and I reach out for it. Our hands immediately spark as they touch, and I can see the fireworks blowing up in my mind. It feels like forever until it stops, but maybe time decided to freeze. I look up at his eyes, and he looks down at me. Did we just see the same thing or am I going crazy?
He awkwardly goes back to the microwave and pulls out the cup of chocolate, and I head my way back towards the couch. Once I arrive at my destination I sit back down, and turn the television on. Carson places the pickles and chocolate and the side table beside me quietly, and takes a seat on the other side of the couch. I continue to flip through the channels until I find one of my other favorite shows, Teen Wolf. I take a pickle and dip it in the milky hot chocolate.
What was that feeling? It reminded me a lot of when I was with Doug. Doug. Oh god. I miss him. I do. I can feel it in my gut that I miss him. He was, everything to me. He was my only lover that I trusted with my entire life. I would die for him, and I still would. He's supposed to be here for me and the baby, and I still love him after that. Where has my head gone for the past few months? I have to stop spending time with Carson, or things will go to far like last time. It's supposed to be me and Doug forever, and always. What happened to that always? Gone, and im going back into the darkness to pull it out into the sunlight, like it was before all of this happened.
"I got to g-"
Knock. Knock. Knock.
"What?" Carson asks.
"Let me get that for you," he says afterwards.
He pulls himself out of the chair quickly, before I can even attempt to get up. I sit back down, knowing it's useless. He creaks the door open, and I hear the gasp.
"What?" I whisper towards him.
"Doug is here to see you," he mouths back.