" I don't think you can" I whispered as tears rolled down my cheeks. " please sky, what happened, what did I do" he asked in absolute tears. My heart dropped into my stomach as I squeezed my knees tighter, and listened as he balled outside my door.
I couldn't say anymore, so I sat there and waited for him to leave. After only a minute or so he got the point and left, shutting the front door loudly. I huffed letting more tears fall, I turned my attention to my bag remembering the cigarettes that laid at the bottom.
I crawled over to my bag and pulled them out, looking over at the door really quick, thinking what louis would think if he found out. I nodded my head, confirming I was willing to go with the consequences.
I went over and opened up the window, I looked down wondering if I was ready for this. I looked back at the door remembering louis, then deciding Yes, I was ready. I lit the cigarette and took a deep breath in, I pulled it out of my mouth and coughed, that tastes like crap.
But it relieved some of my stress, so I did it again. I coughed but, not as bad as before, and as I kept going, the less I coughed and the better I felt. When I was done I smushed the bud against the windowsill and tossed it outside, I then blew the ashes out along with them. So no one could smell it, I sprayed perfume around the room.
Satisfied I sat down on my bed, which ended up as me just flopping on my back. I smiled at the ceiling I felt a lot better, like when I had no feeling for louis at all and life wasn't complicated.
After awhile there was another knock at the door. I jumped and sat up on my bed " sky, it's louis" that bubbly feeling came back immediately at the sound of his voice. " please come out, it's been three hours" has it really been that long.
As much as I wanted to I couldn't answer the door. I heard sniffling " please, I don't know what I've done, but I promise I'll make it up to, I'll make it better, just give me a chance" I sat there in silence, hoping he'd leave.
I heard shuffling and another knock " sky" Harry's voice soothed threw the door. " yeah" I mumbled. I heard louis sigh " so it's just me then" another dagger to the heart " sky open up" Harry said sternly, I slowly stood up then remembering I'd smoked earlier, what if he could smell it.
"No Harry go away" I said sat back down " no what's wrong" I stayed quiet, I can't tell Harry he'll kill me. " nothing" I said dryly as I brought my knees to my chest. " you and I both know that's not true"
" Harry leave, please" I started to bawl putting my head in my lap. I hated the fact that I can't tell him I like louis but, what I hated more is that he wasn't so easy to get rid of. He wanted to get under my skin, push me to get his answers but, I also knew he only did it to make me feel better, to make me happy again.
" why won't you let us help you" he said through muffled cries. " I just need to be left alone" I fought him to leave " I'm not letting you be be alone" he yelled. I jumped, it's defiantly been awhile since he's yelled at me.
" then I'm letting my self be alone" I whispered to myself as I shot out of bed. A slipped on my boots and jacket, I grabbed my bag and slung it over my shoulders and walked to the window. On the windowsill were the cigarettes still were, without a second thought I threw them in my bag and opened up the window.
" sky" Harry shouted again, I shuttered a little and rested two hands on the windowsill " sorry" I whispered hauling myself out, I grabbed onto the long gutter pipe that led down to the street and slid down. I took no time running out of parking lot. I ran until my lungs felt like they were about to explode.
I stopped to catch my breath and looked around. My eyes stopped on a little cafe, I walked in and went straight into the bathroom to fix myself up. I straightened out my makeup and clothes, feeling like I looked decent I walked out and sat at a stool in the back corner looking around the little cafe.
A woman, mid fifties walked up smiling, a real smile. You usually don't get that in big restaurants, that why I like the small ones. " how may I help you dear " she smiled. I smiled at her, she really cheered me up, just by being happy. " just a hot chocolate please" she nodded and wrote on her little pad. " I'll be right back with that"
She can back with in minutes and placed it in front of me "thank you" I smiled. She watched me for a second " are you alright dear" she asked with an apologetic look. I sighed " I suppose so" she sat down across from me " what's wrong dear"
I smiled at her kindness " you don't want to listen to my problems" I gave a half hearted laugh " well it's better sitting around this old dump doing nothing" she laughed, I sighed " well um, there's this guy" I heard her chuckle
" what" I looked up " dear I've heard this one a thousand times before" she giggled " but I've been friends with him for years, and so has my brother" I slouched back " he'd never approve" she shook her head at me " you like him don't you"
" well yeah" she laughed again " then who gives a damn go for it" my eyes went wide at the fact and old lady just practically swore " he'll never like me back anyway so what does it matter"
" did you ask him" I shook my head " he doesn't even know I have feelings at all" I slipped back in my chair a little more " and I've messed it all up anyways" she looked confused " how so"
" um well I haven't really talked to him all day, but that's like a century for us since we usually never stop talking" she shook her head in disapproval " Hun there's your problem, just talk to him, it will all work out" she smiled " but every time I try I get this weird feeling that won't let me"
" that's the hard part, trust me I've gone through this over and over again, it's just a stage it will pass" I looked down " when will it pass" she placed a hand over mine giving it a tight squeeze " when you make it" she said and stood up and walked back into the kitchen.