Chapter 3: Love sucks
I was in a state of chock. I had no idea how to respond to what Stefan had just told me. “Wait, what exactly did Damon tell you?” I asked. He looked at me with empty eyes. “He told me about your kisses. You two being together. It's fine, Elena. I just... It was a mistake coming back here. And now I'm leaving again,” he said. “I'm so sorry, Stefan. I just didn't want to hurt you any more than I already did,” I said desperately. “No, Elena. Just stop. It's fine, you love him. That's just the way it is. I just came to say goodbye.” He stood up and walked towards the door. “No, stop! Wait Stefan!” I said. He stopped and turned around. I could see tears in his eyes. “Elena, I can't do this. I love you too much, to see you, knowing that you love Damon. And not me. This is goodbye.” And then he was out the door, and gone. Suddenly, I felt numb. Stefan had been a part of my life since high school. It was weird that he suddenly just... Weren't there anymore.
“You okay?” My heart skipped a beat, when I heard the familiar voice behind me. “I'm fine, except for you scaring the life out of me!” I said and turned around. Damon stood there and looked at me. He looked worried. “Why on earth did you tell Stefan what happened? It happened two years ago!” I felt angry. Why did he have to ruin everything? “It may happened two years ago, but I know you're still in love with me. I felt it yesterday when we were alone. Don't deny it, Elena,” he said quietly. “That doesn't make it okay! You shouldn't have told him!” I said. “He deserved to know it,” he said and stepped closer to me. I stepped away from him. “You have ruined his life by telling him! That wasn't necessary, Damon!” He stepped closer to me again and put his hands on my shoulders. “Elena, I want you to forget him.” I looked down immediately. He couldn't just compel me to forget Stefan. I wouldn't let him. “Don't use compulsion on me, Damon! Don't you dare!” I said and tried to get free from his firm grip. “Look at me. I'm not gonna compel you, no worries. Just look at me, please.” Damon Salvatore using the word 'please'. Something was definitely wrong. I looked up at him. And I could see it in his eyes. There was no denying it. He was still in love with me. So when he put his face closer to mine, I couldn't do anything. Our noses hit each other. I looked into his blue eyes. Those wonderful eyes.
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” I asked, with a very low voice. What if he had a girlfriend back in LA? I had a boyfriend! Adam! What was I doing? I didn't get to think that much about it. He took the last step, and pressed his lips against mine. I should have pushed him away. I should have slapped him across his face, and yelled at him. But I couldn't. It was impossible to deny it at that moment. I was still in love with Damon. I had missed him. The feelings of his lips against mine, was nice. He would always be a lot colder than me, but that wasn't hard to get used to. His arms slipped around my waist and lifted me up. I put my arms around his neck, without breaking the kiss. He slowly walked up the stairs, like I was nothing but a feather. He carried me, gentle, like I was a small porcelain figure, but at the same time he carried me tight, like I was going to run away from him. He stepped into my room, and put me down on the bed, with him self on top. I suddenly got aware of what he was trying to make happen. And then I pulled away from him. “Damon... I have a boyfriend,” I said. His eyes were full of desire and love. Oh, how I'd missed those eyes. “I don't care,” he said and pulled me closer. I put my hand on his cheek. It felt cold against my hand. “We can't go this far. It's not right,” I whispered. There was no point in trying to hide my feelings. I was busted pretty bad. But I had to remember that I had a boyfriend and that I had promised myself nothing was going to happen between Damon and I. “Oh yes, we can.” And then he kissed me again.
“Damon, can I ask you something?” I asked. We had been laying in bed and kissing for almost 15 minutes. We had changed positions, so he was laying next to me now. “Of course. Unless it's about Stefan or your boyfriend. That would kind of ruin the moment,” he said and kissed me quickly. “It isn't... Why did you come home from LA?” I asked and looked into his blue eyes. “Well, Caroline told me you were coming home and that they were having a surprise party, just for you. So I decided that I would join. Why do you ask?” he said and gently brushed away some of my hair from my forehead. “I just wanted to know,” I said and shrugged my shoulders. “I just couldn't resist seeing you again. Your beautiful face, hear your sweet voice, feel your amazing body next to mine,” he said and moved on top of me again, starting to kissing me.
The doorbell rang. “Oh shit, it's Caroline!” I said, after ripping myself loose of Damon's grip. “What? Caroline? Why is she here?” he asked. I knew he wanted to go further. Further than just kissing. “We are going shopping.” I stood up from the bed and quickly made sure my hair wasn't a total mess. “Shopping? When you could be here with me?” Damon stood up as well and put his arms around me from behind. “Damon, we can't do this... I have a boyfriend, and you and Stefan agreed not talking to me anymore. That means no kissing,” I said and turned around. He frowned. “What? Where did that come from?” I really didn't have time for this. “That doesn't matter. We can't do this. And I need to go, right now.” I got out of his grip and walked down the stairs. Hopefully Damon had gone.
