Blue

"No one else can hurt you like I can." I pushed back his shivering body that was yearning for me. I couldn't hear this anymore, how much I needed him. It was driving me mad. " Norie, why is that?" "Harry-" "Answer me Norie." "No!" "Norie!" I didn't want to say it. I wasn't even sure if the feelings I was experiencing were mine to experience. I was in a state in which I had no control over. After seeing Harry after 4 years I didn't know what to think. "Norie?" "Because I love you!" I sighed.

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3. Chapter Three

I wake up to find Harry balled up at the foot of my bed like a small dog and Louis sprawled out on the spare bed. My roommate is still absent. It makes it fell like the old days where everyone got along and there wasn't betrayal and I didn't get my heart broken. I stretch my legs making Harry fall to the floor. A huge thud echoes through the room causing Lou to spring up on his elbows. Harry groans and slowly rises from the floor rubbing the back of his head.

"Oops." I chirp. Harry squints at me and I can't help but return the gesture. His thick brown curls fall over his searching almond eyes.

In an instant a hammer is smashing into the back of my skull. I fall back to my pillow and press my hands to my temples. God! What is wrong with my head?

"Oh, shit. Do you have a hangover?" Louis ask coming to my side. "I told you to drink-" His face drops to the floor as he finds the three bottles of water dumped at the side of my bed . His socks growing wet. "Norie! You were supposed to drink the water."

"I tried!" I defend. I honestly don't remember him handing me anything last night. To be frank I remember anything past going to find Lou and coming up empty handed. What happened to me last night? Why can't I remember anything?

"Harry did you give her the water?" Louis asks. His eyes grow wide and he pulls the fakest concerned face from deep down wherever he keeps them and gasps. 

"Oops. I forgot." He smiles. 

"You forgot?!" I scream sitting up. "Ow!" I press my hands back onto my temples and lay back down.

"Harry go grab her some aspirin." Harry rolls his eyes and disappears into the bathroom,. "You're mum is going to kill me." He laughs. Oh my God! I totally forgot that we were expected at my mom's today. I lean up to check my alarm clock on the dresser but that hammer comes knocking again.

"Norie-" Harry's hands are thrusting at my face. I take the aspirin from his hand and Louis hands me a water from the floor.

"here."

"What time is it?" I ask taking the pills into my mouth.

"Nearly noon." Harry recites.

"We should go. She wants us there by two." I tell them.

"I don't think we should drive with-"

"Oh don't be stupid I'll nap it out." I don't know what my mom would do if we weren't there for Christmas. "You still remember how to get there right?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Okay good. I'll get ready and you do the same and we'll leave." Harry clears his throat.

"I'm not invisible." 

"You're implied." I cough. I try to make my way to the bathroom and grab my toiletry bag but it feels like an earthquake under my feet. I don't understand how I'll be able to make it to the showers down the hall.

"I'll walk you-" Harry says standing in the door way of the bathroom.

"Why? I grab the bag from the towel rack.

"Because I want you to be safe."

"I'm safe." I mumble.

"Norie, I'm walking you. The end." He demands. What happened to him? He used to be so sweet and nice and not so tatted. I watch his hands go for the bag in mine. A lightly inked cross is printed on the bottom of his forearm. Yet another tattoo.

"Fine." I give in.

"Louis we'll be back." He says and opens the door for me. 

"So..," He grabs my wrist to slow my pace. "Are you going to take my advice from now on?"

"About what?" I twist away from him. He claps his hands together and I greet that hammer again and grab his wrists.

"Ow, Harry!" He laughs and stares at me.

"So?"

"Maybe if you gave me the water in the first place, I wouldn't be sick." I point out. He shakes his head and runs his fingers through his curls.

"it doesn't matter about the fucking water-" He curses.

"What maters is that you didn't listen to me."

"Harry, I don't have to listen to you. I'm 18 I make my own decisions." I somehow know this is more about that guy, Allen or Alec or whatever his name is from last night than the drinking.

"You can start making decision when you know who the fuck you're talking to." I knew it!We get to the showers and I snatch the bag from him. I wish we could have avoided that conversation entirely.

"Bye, Harry." I say with a smile.

"I'm going in there with you." He insist.

"No, you're not." He raises his eyebrow and picks me up bringing me into the locker room."Harry!"

"Calm down drama queen. If I see anything I haven't seen before I'll throw a dollar at it."

"What happened to you?"I shake my head.

"I grew up ."His voice is so faint. So small. He sounds so sad and normal Harry. "You going to get undressed or what?" Then he says something like that and ruins it.  I swat at him and make him turn. He obliges and pouts as he folds his arms. "You've become such a prude since I left."

"I was a virgin when you left."

"So you're saying you've slept around since?" His voice is on edge and cracks. He turns to face me as I pull off my now itchy red dress stained with alcohol.

"Harry. No, now turn!."

"I like the combo-" He says taking in my polka dotted boy shorts and white bra. I lean down to grab the towel I brought. "I'm serious." He walks to me closing the gap between us.

