Blue

"No one else can hurt you like I can." I pushed back his shivering body that was yearning for me. I couldn't hear this anymore, how much I needed him. It was driving me mad. " Norie, why is that?" "Harry-" "Answer me Norie." "No!" "Norie!" I didn't want to say it. I wasn't even sure if the feelings I was experiencing were mine to experience. I was in a state in which I had no control over. After seeing Harry after 4 years I didn't know what to think. "Norie?" "Because I love you!" I sighed.

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20. Chapter 19

"You must know that that's how I truly feel, Norie. You're not getting rid of me until you understand that I will do anything to keep you." He tells me, the bloody rag now pressed against the raw skin on his forhead. 

"How can you expect me to do that, when you'll just leave again. I can't take it. You don't know the emotional state you put someone in. You may not believe it but you are charming and it hurts to loose you." 

"You don't have to," He tells me and drops the towl onto the marble counter, pulling me close to him. Our faces inches apart. 

"You say that now."

"I'll say that days and years from now. Norie, trust me." 

"I can't" I want to I really do. I want to rest against his body and let all my worries pour away, let him promise me all these things that he probably won't go through with but I want to because in realtiy I deserve it. After everything I have been through, I deserve to be hugged and comforted and be told that I will be the only one, that he won't leave but he's lieng. I know. 

"You say you will, but you won't. How can you promise me this when-Harry you won't." I'm crying now as he pushes his thumb against the wetness pouring down my dry cheeks. I don't want his comfort but I can't seem to pull away. 

"You know you want this. You want me, you always have."

"That doesn't mean I need you. People want stuff all the time it doens't change anything. You moving here isn't going to change my mind. I love you, yes Harry. I love you but I'm not going back to you." He thumb softens agaisnt my cheek and he quickly pulls away like I've burned him. "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize. It's Zayn isn't it?"

"What?!" How is he connecting any of this to Zayn. 

"It is him I can tell. You were getting so close to breaking I could see it and now that's he's around you've grown some skin. Like what the fuck!" He slams his fist against the marble counter and presses me against the wall. 

"Harry, let go. Stop!" I know he would never physichally hurt me but that doesn't help my heart from pounding against my chest. "Harry you're scaring me."

"I don't care, I need you. I want-I fucking desire you. You can't just feed me bullshit. That's all that was, it was bullshit. Norie we both know that I'm getting you one way or the other."

"Getting me?"

"You know what I mean."

"Harr-"

"No, listen." I look away from him but he pulls my face back to his, the green slowly being over powered with glossy black. Anger. "I love you, okay. I have since fucking freshman year and nothing will change that. I may not show it but people don't always show their feelings. I just-" I press my hand agaisnt his chest as he presses his lips agaisnt mine. My tears mix with the metalic taste of his lip ring and he presses deeper into my body and I find myself wrapping my arms around his neck. 

I'm relapsing. That's what I'm doing. Harry my drug and even the slightest taste of him has me reeling back to the dark place I used to be, without him I will shake and shiver but with him I will be nothing but a lifless cold chell and unfortunatley he will be my fatality. 

"You feel it don't you." I press my head agianst his chest and let myself breath in the air around me while being in cased in his mint and nicotine. 

"We're leaving now." My mother interupts us. His arms around my waist and mine around his neck. I quickly push him away and wipe the taste of him from my mouth.  

"Harry."

"Charlotte." He speaks, walking past her but stopping. 

"Call me, okay. I need that, at least tell me where we are." I nod and pull at the red cardigan, becoming a little less baggy on me as the seconds pass. When he leaves, my mother turns to me wide eyes. 

"Eleanor Elise Barragan, what was that? I've told you once before you will not see that boy again." 

"I'm not seeing him." I tell her waling past her as she grabs my wrist. "Anything sexual. Do you understand?"

"Yes!" I snap, walking back into the livingroom where everyone is standing besides Liam. 

Harry's P.O.V

I step outside, the taste of Norie still on my lips. The sweet inno-

"Hey." The man from earlier says stepping toward me, flicking a cigerette from his fingers. 

"Hi."  I mumble. I'm not in the mood to talk to anyone, especially anyone who has any connection with Norie beside being her God damn brother. When he came to her side during out little fight I would have ripped his fucking head off too, if I wasn't so preoccupied with Zayn. Who is he anyway. They better not have history. 

"How is she? I know she's all rattled from earlier but-"

"Yeah, she's fine."  I cut him off. Who the fuck is this guy. The door clicks behind me and the Barragan family pours out onto the nicley trimmed lawn, decorated with tiny little maids. 

"Bye, Liam." She tells him, wrapping her arms around his neck, just like she did when I pressed her agaisnt the wall. It takes all I have not to rip his fucking arms off. She turns to look at me and I think she's about to hug me before Charlotte pulls her away. 

"Come over again? Okay?" He calls to her and she waves and nods. 

"Of course Liam. Come over to the New Years party tomorrow?" He nods and gives her a big fucking cheesy grin. The doors close and the car disapears. 

"Can i talk to you?" I ask.

"About?"

"Can I?"

"Sure." 

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