As I predicted, Caroline was waiting outside. “Hey, what took you so long?” she asked and tried looking behind my shoulder. I was praying to God that Damon was gone. “Oh, I just needed to put some things away, nothing more. Are we ready to go?” I asked and grabbed my bag. Caroline would be driving. “Sure, let's go!” We left the house and got out to Caroline's car. The trip to the mall wasn't long. 15 minutes by car, at the most. But still, Caroline knew how to use the time available. “Did you hear from Stefan today?” she asked, keeping her eyes on the road. “No. Should I?” Again, I lied to my friend. But if I told her Stefan had been over, I had to tell her that he was going back to Italy, and why he was going back to Italy. And that would result in her knowing that I had been with Damon. Something that shouldn't happen. “He just said he needed to talk to you. He asked me if I knew where you were,” she said and looked at me. “Well, I haven't talked to him,” I said and looked out of the window. Why was it so necessary to lie to Caroline?
It was lovely, shopping with Caroline again. After two hours of shopping, we sat down at a small café to get a cup of coffee. Vampires drink coffee like crazy. It helps them keeping their bodies warm. Even though their bodies function pretty much like normal people, they're still colder than normal people. That's what coffee helps them with. “So what was it Damon wanted yesterday?” she asked and licked the froth off her cappuccino. “What? I told you, he just wanted to know more about my life in London. My boyfriend, my job, stuff like that. I said that earlier,” I said and looked at my coffee. I felt really bad about lying to her, but it was necessary. “Elena, I know it's not like that. I really can't tell you why, but I know that is not what happened.” She had already told me more than she should. I could feel it. “What? What have you talked to Damon about?” I asked. Did she know that I had been having a fling with Damon before I went to London? “Nothing... Elena, it doesn't matter. Just forget it, okay? Let's go home,” she said and started looking for money to pay for the coffee. We paid for the coffee, and then Caroline drove me home. I couldn't help but wonder what she knew.
When I got home, Alaric and Jenna was home again. Hope sat in the middle of the living room with her toys and was playing. Alaric was watching her and sort of playing with her. Jenna was in the kitchen, preparing dinner. “Elena? Is that you?” Jenna yelled from the kitchen. “Yes! Am I home too late?” I asked and took my shoes off. “No, not at all! It's actually perfect timing. I'm almost done with tonight's special!” she said as I walked out in the kitchen. “Great.” I walked up the stairs to my bedroom and put all of my shopping bags down. Then I went to the bathroom and did my hair in a ponytail. When I stepped into my room again, Damon was waiting for me. “Damon, what are you doing here?” I asked and took off my cardigan. “Stripping already? You're desperate!” he said and laughed. “Not funny, Damon. What are you doing here? And how did you get in?” I asked. “Your window was open. I wanted to talk about the thing you said earlier today. About me and Stefan not wanting to talk to you any more,” he said and folded his arms. I sighed. “Could we not do this now?” I asked and sat down on my bed. I was tired after a long day of shopping. He sat down next to me and pushed me, so I was laying next to him. “This has to be now, Elena. So now we're cuddling, and you are going to tell me why you would get that stupid idea that none of us were going to talk to you,” he said and started stroking my hair. I enjoyed it a bit too much. His other arm grabbed me tight. I felt safe, loved and relaxed in his arms. Like nothing in this world could harm me. Sadly, that wasn't the reality.
“Damon, why are you like this? All sweet and nice. And loving,” I asked and turned around, so I could see his face. He stroked my cheek and let his fingertips touch my lips gently. “I asked you something else. And I asked you first,” he whispered. He moved his body closer to mine. “Really? What are we, 5 years old?” I laughed and looked into his eyes. “No. I'm 150. What about you?” Suddenly he looked dead serious. I frowned and pulled away from him. “Why so serious? It was only a joke,” I said. He shook his head. “My age isn't a joke, Elena. I'm old. But let's not talk about that. Why did you think Stefan and I didn't want to talk to you any more?”
“Elena, dinners ready!” Phew, saved by the bell. “You have to go, Damon. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea,” I said and stood up. I took one step towards the door, but was stopped by him. He looked at me, cupped my face with his hands and kissed me, like I have never been kissed before. When the kiss ended he looked at me. “I hope this explains my behaviour,” he said and then he was gone. Why did he have to be so mysterious all the time?