"You remember the first night, I-" His smile spreads quickly as his thumb grazes my bottom lip. The hangover I'm in right now is amplified by the heat from his touch.

"Ow-"

"Did I hurt you?" His eyes search mine.

"No- I," I push away from his hands and take the breath I didn't know I was holding. "I have to take a shower." He smiles at my reaction and rubs the back of his neck.

I can never let that happen again, he knew what he was doing when he invited himself to "Keep me safe." I wash my body and finish my necessary cleaning before washing my hair and joining Harry back out into the locker room.

He has his phone pressed to his ear as he chews on his thumb nail. 

"Uh-huh, how far away? Uh-huh. Well, hell of course. I'll stop by today."

"Who is that?" I ask when he finally hangs up.

"Uh-why are you so nosy?" He mimics. I roll my eyes and take a towel to my hair. "You're not walking down the hall in that are you?" I shrug.

"What's wrong with it?" He half laughs, half scoffs.

"You couldn't be more stupid. You're flaunting yourself. You're in a flimsy little towle!" His shouting doesn't give me a constant tango with Mr. Hammer so I figure the hangover is fading. I wish I could say the same about my irritation. I pull the door open and walk.

"Your pissing me off on purpose."

"No, I'm not." I lie.

"You would never go in public wearing a towel. I know you better than that." His hand grazes my wrist.

"You don't know me at all. You've been in London for 3 years. Growing..."

"You make me grow." He whispers into my ear. I gasp and turn to face him.

"Harry!" He burst out in laughter and opens the door to my dorm.

"I love making you-" 

"Norie!" Louis screams."What are you-"

"Hold it!" I laugh and cross over to my bed diging the black and cream Dorthy Perkins dress out of my bag. 

"Cute, huh?" I smile and head to my bathroom. The only thing in the dorm bathrooms are a mirror and toilet. It's not small at all so I don't know why we don't have separated showers. I pull my blow dryer from the small drawer and plug it in pulling on black underwear to match the black skirt at the bottom of my dress and a white strapless bra.

I blow dry my hair and curl it into spirals before pinning it into a bun. I smile at my experiment and carefully pull my dress up over my body. 

I outline my eyes lightly with black eyeliner and apply a light coat of pink eye shadow and blush. I decide on a dark red lip stick and leave the bathroom.

"So we should get going now-" Louis' eyes are wide Harry's hand stops abruptly at the hem of his shirt tight black shirt.

"Guys!" I snap. Louis clears his throat and runs his fingers through his hair.

"You look great-Harry doesn't she look great."

"Yeah-absolutely." I turn laughing and find my black heels I've been saving for special occasions, Christmas being one. Then it hits me, I haven't bought Louis or H-him a present. I have to do that before we get to my mothers.

"Time?" I scream clicking the strap in place. Louis grabs my phone from my pillow and clicks the screen.

"What the hell?" I pop my head up at his outburst.

"What?"

"Who the hell is this?" He slides me my phone but Harry intercepts it and freezes.

"Fucking, Alex!"

"What?" He shoves the phone in my face and I find a screen saver of me and  the blonde kid sitting by each other, his lips on my cheek and my hands folded in his around yet another cup. 

"It's just a kiss on the cheek." His face turn pale and he finds his shoe and leaves the room.

"Seriously?! He's ridiculous!" Louis looks nervous as he finds the rest of his outfit. I know he wants to say something. "Lou!" 

"What?"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I raise my brow.

"Lou."

"You don't know their history so he's not being ridiculous." Gosh. I know nothing about him but come to think of it when we were whatever we were I knew nothing about him. It was so one sided!

"Who is he? Who is Jace-"

"Norie-just come on. Stop with the questions." How could I stop when Harry flips pout at the mention of him. Although now I know how much he pisses Harry off I think this guy may come in handy.

Louis grabs his keys and pulls me outside. It's pretty chilly today a low 60, I wish I brought a cardigan or something and tights anything to keep my legs from turning blue. The clock on the dashboard says 12:42 and the drive to Scottsdale is only 19 minutes but with Louis driving we'll be there in 30 minutes.

Scottsdale brings back so many good memories. Louis and I getting caught smoking behind the high school (cigarettes)  and getting sick a week after and almost puking our guts out. I promised never to smoke after that.  The day when we almost got arrested for public indecency, and finally all the memories of Harry come flooding in.

Meeting him for the first time at a dinner party for out parents along with Lou and his parents and tons of others. Hearing him trashing his house after hearing that his father was leaving his mother. I can't believe I've never heard about Alex or anything else. Come to think of it I met him when he was in a bad place and i knew nothing about him then. How could I have liked someone like him so...rebellious and outraged.

His first tattoo springs to my mind. I sat beside him as he clawed at his tight black skinny jeans and bite down on his shirt as they sketched the black ink onto his perfect- Norie! Stop! I yell to myself as I snap out of my very vivid daydream. What is wrong with you?

I will wrap you in my arms. Let me sign...Let me sign!

Let me sign by Robert Pattinson plays through my headphones as I watch my surroundings fade.

 

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